Entries 234
Page 5 of 10
Life
I’ve been trying to write and I have no words. Things are.... weird. I’m still here.
Done
My 5 year boyfriend broke up with me 4 days before our 5th anniversary and the day before my dead best friends birthday. Fuck this week.
"I get it."
I ate two chewy bars for dinner because Protector said as long as it has nutritional value it counts as food. I’m too low to cook and I guess I needed a gentle reminder that as long as I ate som...
Day 3
Today is the 3rd day in a row that all I can think about is you and I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about it anymore so I’ll just scream into the void… Your birthday is in 3 days and t...
No.
I’m fucking heart broken and livid and just fucking defeated.
Halloween Asks
Favorite Halloween movie? -Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost Halloween costume this year? -Fox Favorite Horror movie? -Case 39. There’s a lot of memory attached to it Best Halloween/Fall themed ...
Five things
I don’t know what to write about but I want to write anyway so I’m going to use my anxiety grounding technique… Find Five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear,...
Music
I started listening to music I haven’t since I was probably 13 to 16ish and let me just be the first to say…BAD idea. My heart hurts.
Bleh.
Mini update: Day 2 of this head cold. I’m really foggy right now with all the pressure but none of the pain of a headache. I took cold medicine around noon so It’s almost time to take it again. I...
Fuck you.
The motherfucker who killed my best friend plead not guilty today. His trial is coming in a few months and there’s more than enough evidence to bury him… but I’m afraid. Everyone keeps telling me...
Work in Progress
I got 5 or 6 assignments done today. I’m still about 6 assignments behind in that class but I actually got something done which is a major improvement. I’m proud of me.
It won't be like this for long
I have so much that I need to do this week and instead I keep getting so stressed out that I completely shut down and can’t deal with any of it. I keep trying and then it turns into me reading th...
Things were ours. Things were ours for such a long time and I got comfortable with that. Now everything’s gone back to being yours or mine and I have to learn how to be me without you all over a...
Random Survey Bullshit number 5. (6?)
A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? -Regular text? “Drunk words are sober thoughts” to Krista, Messenger? “I’m gonna come up with another halloween costume. There’s no way I’ll ...
Desensitization is a goddamned nightmare.
I don’t ever put trigger warnings on my journal because it’s mine and I don’t write for anyone else but If anyone reads this I talk about suicide. Things have been rough around here for most of ...
Grinning with the lost stare
It always comes back to this fucking song. Why does it always come back to this? At least young, emo me is content with it.
I think this is survey thingy number 4? possibly 5. Here we go: A. Why did your last relationship end? -Emotional abuse, manipulation, and a bunch of other bullshit. B. Favourite band? -I don’t ...
"This has to MEAN something."
I’ve always been someone who believed in “signs”. On the flipside I dont believe in coincidences (most times anyway). Well, I was in the basement last night clipping Squirt’s fur and getting inc...
I have some down time and I don’t want to get into the rant from the past few days so I’m just going to do a few more dumb survey thingies. Does anyone actually read these? Probably not. tell me...
Survey Thingies Round Two
I can’t focus enough to write a real entry today so prepare for survey hell. Do you have any regrets? -One but I don’t consider it a regret because it was never my choice Do you have a deep, da...
Water is a reoccurring theme in my life. Weird.
Today feels like water. Too much rain, too many puddles, an ocean, teardrops, heavy fog, dew in the grass, Squirt’s wet beard, a pond where a field used to be. I can’t even explain why because ...
Goldfish
Skye and I finally talked some last night which of course turned into a lot of me crying. He asked “Why are we still doing this?” and I said “Because I fucking love you and I want to be with you....
Ugh.
Just once I would like someone to see me with a baby in my arms and not be able to stop themselves from swooning a little. I want them to not quite be able to stop themselves from picturing me wi...
Hold on to me and never let me go.
The difference between you and everyone else is that when they cuddle with me it just feels like cuddles but when you cuddle me… you hold me. You make the bad go away. You make me feel safe and ...
Sesame Street
I’m sitting here at work with Helen laying in my lap with her blanket watching Sesame Street. Shes sucking her thumb and yawning. Shes got a red mark on her face from this morning when she trippe...
Book Description
Hello, All.
My name is Emilie. I’ve moved here from Open Diary and hope to be able to use this as a place to talk. I will write about every day things, thoughts, and things like that. I am going to try to write every day to keep a log of what I’ve done each day, but there are no guarantees. I forget sometimes to keep up with diaries (as anyone who knows me from OD can tell you).
I rarely posted anything that was Friends Only on OpenDiary and I don’t particularly plan to on ProseBox. I will if I need to though.
I’m posting an about me entry so If you would like to know about me, go ahead and read it.
