Hello everybody!

My name is Michiel Adriaan Potgieter, quite a mouthful, so just call me Adriaan or simply AD.
I am a 20-something year old from Cape Town South Africa who has up to this point led a bit of a different life and experienced a bit more than my peers. I work as a pattisier and baker at an upmarket new Bistro/Bakery and I am very passionate about my work. The pastry and baking field, all of it’s little technicalities, details, scientific reactions and artistic expression keeps me fascinated and happy, even during the darkest of times.

I have led a bit of a rough life so far, suffering from severe social and general anxiety disorder, severe recurring depression syndrome, obsessive compulsive syndrome and body dysmorphia and having been on a lovely cocktail of medications since the age of 9 has caused me some trouble and heartache. That, combined with less than pleasurable events and environments, have made things very difficult for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to look for anyone’s pity, I have had my fair share of that, but I wish I could just make people understand that there is a difference between someone saying “Ugh, I feel so depressed today.” and somebody like me and I really hate it when people see me as inferior because of it and that whole “If you say you’re depressed, then you will be depressed.” or “Just snap out of it!” nonsense just drives me up the wall. I wouldn’t have spent a small fortune over the years on psychiatrists, psychologists, medications and doctors if it was that easy. But anyway, enough of that.

I am a very loving and caring person, but I am very shy. Some days, just walking down the street is a challenge for me and I feel that the ground would just open up and swallow me in. I always feel inferior to, inadequate and “less than” other people, especially people my age. I have a very poor self image and little to no self-confidence. Pretty much all my sources of confidence throughout the years have been external. You see, I was extremely overweight as a young kid as I started comfort eating at the time my parents divorced. That combined with being surrounded with an abusive older brother, who would eventually become a psychotic, schizophrenic, prostituting crystal meth addict, as well as the teasing that came along with that pretty much ruined any real confidence I had. I then switched around completely and started intense and hardcore bodybuilding, clean eating and obsessing over my body. I was looking great, but still feeling like crap, but hey, I was receiving attention and affection, so I did that for a bunch of years until I completely burnt out. Now I am trying to live in between this black and white thinking, in the grey areas.

I am what you might call a loner. I don’t mind my own company and prefer it at times. As I said, I am a very loving and caring person who has a lot to give and I can be the kindest and most giving person in the world if I am able to feel safe enough to open up to you, but I can also be one of the biggest a**holes that you have ever met if I feel that you do not respect me and my loved ones.

But not everything is all doom and gloom… I have a very wacky and witty sense of humour and I love to mess around with those I am close to, crack jokes and just have good old, plain fun. I absolutely LOVE professional wrestling and have loved it since the age of 5. I don’t know if it serves as an escape or if I’m just a sucker for it, but my God I love it. I also love stand up comedy, mostly British stuff like Rob Bryden, David Mitchell, Stephen Fry, Allan Davies, Jack Whitehall etc.
So basically, the things that you can look forward to seeing from my “journal” are the following :

1. Lots of pictures of all my pastry and baking creations.
2. Regular updates on my life (the good and the bad).
3. Lots of witty and quirky jokes.
4. Potential rants.
5. Wrestling nonsense.
6. Stories from my past.

So feel free to join me as I ramble on about my life and make lots of, at times, inappropriate jokes as an attempt at receiving affection. So if you don’t think I am absolutely batsh*t crazy and want nothing to do with me, then welcome to my world…

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day.
Adriaan