Entries 234
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Early Mornings. P.S. I got up 10 minutes early anyway
I went to bed at midnight last night despite knowing my alarm would be going off at 4:30. I tried everything to get to sleep but by 1:30 I was still awake. I wasn’t even can’t-stay-still restless...
Hinder
Lets go home and get stoned. We can end up making love instead of misery. Let’s go home and get stoned ‘cause the sex is so much better when you’re mad at me There’s just something about that ...
Liar, Liar, You'll pay for your sins.
Why do you have to come back here and shake things up again? I was doing just fine without you. I am doing just fine without you. I loved the way you made me feel but you hurt me when I was my m...
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“I really hope you don’t hate me before I can finally find clarity.”
I'm sick of crying
Depressed means panic mode comes out a lot more. Panic mode means a lot more angry “attitude” moments. Everyone is going to start hating me but I swear I’m doing my best. I cried for over two ho...
Who would want to celebrate anyway?
I know it’s just the depression talking but I feel like no one gives a shit that I’ll be 25 in a week. I thought 25 was supposed to be important. A quarter of a century. I wanted someone besides...
Up before the sun
I finally fell asleep some time after 1 this morning and then I woke up some time before my alarm at 4:45. I’m so tired but your sleepy whimper and adjustment to pull me closer make it a little l...
Ugh. Fuck you, prosebox. I trusted you.
I wrote out a good long entry tonight. It took me almost an hour to write and then the page refreshed itself before I could do anything and the entry was gone. What happened to autosave? This ha...
Nesting
I want to just skip ahead to the part of my life where I’m happy with someone that wants to spend their time with me and start a family. I want to own a little house that’s not perfect but it wor...
JCH
Today is your birthday and I miss you. I’ve thought about you a ton today and it hurts. I almost hope you reach out. You shouldn’t and I shouldn’t miss you. If you read this, Happy birthday. I ...
Warrior
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror tonight and for a fleeting second I saw her… She was younger then, naive, with galaxies in her eyes and an inferno in her soul. And once she faded all ...
Untitled
I haven’t felt this alone in a long time. I’m sorry, you deserved better. I broke my promises. I’m sorry.
Let go.
I’m pretty damned good at compartmentalizing. I really am. That said this shit hurts. I’ve tried and tried to get past it and I just land here every time. I’m sorry I’m not stronger. I wish I wer...
Zzz
“I can’t sleep” I made him roll over and lay his head on me. About 5 minutes later he rolled over but kept my arm around him and he was asleep almost immediately after. He doesn’t believe he’s r...
Okay but he's great
I’m a little bit in love with YungBlud. What have I become? Also… HELLO EMOPHASE THAT NEVER LEFT
Grumpy
I’m allergic to fleas and I’m also a magnet for all biting bugs. About 20 bites later (in 2 or 3 days. Not bad except 13 are from last night) and I’m just grumpy.
Tried hard to correct it, but nothing was effective.
I need to know what really happened to you. The spiral won’t leave me alone.
Running at 75%, maybe.
They say that if you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream… Well I slept from around midnight until around 2:30 and then I was just awake until after 6. So like. ...
Friday the 13th
I curled myself into a ball and had your arm between my legs. My head was above your shoulder but my cheek was against it. My legs were cold but your arm was warm. We were watching Friday the 13t...
It's only a matter of time
I keep seeing a car crash over and over again. In my dreams, while I’m awake, and everywhere in between. Not I’m just waiting for it to actually happen. Fuck this. Maybe talking about it will k...
Stop.
Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it. Let go. It isn’t fucking worth it anymore.
Sleepy
I haven’t been sleeping, mostly just listening to forensic files and reading some things on my phone. I got up to go up stairs and while I was putting my glasses on you rolled over and growled in...
I only want to cry a lot.
I typed out a whole fucking huge entry and it never saved to my drafts when I told it to… its just gone.
Coughing, still and again.
I coughed that kind that takes your breath away but you cant feel in your throat and I couldn’t breathe for almost a whole 20 seconds. So much for prompt care helping. Apparently my airways soun...
We are okay
I am getting through this dumb move because you are here with me through it. We hold each other through everything and I am so grateful for you. You keep waking up and mumbling at me to ask if ...
Book Description
Hello, All.
My name is Emilie. I’ve moved here from Open Diary and hope to be able to use this as a place to talk. I will write about every day things, thoughts, and things like that. I am going to try to write every day to keep a log of what I’ve done each day, but there are no guarantees. I forget sometimes to keep up with diaries (as anyone who knows me from OD can tell you).
I rarely posted anything that was Friends Only on OpenDiary and I don’t particularly plan to on ProseBox. I will if I need to though.
I’m posting an about me entry so If you would like to know about me, go ahead and read it.
