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I quickly checked my last year’s entries. About this time was the first big snows Portland area had, with quite a few snow days off. It was when i was really falling for Ian. I took a day off and...

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When I have shared with you what i need and who i am in this relationship, what i hear is that it is not enough or is somehow wrong (with words like “right now you are unwilling to [share more of...

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Last night I told Clay that i was going to be and hour + late for the half day Buddhism class we are both taking this upcoming Saturday. His response was “that’s ok” This raised my hackles (which...

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finding the time to write has been hard, as well as feeling like i actually want to write. So, here i am, five minutes before the end of my prep period, writing. Tomorrow i am going to the second...

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i have an entry brewing, but life has been so busy that it may come in spurts. First off, i started taking adderoll for ADD symptoms (possibly). It’s something i’ve suspected for years, my mind i...

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Lately my spirit has had a more tentative connection with my physical body than usual. Acupuncture, tantra workshop, my first Buddhist meeting, meditation even… all of these have been putting me ...

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All week i knew it was a detailed dream week, but i kept being woken from sleep (warm nights with the french doors wide open). Finally Friday night i dreamed with much detail, even though much of...

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Its been a summah. Today is the first teaching day with kids. It was good. Hectic. Some stressors. Some delights. For some reason i thought i might have the time to write over the summer, but a...

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I am going to attempt a voice text here. I seem to have broken my Wi-Fi. I am so, so sad. Feel heartbroken, heavy weights. I’m not sure why. It’s always been very very difficult for me when oth...

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i feel the weight. why do i take this on? “tears like rain can’t believe I have to say goodbye to you you have meant so much to me in such a short time now there is a hole to mend”

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An email sent to me last night at 12:30 am, after a really nice date: “Dear one, hello, thank you for the most beautiful evening in many years. You may very well be the most beautiful woman I’ve...

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I bought a digital download of an album i’d flirted with on youtube Cigarettes after Sex’s song, Apocolypse

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aka, i kissed three boys I’ve been gone for two weeks. Although its been the beginning of my summer, it didn’t quite feel like summer until i came back to Portland. School ended June 23rd and i a...

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It’s been a while. Not for one reason or another, i just haven’t had the will to write. My title is inspired by a little workshop i took over the weekend at a 4 day solstice gathering out in the ...

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I don’t know the title of this entry yet. Lately i’ve been focused on finishing projects. I completed two knitting projects- a lace shawl made with a cashmere wool blend, and a two color cowl th...

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I will tell a story sometime soon.

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Last night i put in a mixed cd from years ago, “Mix me a Cure,” a mix of different songs by The Cure (oh-so-clevah!). I’ve thought about writing for a while now. This morning might be the first t...

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In behavioral theory (which i know some of because i am a special education teacher), you learn that kids have behaviors (not necessarily bad things, it could be anything) have two motivations: w...

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I’m trying something new, this entry is purely verbal – recorded from my phone. I started reading a book by an author I have been wanting to read for a while, her name is Brene Brown. You may ha...

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I was asked a good question here on PB. I’ve mulled it about a little bit, but not fully immersed myself. “What would be your ideal ‘arrangement/relationship’ with Ian?” My answer was “I don’t kn...

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Not the type of retreat where you back down, but the kind where you escape for a few days of solitude, yoga, meditation, and tech free relaxing. I am considering whether i had a big important tak...

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I spiraled, trying to figure out whether i qualify for teacher student loan forgiveness. Everyone i spoke to was nice, but they couldn’t really answer my questions. Here’s the lowdown: To qualify...

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”When the mind’s activity is stilled, we see life as it is.” I read a book last month, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. It was the beginning of perhaps a “growth spurt” i...

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I am going to talk about the ease (Jamie), as i was musing on it yesterday, but i also want to get into the therapy work i have been a part of in regards to intimate relationships (Ian). Plus a l...

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I forgot to talk about a really creepy dream i had last night. I think i have all of the parts, but i am not sure i will get them organized the way in which they unfolded. I am with my sister (my...

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