Entries 307
Page 5 of 13
which. isn't really his issue it's mine. ['he' again being evan]. see people can apologise. and yeah that's nice and everything. but it doesn't mean a whole lot until they tell me 'well I can't ...
in love w/ a metaphorical ghost.
although. i'm not in love. but w/e. metaphorically speaking of course. [this is like my...........4th metaphor lately]. I think. that I like the idea [the 'ghost' part] of who evan was better ...
well I mean. that's a bit of an odd way to articulate that sentence since you don't remember people as they are in the present. I mean 'remembering' isn't thinking about the present. er that's. n...
just. really sad right now. fukin hurts.
so i'm just. really sad right now. it's currently 10:20 p.m. the girls are over they've been over since like 4 this afternoon. 'the girls' being Nicole's daughters Leila and riley they're 3 and 4...
3 things. [regarding evan of course]. *E*
yeah so I was just re-reading some of my entries and writing some sstuff down. 1: and back in april according to my blog I was letting him go. what changed? 2: in May a reason I want[/ed] him ...
a lot's happened in 4 months
well. almost 4 months. I was thinking about this recently. um............ok so May 13th I moved in. I didn't have any of my stuff wasn't allowed to go and get it. that was the night I called the...
Ya know, I'm not a big white snake fan. I think. that people do come into our lives for a reason. and some stay and some don't. some, of their own accord and some not. some die and that's how th...
"my soul is dying" - evan
this has to do w/ my last......entry. he said that the other wk. [er, 'the other wk.' no it was this wk. it's been a long wk. my god. I feel like I've lived 2 wks. or somethin just in 1]. yeah s...
something beautiful and broken still can make a pretty sound
it's from a song from the tv show 'smash'. remember that show? I. like that song. a lot. um. yeah so lately. I've been depressed. like not suicidal depressed any more. just idinno. numb. it's w...
replication/i want last yr. back
'yeah. maturing's a weird thing. I realised this awhile ago. it doesn't feel quite right. it feels a bit terrifying, actually. I want last yr back. even though yes I was sick. I've never been t...
you're not who i thought you were - sara bareilles, 'love song'
evan, again. ya know. like. a yr. ago. [actually it's been a yr. and 4 months and 6 days. it's also my ex's 31st bday. um. he's single according to FB] he was so sweet to me. evan I mean. he was...
"i'm tired of making you cry"/"you have nothing to worry about"
evan, of course. [who else but?] yeah so he calls me bc I asked him earlier to call. and I think oh ok so i'm going to talk about something that I should talk to him about and he'll listen but h...
i don't do powerless/powerless as all hell/circe
I want to be Circe. you know, the lady who uh.............um. Hercules [er, 'hercules'] Odysseus encountered on hiss travels. she was the lady who turned her enemies/those who'd offended her into...
sleep, again. and comforters or lack thereof. and RLS.
this is a bit of a boring entry. um so I think I slept better this morning. I slept from 4 a.m. - 1 p.m. which is um. 9 hrs. I went right to sleep which like never happens but maybe that's not a...
so they think it was a meth OD.
but they're not sure if it was accidental or uh. intentional. I just found this out today when I asked stephanie. oh i'm talking about Jared's sister's Jennifer's.passing. she passed this week, a...
so.um. something happened. but not to me.
So I have news. Stephanie's son in law Jared's other sister Jennifer evidently passed away this week. I don't know any of the details. And I know it's not my place to be involved [in] and i'm try...
a few yrs. ago my bar friend Lou and I were talking about this. and she said that. and ya know she's right. I used to think that 1: all that meant was.uh. letting people do what they wanted w/o t...
so, Mon./Tues.
yeah so on Mon. Jessica came as usual. um. we went to firehouse subs for our last hr. I wouldn't go there again I didn't like my sub. it was alrite. during the 1st 2 hrs. she did things which I f...
um so i had an epiphany on. recently.
er that is I had an epiphany recently. I came to a realisssation. it was something i'd realized before but not this fully. so as sweet as I come off. i'm not a nice lady sometimes. but only like...
so we're back.
evan stuff of course. I only wrote my last entry 2 days ago? wow it feels like it was a week ago. but a lot happened Mon./Tues., so. no but that's how my days always are. like ok so the bus cam...
jekyll, hyde & someone else
yes this is about evan. of course. so um. that was bizarre. [i'm also really tired so a few things seem more bizarre to me than usual]. so a few mins. ago we were on the phone and he asks me abo...
sorry I just. should vent. yeah so last night Stephanie got uh. dinner from Noodles & Co. I had the penne rosa which I ate most of which she was surprised by. I don't usually eat a whole lot...
so. not ready. and yet strangely disappointed.
So he and I were talking [after he made me angry and so I texted him via email testing him going 'call and we can talk about some stuff. I might just go to bed early tonight. and tomorrow night t...
feel like i'm just. being strung along.
which is funny cause i'm doing that exact same thing. i'm using him until. something better comes along which it won't unless/until i'm open to it. I want him to be that better. but. and. maybe...
i deserve better/"i'm not the most reliable right now" *E*
yeah so we jut talked. evan and I. and he told me that. but I want him to be. he's the one person i'm closest to right now. and have been for a long time. and that's where my fault lies. not my f...
