Entries 1,315

Page 2 of 53

I walk a little blind dog for about a block and a half the one way then the same back and he pisses just about every five yards or so he marks his territory he doesn’t know that the...

---

I just don’t understand why those two random guys were so goddamn excited about seeing a bird or a plane Superman, sure, I get that dude flying around in tights but “Look! Up ...

---

maybe I should invent a job called “impersonal trainer” where you just yell into crowds or into a camera: HEY, YOU SHOULD EXERCISE I DON’T KNOW WHICH MUSCLES OR WH...

---

when we arrived at this masquerade we couldn’t just leave someone already paid over time, we learned to dance our lives away to someone else’s beat by the ti...

---

I’m sorry, Mister Williams Junior I am indeed not ready for some football I am in no shape for any sort of Monday night party It has been a really long day of work and Tomorro...

---

I’m not a provider she was right her stepford montauk mcmansion mother was right I am not a provider I was never a provider I will never be a provider and not j...

---

Irene, good night Irene, good night Good night, Irene Good night, Irene I’ll see you in my dreams I’d always kind of thought that Herkimer’s Pizza-Hut would manage to survive the heat-de...

---

ancient troubadours rehearse in a tuneless droning verse of loves fucked up in youth patrons lost for told truth and the soothing thought for some that a death will eventually come ...

---

this cracker-jack love while sweet clouds may fade with time the true prize endures

---

if only you would pull me through that little screen I’d be your a-ha

---

approximation in words, equivocation in action, a pity

---

supertragic expeditious funky halitosis even though the smell of it can lead to holy gnosis building up in weeping nodes of psychic scoliosis supertragic expeditious funky halitosis

---

i wonder if you dream of me, as I dream of you, in the summer

---

those cops just threw him in the river the rocks were what bashed out his brain and you can’t press a charge on a river that would be wholesale insane they’re all just ...

---

silence is golden and I’m goddamned near broke silence is golden it’s soft and it’s rarer than hen’s teeth in a vegan restaurant it’s precious and lusted after hoarded and often stolen when no...

---

you have to save everyone. if you can’t save everyone, save as many as you can. if you can’t save anyone, save yourself for later. if you can’t save yourself, at least save ...

---

all you gotta do is change your name to be a pop star or a rock star or a rap star all you gotta do is paint your face like someone else hide the fact you were born super rich or claim yo...

---

my working theory on The Grimace is since he was originally a shake stealing villain with four arms but is now Ronald’s mentally dim sidekick the Grimace’s brains are distributed throughout th...

---

we made our own make-my-own sundaes on perhaps ten thousand occasions over the breadth of my Adirondack childhood great heaping glops of caramel sauce even though we said “carmel sa...

---

at the very edge of what is seen violet churns, some soft machine of indigo-glow and purpled gleam beyond it, seen only by the bees those ultraviolet codes in trees bu...

---

there’s not much point running from you are no way you’ll get far not by fame or by feet not by drugs or by car there’s not much point because wherever you might ever stop running that...

---

Bob Dylan never lived in the Empire State Building but back when he was known as King Zim, he did climb it while carrying Joan Baez in one giant meaty hairy hand and scaling the side of t...

---

oh dull preacher-man you don’t have to tell this fella bout hell a place that eats men and shits out murder I’ve known that place since I was quite young it’s where my dad worked i...

---

were I here to judge I would’ve been born with a pounding gavel and a white powdered wig instead I was born with ears and hands and a mouth that’s too big over these many years I’ve co...

---

1.) drop off uncle’s bike at the town pornographer for start-of-spring repairs (the town pornographer is also the town bicycle mechanic. small towns gotta double up.) 2.) order (on-line) ti...

---