Entries 445
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material girl
Leaving the Starbucks drive-thru with one of my favorite drinks, listening to a good song really loud and driving my VW Beetle on a gorgeous, spring day. I can’t think of anything more satisfying...
rest
The doctor I reported to died last week. He had cancer. I still don’t feel like it’s real. He had the kindest soul. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. His three sons, his wife. A...
31
I’ve revolved around the sun 31 times today. That’s starting to be quite a few times. I’m further along into a new decade. I feel some things coming into place, but still so much is unknown to m...
unfolding
8 (I think) long months later This is what I think healthy looks like: You communicate. “I’m a space and time person.” “I know I’m getting there.” I listen, I respect. I communicate. You listen,...
On single parenthood
I was reflecting on single parenthood earlier today. I’ve been a single parent a couple of different times; this time I’ve been doing it for a little over a year. I am fortunate in that I have tw...
A good cup of tea
The second vaccine was much easier than the first one. I’m not sure what the possible explanations are for that, but I’m grateful all the same. I’ve been thinking. As usual. I have been learning ...
neutral
Everything is just chemical reactions. My brain doesn’t seem to have the correct calibration for being in this world of such stimuli. I wait and wait. But it never changes. Every now and then wh...
vaccine (1)
My arm is so sore, I can’t lift it. Hurts bad. Took ibuprofen. Temp elevated. Thank you, immune system, for doing your job adequately. Vaccine 2 is scheduled just in time for Valentine’s Day. Fi...
manifest:
since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; – e.e. cummings I have spent most of the last year in controlled solitude, building stability, cr...
direction
A couple of weeks ago I gave up on a dream. My therapist led me to a realization today (as she usually does): not doing your dream is not about a lack of capability or focus. Some things are just...
0 unread e-mails
Working from home today. I started taking medication for hypertension last week. I’m relatively young, thin, I exercise, I eat okay, I rarely drink, I journal. My life is busy, but not as stressf...
introspection
I think I’d be worn through either way, pandemic or not. I talk about it like a line out of my social playbook. A way to connect myself to other people, like a grid map of phone lines and operato...
values
Things have been less chaotic recently, and I’ve actually been able to leave work at the time I’m supposed to. That’s not to say that I’m still always evaluating my surroundings and how that alig...
I guess it's time for an update...
I don’t write here much anymore. I have a difficult time trusting these journal sites. Recently… – I started a new job. I like it a lot. I’ve learned some new things, and will continue to. I’m ge...
good thing
You know when I wrote about how I was frustrated with people commenting on my body? It must have worked on the universe because I’ve heard “you look great” a lot instead, which is a good change. ...
5/8
Maeve is one month, three days old! I can hardly believe it! The past month has been really great. My husband was home with me and the baby for four weeks. He’s so good with her! He gets less sle...
4/26
I’m done with grad school!
4/25
Just a quick entry – I’m taking a break from writing my last paper for graduate school… I wish it was over. I’m only about halfway through it. Ugh. I just feel so done. Maeve is doing well! She’s...
Sigh
Can people refrain from commenting on my body? It gets really annoying. Before having kids it happened. During pregnancy it happened. After pregnancy it keeps happening. Just stop. It’s also get...
4/19
I started writing in a paper journal that my husband got me for Christmas. I think it was a hint that I need to do something meaningful for myself. The entries are much different from my online j...
4/11
I don’t know how to rest after having a baby. I keep feeling okay, then doing too much, then getting achey again. I forget that my body just went through a physical trial and I need to give it a ...
3/14
I received an unofficial offer for that job I applied and interviewed for! I’m calling the director soon to iron out details, so we’ll see. She didn’t say anything more than that yet. I asked the...
3/12
Friday (the 9th) was my birthday. I’m 28 now. How am I this close to 30?! We only have two years left to plan the trip! My twin and I want to take a fun trip for our 30th birthday and we were thi...
interview
It’s funny how I was boo-hooing about “omg how will I find a job” and I landed myself an interview for next week, the day before my birthday. The kicker is that I’m almost 9 months pregnant. I so...
2/22
My 23andme results came back. I always thought my sister and I were most likely fraternal twins, but we’re actually identical twins! That’s so neat! Our kids are cousins and genetically half-sibl...
