Entries 186
Page 6 of 8
sept. 30, 2012
'It's 5 a.m. here and I can't sleep. he's asleep. No I'm wide awake, actually. my sleeping schedule's been weird recently. got somethin on my mind. Um. Whenever someone else makes a mistake I'm a...
oct. 1, 2012
'>So, as said. My ankle's better, for the most part. Still bruised, slightly sore. But I can move it. My foot's been sore. and aching. It was aching earlier. I slept weird this weekend. i'm no...
oct. 1, 2012
'>I know I'm being melodramatic [I know. I'm being melodramatic. really?] about this whole quarterlife crisis thing. or.......possibly not. maybe? And I'm sorry. But......the thing is......you...
oct. 2, 2012
'Yes we had another fight this weekend. Sunday. it wasn't even a real fight. By which I mean I didn't bite or otherwise physically hurt him. i'm workin on it. And now I'm legitimately angry. W/ h...
oct. 2, 2012
'>......our latest. fight, that is. "It's like putting a penguin in florida" is what he told me about our last fight before this one. "it won't work". And that goes into my whole you-can't...
oct. 2, 2012
'So clearly I'm in deep denial here. I've never wanted to believe it to begin w/. But lately I've been in this surreal dreamlike hazeshock about it. I mean the sex [i'm talking about the 2nd rpe ...
oct. 2, 2012
'So. All my life I've been led to believe I 'should' be over all my various issued [depression, anxiety, my addictions, anorexia, schizophrenia, ptsd...........stuff w/ my mom, my sister, etc] by...
oct. 2, 2012. *
'And yes I do mean SA as in Sex Abuse. not as in rpe. they're not really the same thing. Right and as put. *TW. So this is fairly new. So the other day I got triggered due to pot. I remembere...
oct. 3, 2012
'.......vindictive. bc no that's my dept. On the whole. fight. thing. between the boyfriend and i. I was thinking about this earlier. and, now. He's a nice guy. a really nice guy. He doesn't mean...
oct. 6, 2012
'>.......Child, Prince, Forest. Might T not sure. for mention of SA. And slight TMI/slightly gross. A dream in 2, 3 parts. So dreams are weird. and disturbing. and scary. well this one was...
oct. 10, 2012
'>.......fukin angry. Ok um wow. So this past weekend - by which I mean Sun. - this a.m. - could've been better. it wasn't great I'll be honest. Last night was good. and. there were some goo...
oct. 11, 2012
'Ok so wow. I apparently fuked up. So I'm sure everyone remembers how angry I was w/ James. For what he said. Yeah apparently I'm wrong. As a friend very recently pointed out. Like I don't want m...
oct. 11, 2012
'him w/ my soul. and at the end of the day. he's still the person............ and, insanity. and all across the board. So, I'm not perfect. well no clearly not. um. ...........................
oct. 13, 2012
'Um. I don't know. I'm starting to go through stuff again. well i was starting to last week. And I don't want to talk about it. no well i do but only if the person doesn't say anythihg when I tal...
oct. 13, 2012.
'and inadaquecy. Yeah that's how much I weigh apparently according to my boyfriend. Um. wow. No and that's not even like. 'fat. and neither am I. No bc I'm still tiny damnit. I don't even want ...
oct. 15, 2012
'they're wrong. and cake. Um. So, Matt was right when he told me that............. thing about the thing that I was angry w/ James for. well that's helpful isn't it. when he - Matt - told me t...
oct. 15, 2012
'.having time to think is............ and once again. Matt's right. So.uh. We're back [on]. well not that we'd ever broken up - this time - but it felt like it was headed that way, from my en...
oct. 15, 2012
'why but i'm trapped by your love and i'm chained to your side. um. so. sososo. Bc of the fact that I don't know Arvada well whenever we're there I don't understandably want to go off and get...
oct. 15, 2012
'Ok so. Bc of recent health issues. The boyfriend and I havent been as physical-sexual-sensual as we could've been. First, almost 1 month ago the 25th of this month I sprained my ankle at his pla...
oct. 15, 2012
Well. I don't have a job. But anyway. So this is the latest news. He wants a new job. He's been working at a Walgreen's in Wheatridge - yeah my bad. well I'm so used to thinking in terms of him l...
oct. 16, 2012.
'As put. So. we have a plan. He's going to inform the people at his work he's quitting, although he has work today and tomorrow so he can't, you know. Be at work to work once he's quit. it's ei...
oct. 23, 2012
'rivers. mtns. friends. the 2nd one. bed, place, ghosts. and fantasy. and cutting yourself off. and my triggers. and mtns. Ok so. This time of yr is the perfect time to take photos. It's all so...
oct. 24, 2012
'all coming back to me now. It was around this time last year that: I told a friend I'd been rped. his response was 'omygod i'm so sorry'. That was Nov. 30 I started drinking in Nov. I met my b...
oct. 24, 2012
'um. right, as put. it happened again. Ok so that makes it sound like it's new. It's been happening for.um...........half a yr now since April. Oh and by 'it' I mean my um. circus visits. But thi...
nov. 3, 2012
'god so. um. idk where to begin. well that's not entirely true. So last Fri. the 26th I went to the bar's Halloween party. I was wearing this corset thing and a miniskirt which I'd made shorter. ...
