Entries 307
Page 11 of 13
i'm missing words. er i mean. words are missing.
This is different from the usual. Usually even if I can’t think of the word er. I mean. I know what it is but it doesn’t like. I can’t actually verbalise it. it gets lost. i.e. i’m talking about ...
ok so I might be an insomniac. nocturnality. wow.
All my life I've been nocturnal. apparently. I started noticing it when I was 13. i'd be up at night when others wouldn't. and up until just now I thought it was just insomnia. well sometimes i...
mary. light up your cookies.
and no 'cookies' isn't a euphanism for anything. [I don't recommend lighting cookies btw. like, w/ a light.er. as a non practicing stoner I refer to lighters as 'lights']. Ok so on the news rec...
i'm back
yeah so i'm back from my overnight.
so in other news. i went home the other wk.
yeah since I left my place back in May I've only been home twice. since again my mom's isn't home and never has been. oh and my place is. So in Nov. I went back to my place. And then a few wks...
alrite universe. i'm ready.
so in other. irrelevant news. signs. Um so. ever since I met Evan 2 yrs. ago this June [it must've been June cause there were roses growing outside of the bar] [and then we didn't see each othe...
yeah so Karlye
since I mentioned her in a recent prior entry. She. was a friend of mine in elementary school. she was beautiful oh god so pretty. and nice and a good person. She was also the 1st person to emo...
As put. This is a delayed entry. So. I had sex. last yr. er, kindof. [I know how can you 'kindof' have sex? you either did or you didn't]. ok fine lol. So I almost did. completely consensual, ...
yeah. there's a lot going on.
To answer a recent noter's q. um. I'm recovering from the Karlye thing. [ok so back in Sept. I found out that my friend Karlye had. well um she's not w/ us anymore. ..............and i'm 9 yrs. ...
something happened i, think. something not good in my world.
well actually something did happen i'm just not sure if it's bc of what happened that I've been feeling this way. um. [btw. no I wasn't sexually traumatised again]. um. I've been scared. like m...
time to say goodbye
yeah so i'd typed up most of this entry about 2 hrs. ago [3 a.m. atm] and then my computer shut down and deleted it. so. So this is something I've A: been avoiding writing/thinking about and 2: ...
and in case i don't see ya
yeah so Sun. night to Mon. I'm overnighting at a host home provider's house. I probably won't have my computer w/ me and my phone doesn't have internet activated on it, so. if you don't hear fro...
um so it's Venus. and the v monologues. and singles. and emilie autumn.
Yeah so like I put it's Venus. and it's Valentine's Day so that's fitting. Yesterday was Mars. no i'm not being weird it has to do w/ the days of the week. It's also the 15th? ann. of eve ensler...
Thank you. <3
so. the mirror's fuked.
I don't like mirrors. which has nothing to do w/ my ED. no I just don't like big upright reflections. No but uh. the mirror in my bathroom at my mom's is a shelf divided into 2. cause like there...
First off, thank you for taking the time to leave those notes. Secondly, that's what I would've told someone if the situation were reversed and I saw an entry like that. like 'hey i'm here good ...
right so as put. and the reason. I thinkfeel I don't deserve anything is bc. I put people through hell. I've put my ex through hell w/ my drinking I've put my parents through hell w/ how tenacio...
ya know. I find myself thinking that lately. like whenever I can feel my bones or i'm dizzy or something. 'it shouldn't be like this' [bc a: i'm 26 *amn yrs old and I shouldn't have this fatal di...
yeah so the night terrors are back. for the first time in like ever.
so as put. yeah yesterday morning [by which I mean after 1 a.m. since it's called midnight for a reason. ok] they came back. for the first time in like forever. well this is new. for the past ...
the concept of self desctuction
So self destruction is interesting. I'm the kindof person who holds back. People who don't bother me. [well it's nott so much the people as the fact that they don't]. I'm just not that comfort...
correction regarding my abortion story entry
So I re-read the chapter that has the bit in it about abortion - actually it's 2 chapters - in a fanfic i'm writing. and it's not dark. the chapters before it deal with abuse and drinking. I do...
abortion. story
I've never been pregnant and I've never had an abortion. Um so earlier I wrote a chapter about abortion as part of a fanfic [cause I said I write fanfic] i'm writing. well it's also about drinki...
shirley temple, maureen o'hara and haven't slept
Yeah so Shirley Temple passed. well she was 85, so. it's not a tragedy. she was an ambassador of some sort I think. seemed like a good person. Meanwhile Maureen O'Hara's still w/ us. yeah so I...
yeah so. um. creep, radiohead.
um so. on FB this guy Douglas basically. um. exploded. I wouldn’t call him a friend he’s more of one of those ‘people I know’/’bar regulars’. no he’s a nice guy. so evidently at the bar recently ...
an occassional dream
well, again. they're all occasional. thank you david bowie. [no I love bowie. big fan]. um but yeah. for the past month or so I've been having these vivid dreams. that actually don't terrify me...
