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I only seem to find it in motion. Stillness is unbearable, and a drowning silence is too much. I also don’t like jarring clatter, or erratic surprising sounds, but something steady and reliable- ...

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I find myself gripped by a particular paranoia: No matter what I do, I feel as though I am squandering my time. This weekend I had two paths to choose from: -Rent a drum sander and move the ball...

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Something about me that surprises people is that I took two years off of grammar school- 8th and 10th grade- and I barely graduated at all when the end of 12th rolled around. In fact I had to wor...

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A while ago I was feeling a bit like Dorothy waking up back in Kansas to a black and white world, possessed with memories of the place I had just been- “and you were there! and you!” Today? Those...

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I grew up in a town that was founded only a hundred and fifty or so years prior specifically to be a resort community for rich folks. Prior to that, it was missionaries and churches, but in the 1...

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I feel like you can kind of look around in three directions: You can look towards the past, to different eras and degrees. You can look around at the present, to different specific physical plac...

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This is Iron Claw’s fault. Watched it on Father’s day and was reminded how good and moving something could be. What a quality film. Where can I find other things that reach me? Where do I begin t...

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When last we spoke I was puking my brains out. I thought it odd that I had the flu at all, since I had never had the flu before, and there was a reason for that. Wasn’t the flu. Few weeks later, ...

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I am just today emerging from the worst sickness I’ve experienced to date in my life. I will spare you the details, except that when I finally achieved sleep- this would be 72 hours after I start...

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Can’t get enough of life this spring. Feels like the very color of my soul is young green. I practice these meditations daily, sometimes constantly. The overwhelming aesthetic of waking nature is...

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Life feels like this odd journey away from home on a one-way highway. Dense traffic. Some cars race past. Some linger nearby long enough to take them for granted. But always this feeling of “home...

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I was already running late when I rolled into the shop, and my first instinct when I saw the delivery truck there was to just keep going. My girlfriend’s car broke down the weekend prior, and I h...

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And where might that be, exactly? I have a few songs that seem to pair with very specific moments throughout my life. These moments are a layer cake of sensual memories in which the song fills th...

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I don’t understand people when they wish more empathy into the world. Why invite that much heartbreak on an already beleaguered humanity? I think refraining from judgement is oft confused with e...

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I have at last, with one final visit to the deeds department, pieced together a rough enough idea of when this old house was built and by whom. I hereby consider the matter closed, so that I may ...

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My grandmother’s house smelled like 1940s linoleum, ancient cigarette smoked wallpaper, thrift stores with mostly old wool items, and a distant whiff of moth balls with cabbage. An extremely uniq...

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I continue to spiral into historical research, though I’ve branched off a bit from my targeted house research into other avenues. The answers I need to progress on that front are in the county bu...

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I bought this old house on the river in town a few years ago. This very old house. Previous owner was an old lady whose family had all either moved out or died, and according to her, and the off...

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I’ve seen young folks describe this thing they call “the valley of cringe,” which apparently is something one must pass through in order to reach Being Cool. Not much context is provided other th...

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I keep time slipping during walks around the river and neighborhood. Something about the exercise and the scent of local spring flora and the calm undistracted stillness of mind. It lets in dis...

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First dream in a long time the other night. Bit of a nightmare, to boot. Didn’t realize how much I missed dreams. Might be time to give up the inhibitors. In the dream I was at a party of some ...

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I think I found the problem. I haven’t known what to do with the recent societal malaise beyond chalking it up to the internet, or at the very least social media…but I think that is outdated. I t...

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I keep having these mini psychotic breaks throughout the day. Some random memory, or a piece of a memory, will fire- like ringing in the ears- singular at first, then overwhelming. I have a creat...

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My girlfriend has been playing this game lately called “Lord Of The Rings Or” in which I have to chose between Lord Of The Rings, by JRR Tolkien and other things. She finally got me with “showeri...

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When I was a kid I attributed a benevolent will to the universe, and perhaps people, when in reality it was just the herculean efforts of kind and generous individuals who felt compelled to look ...

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