Entries 1,165
Page 13 of 47
The weekend.
So I got her from school and fed her Taco Bell for dinner so she could go to my brother’s for a couple of hours. We talked about how my Mom is supposed to get all of my uncle’s stuff once he pass...
Facebook.
So last night someone posted needing a sitter for a little girl about the same age as mine and needs care starting on the 5th. I messaged the Dad and had arranged for them to come over and meet u...
Doing just fine.
Keep the comments coming you guys! I definitely appreciate all the love I receive on here. I really enjoy reading your inspiration and I can say that I’ve really learned a lot from other people’s...
Lies.
So I seriously believe he made everything up about the new job. I went on Google and Indeed and didn’t find ANYTHING pertaining to even the city he claimed he was going to. I knew something was o...
It's done.
I went and got my envelopes and finished up the paperwork. It got mailed about an hour ago. I am just so glad to be done with it because it’s a lot of stuff to fill out and there’s a lot of crap ...
My decision.
So since last night when I asked him if we could discuss the Summer and then 2 hours later he responded with, “yeah” it made me remember all the times I had pleaded with him to get enrolled and t...
Wednesday.
So I spent an hour waiting to get my oil changed. I’m so glad to get that over with. I also went and got my copies made that I need for the modification. I went to my parents for a little while t...
Yeah.
So I wonder if when we do get the change to talk, he’s going to come up with some bullshit excuse why he can’t go or doesn’t want to to and then he can plan another carefree Summer not working or...
Um.
Okay so didn’t really hear from him all weekend except last night when he asked what I was doing. My daughter called him a few minutes ago where he claimed to be working but couldn’t video chat a...
My theory.
We had a pretty uneventful weekend this time and I apologized to my daughter for it. I always feel bad when we having nothing going on. It’s like we either have too much going on or not enough. T...
People's advice.
So the other day I was talking to my friend about not having childcare where she said I should apply for childcare assistance even with me explaining that I only need it for the Summer but you ar...
No No.
So I had inquired some free stuff on Marketplace last night and they messaged me this morning to come get it. I drove to the other side of town where the stuff wasn’t outside so we left. I wasn’t...
More thoughts.
So my parents stopped by and brought us toilet paper and paper towels. We hung out for a little while after I cleaned up the house and took a shower. We got a few things at the Dollar Tree and th...
It's Saturday.
So last night I waited to get my daughter and then we came home and had lasagna. Her Dad just ignored me when I told him I wish I had a sitter and that I hadn’t been to the bar in a year. He just...
Feelings.
So my heart has been heavy since last night and I’ve cried my eyes out. I can’t believe that we’ve wasted the last 6 years fighting and having no contact and now he’s leaving. I know that for his...
Plot Twist.
So I went to the chiropractor this morning and then stopped at my parents to visit and get our laundry. I came home, ate lunch, and put laundry away. I also put the new bedding on because my kid ...
Modification Thoughts.
So she hung out with him and his ‘girlfriend’ last night and then he got huffy when I said she needed to get home for medicine, bath and bedtime. It must be nice to be the fun parent where you do...
Ablations round 2.
So this morning went well. My daughter talked to her Dad and he’s going to pick her up after school. My parents came and we took her to school and I got my ablations done. The Dr was running late...
Child Support!!
Okay so, he claims he’s to get paid tonight and there’s still nothing showing on the website for payment. I’ve called and talked to new caseworker where I was informed that I should see something...
Child Support Letter.
So yesterday was a pretty stressful day. I was definitely starting to run out of patience because I’ve been around my kid quite a bit lately because she’s been suspended twice and her behavior ha...
Please tell me what to do.
So I was starting to feel anxious yesterday and couldn’t explain why and then I got the call that I need to go pick up my daughter from school. Her behavior started early last week, long before s...
My life.
Ya’ll are awesome and I appreciate your words of encouragement and kindness. It really does mean a lot! I feel so grateful to have support, even if it’s online. I don’t have a lot of that here in...
What matters and what don't.
I’ve done a lot of thinking since last night and realize a lot of things. I have definitely went about all of this the whole wrong way and now, I plan to go about everything in a whole other mann...
Being better.
So I ignored him yesterday simply because it was a day where my daughter was driving me nuts and I didn’t want to be any more triggered than what I was. My brother text later in the afternoon say...
I'm fine, everything's fine.
But yeah, he messaged late last night asking if he could see her today before he goes to work. It’s still not confirmed if he’s working or not. I don’t know if I should call and ask or just wait ...
Book Description
I’m really not into switching to another site but it looks like OD is going offline in the next few days. I downloaded my diary but it looks way different and doesn’t seem like all my entries are in it and that makes me very sad. I’ve gone through so much in the past 3 years and everything is documented on OD.
Anyway, I’m just exhausted from work and school. I love that I have so much going on and I am creating a better future for myself but getting enough sleep is always a task. I still have to take TYlenol PM every night or else I will be wide awake until I do. I am just so sick of it. I miss being able to go to sleep on my own. There’s just so much going on nowadays and I don’t want to spend all my free time at home sleeping.
I got most of my homework done and I feel pretty good about that. I’m glad that i’m in an easy math class this semester because that is my toughest subject. I love my computer class because it’s stuff that I already know how to do, I’ll just get better at it and learn a few things along the way.
So it looks like I’ll be going to court on the 21st for my small claim lawsuit against the place that fucked me over on my car. I talked to the mechanic today that worked on it and he said that he would go to court with me but I never believe they’ll actually do what they say until the time comes. I really hope he does because his statement is really important and I just don’t know who else is going to come with me.
I still don’t have much to do with my family. My Mom is probably the biggest bitch I’ve ever known and I just can’t stand trying to talk to her one the phone. I called her yesterday to let her know when the court date will be because I couldn’t hear her because they were in the car with the windows down because they were smoking and I tried to tell her I couldn’t hear her and she got all defensive so I hung up. I was just too fucking tired to deal with her attitude and how rude she is to me so I hung up and went about my day.
I decided that if they don’t give me any money when they get their taxes that I will be completely cutting them out of my life. I helped them with $1,300 in the month that I borrowed her car and gave it back with a full tank of gas so I do expect even $40 when they get their taxes. Her and my Dad both told me that they would give me some but I really doubt they actually will because they NEVER pay anyone back and that’s why no one helps them anymore but I almost lost my car and got my cable shut off from helping them and I just feel like if they don’t even attempt to pay me back then they didn’t appreciate me helping. I know that I need to cross them off regardless if they pay me back or not but if I don’t hear from them when they get their taxes, that will be the last fucking straw for me. My family has done nothing but use me and shit on me my entire life so I don’t expect much but it’s just sad how much they have fucked me over and the negative affect they’ve had on my life.
It’s been nice to be off today and yesterday, it’s been much needed. I just feel like I never get enough sleep and being sleep deprived all the time is really not good. I’m glad to have just been at home to hang out, sleep, take a hot bath and get most of my homework done. I hate feeling like I never get enough sleep and I feel like I walk around like a zombie most of the time. What made it worse was having to get up 3 days in a row and 2 of those days was dropping my car off to get some shit fixed. It’s nice to take my car to the mechanic and not have to deal with a bunch of drama to get it back. I don’t have to worry about anything and that alone makes me grateful to have a different car.
My ex is still on my mind quite a bit, more than what i want him to be. I just can’t understand why I can’t just forget about him and move on. I’m still stuck on why he treated me so badly and how he did everything he could to convince me that it was completely acceptable for us to never see each other and that if was fine for him to never include me in his life at all. I was just fighting a losing battle and wouldn’t let go of it. I know that it’s because I had no one else and loneliness was a huge factor but I will NEVER again let someone talk to me like he did. Just because he didn’t call me names like my ex John did, doesn’t mean he was any less abusive. He said some of the most awful things about not only me but people I loved and cared about. He got sick pleasure from knowing how much he brought me down. My friend at work said that I need to find happiness within myself and she’s right. I need to work on myself and figure out my feelings towards my past before I try to find another relationship because it wouldn’t be fair if I met someone now because they would suffer from how others have treated me and I’m not ready to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice to have someone to do shit with in my free time and I would love the company but I need to figure out myself first. My ex left behind a very confused, hurt, shattered person and I need to fix what he did to me, not by finding someone new but learning how to be comfortable within myself and focus on school and work and just doing me before trying to bring someone into my life.
