Since OD is shutting down....
by justme25
Entries 1,165
Page 28 of 47
Mooches and liars.
It seems like that’s all this town has to offer and I’m sick of it. So my old roommate has been around quite a bit lately and he’s still the same person he was 2 years ago. Very pushy, rude, and ...
Work, lack of sleep, drama.
So my friend ended up going over to his Mom’s house and was able to recover my child’s belongings. He went up there once and the brother told him the stuff wasn’t there and then he went up there ...
HOLY FUCK.
Yeah so about 6 weeks ago I had connected with his Mother and she had taken my daughter 3 times in one week. Well she had her on a Saturday but then decided if I wasn’t going to let him take her ...
Living life.
So I haven’t wrote for quite a while because I’ve just been so busy and tired. It’s exhausting being a single Mom, working, making sure bills are paid, and keeping the house clean. It’s also been...
It's been awhile.
So I’ve been super busy lately with work, my daughter, and dealing with drama from her deadbeat Dad. I decided to unblock him and give him a chance so for the past 3 weeks he was around about 5 t...
My new mission.
After having numerous people bail on me, some with no notice at all, I’ve decided that I must find a permanent solution to my daycare problem even if it means switching to days. I just can’t hand...
Shit went down.
Ok so that girl that was watching my kid 3 nights a week turned into a completely POS. The first issue was her smoking inside her house while my daughter was there. I went to pick up my kid one n...
Shit's gonna go down.
OK so BD is going to have a warrant for his arrest for violating the RO. I’ve also modified the RO on Thursday and added my daughter to it. He’s STILL messaging my friend and won’t stop. I just d...
This weekend sucked.
So my best friend was here this weekend and she said that she was going to stay the night, help with baby and we are going to hang out the entire time she was here. Well, we hung out for about 2 ...
Fuck everybody.
Ok so this is the second weekend in a row that I’ve asked my brother to watch my kid and he didn’t. I watched his kid Friday night and then yesterday I had both kids and they were both driving me...
Here I go again...
My family is a fucking joke, they always have been. All they’ve ever done is make me feel like it’s my job to help them, even if it means me going without. I’ve been on my own for 11 years and th...
One thing after another.
So I get my work schedule FINALLY yesterday and I’m scheduled 2 days. Seriously. So I text and ask about it and was told it was just sent to get everyone off his back because they all get sent at...
Drama with family!
OK so as I already predicted, it didn’t work out with my daughter being at my parents house. Wednesday it was fine because my Mom was off so she was home and my baby was fine the entire time. I s...
Back to work tomorrow!
So I haven’t written in a couple of weeks because I’ve just been taking care of baby, cleaning house, and haven’t had much to talk about. I finally got my work schedule and I have long shifts the...
New stress.
Alright so I’d like to go back to work in a couple of weeks. I’ve texted the new manager yesterday and he has yet to respond. Being ignored is making me feel like getting put back on the schedule...
Saturday.
Today hasn’t been too bad. My Dad came this morning to see the baby and he took out my garbage, emptied the cat litter box and visited. They all came back later and my Dad and I went and got some...
Hobby ideas.
I’ve been off work for about 3 weeks now and even with a newborn, I’m finding I get super bored after taking care of her and keeping my house clean so if anyone has any ideas on hobbies for me, I...
CS is filed
My Mom went with me yesterday and I got it done. I know that I will probably never receive any money from him but in my state, you have to file to keep your child on Medicaid, food stamps and chi...
Just another day.
So it’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve had baby. She’s been more awake the past few days and eating more probably due to a growth spurt. Everyone says she’s definitely gained weight and today her...
Child Support.
OK so I’ve been thinking about the child support situation and talked to my friend about it. He never signed any papers except one at the hospital with his name, address, and his social security ...
My baby came!
Holy crap things have been super crazy. My water broke on the 4th and I had my daughter right after midnight on the 6th. I was in the hospital for 4 days and we came home on Saturday. My family h...
Bored as shit.
I’ve only been on maternity leave for 3 days and I’m already starting to feel the boredom. I just wish I wouldn’t have gotten stupid hemorrhoids or I’d still be working. I’ve definitely started f...
Plans changed.
OK so I’ve been dealing with the hemorrhoid issue for several days now. I have always been prone to an anal tear but this is just as bad, if not worse. I’ve done every OTC thing possible along wi...
Just done.
So I had to call in Friday and Saturday due to my lower back/pelvis hurting so fucking bad I could barely walk. It’s the first time I’ve ever missed a weekend. I’m still upset about it because I ...
Back pain like a MF!
Alright so I don’t know what the hell happened but I got to work Thursday evening, went to the bathroom and my back started hurting like no other. I went to get off the toilet and there was a sho...
Book Description
I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.
I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.
So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.
I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.
I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.
It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.
My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.