Entries 307
Page 9 of 13
yeah so yesterday.
as mentioned evan and I got together. um. I went into the B&N and looked around a bit for him but he wasn't there so I looked around again. he wasn't there I phone him he's on his way. I get ...
it's like i'm still afraid
So I think I was at my last house. where I was living for 3 months. I just didn't fully realize it at the time. I was afraid to displease the lady. And looking back it's like yeah. yeah I was. S...
yeah so i saw evan this weekend sunday.
Ok so that's yesterday. and it was. really nice. I've missed the hell out of him. I forgot how blue his eyes are. wow. they're as blue as Pat's. We met at the B&N. café. there wasn't much ...
yeah so, more happenings.
Um. So we have Smirnoff green apple in our fridge right now. and I'm. not having any a decision made by me for me. It's my fave drink next to SoCo. and Guiness. and I wouldn't just have 1 bottle ...
my roommates, the family thing.
So, my roommates. like I said Stephanie's the mom. she's nice and seems very sweet but. she's one of those annoyingly cheerful happy people. She's like 'good morning!'. I mean I'll say 'hi' whene...
so in other *other* happenings.
um. So the latest 2 things are. well ok 3: 1: I sprained my ankle afreakingain. the last time was the end of Feb. yeah that took like a damn month to get better. the exact same one I sprained a y...
yeah so i. don't like anime.
there's something else you didn't know about me. well I do and I don't. same goes for vanilla.and.......any mention of Casper. you know, the ghost. and fairies/dragons type stuff. I like them in ...
ya know. honestly. *trust, nothing to do w/ evan*
I want to see you be brave. no, kidding. I like the song though. sara bareilles. No but uh. honestly. that's the main reason I'm not in a relationship right now. is bc I don't entirely trust gu...
yeah so on dr. phil today
they talked about violent relationships. yeah that's. not something I talk about. or think about. it was an interesting ep. I only watched half of it cause these 2 ladies had been burned by their...
Like I said on the 13th. of last month I moved into my new host home. where Jen, Kris and Stephanie are. So at my last one. well I was there for only 3 months. and it was ok. I wasn't completely...
well it's not like i don't. not, trust him at all *evan*
I've just. never completely trusted him. so it's not like this is new, or anything. I've just never thought about it this much. cause I didn't want to. cause I knew it would hurt. and suck. if ...
um so trust. or again lack thereof. *evan*
Ya know. I want to be able to trust evan. well I don't think I ever completely tusted him. I trusted him about 70 - 80%. but that's more than most people. er I mean that's more than I trust most....
I moved. not, by choice and um it was really sudden. I moved 4 wks. from today into my new host home. w/ Kris, Jen and Stephanie. yeah the date I moved the 13th - of last month - was an exact yr....
never told anyone. the way i told him. *evan* *SA*
Ya know. I knew that in order for evan and I to be more open w/ each other and in order for us to. move forward. er I mean I needed to tell him that he'd scared me. at the time last yr. it hadn't...
yeah so trust. or rather lack thereof. *evan thingy*
yeah so on.........Sun. after having a bit, and then a bit more [to drink] Evan and I talked. we've been talking a lot lately. so I told him that last yr. when he was staying w/ me due to his ins...
yeah so evan news.
um well he's here seems to be doin alrite. I still don't know what all exactly happened. we talked about it and he's sorry for putting me through that [well yeah. he should be] but that he needed...
Ya know back like. a yr. and.........23 days ago. Evan saved me. he took care of me the way people should've a long time ago. but apparently not only would I not have been receptive, A but appare...
Ya know. I shouldn't be the one regretting things. that should be the lady I was living w/. she should be the one regretting how she treated me. and I don't know if she does or not. so yes I fee...
i'm just so angry.
and hurt. and disappointed.
i tried but she didn't
ya know. I tried. to do what she wanted. to for instance be quiet in the kitchen so she could sleep. I tried to have things a certain way. for her. to stick to her schedule. I put in a lot of ef...
um yeah. this is kindof a sad entry. I thought. I was strong enough to not. be used. I thought. she cared but no I guess I was wrong. I thought. maybe I mattered to her but I guess maybe I don...
used and objectified
so the lady i'd been living w/. she wanted to use me. she wanted to isolate me. she didn't want me to tell people things that had been going on at the house. she wanted to have things her way and...
I know I should be more understanding. But, I'm currently not. So last night Evan phoned me when he was drunk. And then I phoned him and he said he was going to take sleeping pills. And, I belie...
I think that. I make excuses a lot. Like oh it's cold out so I won't go to the store. when clearly I need more food in the house. and yeah sometimes it is actually legitimately cold out. but may...
um yeah. so on Sat. we talked. and, it was good for us. we had a good day. and I want the best for him I really do but. I don't know what that is, exactly. I don't know what he ingested last Su...
