Entries 307
Page 10 of 13
though I also have those. they're not big. they're not most people's. but I have them. or, at least things I want to do more of. like play guitar. i'm really like. excited about this. not that ...
that's from 'roseanne' remember that show? I don't like her but I liked the show. er. minimalistic is probably the better word. I've been thinking about this recently, in regards to the whole. ...
motivation, fear and uhm. openness.
Yeah sso another thing I remember about Tues. a.m. when he called is telling him 'sometimes fear's a great motivator'. I don't remember his reponse. but it's like I hope to god you do the right t...
yeah so i'm out of it right now due to my ED and. stuff. Ok so now I have survivor guilt as well as 'normal guilt'. er I mean the other kindof guilt. Evan's still here far as I know. I texted h...
um so here's what happened far as I know. *evan* *E*
Yeah so um. fuk it's been a taxing.........uh...........almost day and a half. So last........night between 5 and 6 Evan phones and says he's having a health crisis and he's going [in]to the hos...
ok everyone so I have news. *evan*
So he phoned me today and he's. he's here. not sure how ok he is but he's here.
so I have news. and it's not good. *evan*
I haven't heard anything official since his mom hasn't called me. [again yet]. But I think that Evan um. he left. as in, he ............oh god. he physically left.us. [ok so to clarify: he's no...
jekyll hyde gemini both *evan*
yeah so he. evan I mean. makes [or he did when we were actually talking and he wasn't distracted/spiking out] me feel cared about. like his queen. like he will literally stay by my side while I r...
um. trust SA evan thing.
um so yeah [what a great way to begin an entry]. so...........wow. being cheated on is not a good feeling. no. I don't like that plan [I was last yr. btw]. I want to trust him [sorry. 'him' bei...
rebounding trust SA and um. something.
Ya know ok so. in dec. of last yr [2012 that 'yr'. again my yr is the school/tv yr not the actual yr] I was again sexually traumatised. in Feb. my ex and I broke up. in March Sage passed. And ...
he saved me and yet i. don't trust him. *evan/relationships*
yeah so um. for those uninformed [which I think is most everyone who reads tthis. I don't talk about it much] almost a yr ago I. lost my battle w/ anorexia. and then I came back. Evan was ther...
Fear, in general
I think that. Fear is a good response to some situations I think that it's a necessary response and an understandable one. um. well that's really it.
fear, again. and karlye. and overcompensating.
um. So since karlye went the way she did i'm afraid. well which I was before. of losing my friends. um. I guess i'm afraid that when something happens to a friend, i.e. a breakup they'll be so d...
not everyone gets another chance at life.
not everyone's that lucky. But I was. I got another chance last May. and I've gotten another.....and another.........and so on they. just weren't as bad as the one in May. yeah um. I don't reme...
he's not the only one who needs clarity
This new format is really damn annoying I don't like it at all. it used to be you'd have the page and at the top was like. the font bar thingy [I have no idea what it's actually called] and then ...
so yeah. more on this. Ya know. last yr. - March actually - when evan and I started hanging out again. sure he was ranty and upset and emotional [well I mean who wouldn't be? his, our, best frie...
yeah so Evan news.
um well he's here, a. he finally got at me after 2.5 months of not. on the 27th. and ya know. I wasn't super excited about it like usual. like yeah it was nice esp. cause I'd been so worried and ...
well ef. yeah ptsd. and evidency.
'evidency' that a word? idk i'm tired. I probably meant 'efidence'. evidence*. damnit. sorry ok. i'ma start over: my ptsd's become more evident. yeah. there we go. um so. I've started having ...
yeah so relapses suck.
nothing new there. Clearly as evidenced by the title I've relapsed. yet again. [I'm referring to anorexia btw]. in response to 'the Karlye thing'. and also. all my other excuses/reasons for no...
um Karlye was. a friend of mine in elementary school who .......... 10 yrs. ago this coming Oct. [Oct. 2014 that is] ..........left, of her own accord. she did it in a reform school place. li...
So, Pat. ready to talk about it.
So, Pat aka Sage was my best friend who passed last March from a brain aneurism. no one knew. He was in his 40's. It took me about. a yr. to talk about it w/ someone other than his friends, fami...
still here
sorry I've not been on much recently. I moved 3 wks. ago and we didn't have internet at the house until yesterday [Tues]., so. but yeah. i'm still here. <3
moving day
Yeah so as put. it's moving day.
yeah so the superbowl
yeah I know. i'm centuries late to the party. um the superbowl. wasn't v. good. I liked the commercials better than the actual game. and the halftime performance. Bruno Mars is really talented.
still here. been lurking and MIA, sorry.
Hi so i'm sill here. I've been packing which i'm near done w/. i'm moving Tues. I haven't gone anywhere in days. I sleep all damn day. my parents have pretty much given up. my mom's like 'well ...
