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Page 27 of 53

the stories you tell are something like spells they’re the closest that we have to magic each word misspelled in a sentence you tell can be mistaken in ...

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Everyone says oh God if the Professor was so smart why couldn’t he fix a boat if he was so smart why couldn’t he built a raft? He was on an island paradise with an elderly couple a gay ...

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all these years we figured the surveillance state would be wall-mounted and forced on us through fear in the end they’re in our pockets and we paid for it in the end big brother broke ...

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We are a nation founded on the notion of standing up to born-rich bullies then watching them pop like balloons in the face of a real fight. We are a nation founded on the notion of ...

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when damned near everyone has a camera in their pocket attached to their phone is everyone a filmmaker? is no one a filmmaker? what is a filmmaker? what are you? what am I? when damned near...

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There’s nothing more narcissistic than self-deprecation, of course. It by definition involves talking about yourself, talking about myself ‘til I’m hoarse. Whether telling the world...

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moth fell in love with firefly firefly don’t even know moth followed always from just behind hypnotized by the glow dazed by the light of some far-off thing that’s how dreams tend to go moth...

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two for the diabetes one cuz I eat like shit one for the high blood pressure one for so I don’t have fits two for my aching back four for my aching head through the mirac...

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a diamond is just dirty coal transformed by pressure and by time a pearl is just a bit of grit transformed by an oyster’s brine perfume is only whale vomit mixed in with a couple of...

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fix me to a star and I will sail forever dogged juggernaut fix me to a star and I won’t stop until I pass out or hit land tell me a direction to drive and I will go that way until the t...

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The Halloween Pledge: I will not slut-shame or size-shame anybody’s costumes but I will absolutely stupid-shame where and whenever appropriate. I will not tell you that your Harley Quinn g...

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“Consider the lilies in the field,” they will say leading up to election day “they do not toil, the freeloading bastards they are pirating water and soil that is far better used by corporat...

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I try my best to be a straight ally to my friends who are gay or trans or bi or in every other way do not fit the old sexual and gender binaries that are oppressive to even straight cis peop...

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Of course your web browser has an inferiority complex, YOU’RE ALWAYS MINIMIZING IT. You’re always keeping tabs on it. You’re always erasing its history. You’re always making it go backwa...

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whenever they say “please hold” during the course of telephony I like to pretend they mean that they’re very lonely as if they’re saying as if they’re begging “please hold me” it’s too ...

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The rights allowed prisoners are the baseline of the rights you will have as citizens in a time of fresh crisis. Attica. Attica. Everything you let them routinely strip way from a w...

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Writer’s block is really only a problem if you don’t let yourself write crap like this. Stuff that is banal and borderline obvious. Get it out of your system and then move on....

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Vilifying the Hamburglar that’s blaming the victim don’t put him in a jail just yet get the man some clean burger wrappers get the man into a twelve-step Ronald, you know the levels of s...

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Do not blame people for being mad that the police are killing people for no sane reason. Be mad that the police are killing people for no sane reason. Anger is a rational reaction ...

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there’ll be adamant balladry piercing old formations of what it was to be gallant that’s no longer guarding what was once was avant when the revolutions coagulate when the clouds of ...

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You are not perfect, I’m sure of it, but you’re probably perfect for someone. You’ll be perfect because of your strengths not despite your weaknesses even though you’ll always have weakness...

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It was Talk Like A Pirate Day a few days ago which was, of course, was desperately annoying a lot of people took the thing too farrrrr look around, you know who you arrr do pirates have Talk ...

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carbon-based though we are we still seem pretty squishy standing at the start of our prime still we are just water and carbon we can be shaped into diamond with just enough pressure and tim...

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there are those who would be driven cruel crazy and weird by the assurances of bedrock faith picture us agnostics as dry drunks in the face of comforting madness if I was sure of anything I ...

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tempus fugit tempest fugitives we’re all on the run from the oncoming storm that’s the passage of time in the fudging of our memories in the temples of the mind tempus fugit tempest f...

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