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My Musings

by edteesoy

Entries 198

Page 7 of 8

March 28, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 11

Sleep last night was horrible again. I was only able to get 5 straight hours of sleep and took me about another hour (or an hour and a half) to squeeze in that elusive 6th hour. Thankfully, there...


March 27, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 10

Sleep was slightly better last night. I had a solid 6 hours of straight sleep, then it was all tossing & turning until I got another hour. Won’t say it’s my best, but it’s somewhat of an impr...


March 26, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 9

Another instance of not sleeping well the night prior. It’s been.. about 3 consecutive evenings and I worry the trend would continue. I’ve also had a mini-episode of a panic attack. I hope the in...


March 25, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 8

I didn’t sleep well last night again. After getting about 5 hours straight of sleep, I kept dozing off and waking up every hour or so until it was finally time for me to begin work. I do hope tha...


March 24, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 7

I slept poorly again last night; after going to bed at 1:30 am, I kept tossing and turning to the point that I had to take a 2nd dose of chamomile tea - finally got to sleep at 3 a.m. Despite the...


March 23, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 6

No other way to put it than saying today is the worst so far. I can only pray and hope that tomorrow will be better. Overall rating for the day: 1/10


March 22, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 5

Last night’s sleep was quite lengthy again, clocking ~9 hours. I dreamt of her again; we were in a group and discussing which restaurant to try, when I suggested that we go to this place that we ...


March 21, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 4

Last night’s sleep was the most decent so far; I think I was able to get about almost 9 hours’ worth. While today did not have (much) crying fits, a huge wave of anxiety and panic hit me again ju...


March 20, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 3

I dreamt about her last night. In said dream, we were both a bit younger, and I had the chance to introduce her to my colleagues. Then I had to wake up, bringing me back to reality. I also decide...


March 19, 2024

Gray (A Poem)

(1) I take a look outside With my eyes open wide Why do I feel this way Everything seems so gray (2) I try to comprehend And try hard to pretend That all of these make sense All the while feelin...


March 19, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 2

Today was pretty much the same as yesterday - multiple instances of crying, minimal appetite, and just not having the mood to do anything at all. I had to call out sick again, lest my work gets a...


March 18, 2024

In the Life Log - Day 1

Day 1 is always the hardest, they say, and it couldn’t be further from the truth in my case. I’ve been feeling so out of it after the past Sunday’s happenings (it’s already Tuesday, 12:55 a.m. as...


March 18, 2024

Wish (A Poem)

I didn’t realize almost a year had passed since my last entry. I’ll make it a point to post in here again, with the goal of being consistent. (1) It’s quite sunny out there Yet all I do is stare...


March 31, 2023

A Good Month

Despite the mood of yesterday’s entry, March was still a good month overall. I was able to gain further insight towards how others perceive me, and what necessary attitude adjustments I need to m...


March 30, 2023

Of Work and Attachment

While majority of my day was pretty decent, something in my mind snapped again. I’m not sure what the trigger is - could be my new colleagues, the slow pace / development, or a mixture of these a...


March 28, 2023

Dreaming

I have been dreaming everyday for the past few weeks or so; some of which make sense, while some don’t. What I find intriguing is this has never happened to me (at least to the extent my memory s...


March 27, 2023

A Quiet Day

Today was one of the more quiet shifts I had at work. Since I started my new job a month ago, my time was focused on meetings left and right, studying and contributing to the establishment of our...


March 23, 2023

Life Choices

We all have our paths to carve, and the consequences of which may vary, depending which it was borne out of. As I reflect on today’s writing cue, I take a look back on how I’ve lived my life so f...


March 22, 2023

The Ideal Life

I dream of a life that is rich, in all aspects of the word. Where the best healthcare is at an arm’s length, and getting sick is not a cause of worry. It wouldn’t cost an arm, a leg, or even both...


March 21, 2023

Locus of Control

To myself and Jen Today I shall be kind To others and my mind I shall not get annoyed Anger I shall avoid When things won’t go my way Positive words, I’d say To turn my frustrations Into affirmat...


A few weeks ago, my writing cue had to do with holding on to something that no longer serves me. I’ve mentioned my friendship with a person I’ve known since elementary, and my feelings surroundin...


What constitutes success? As I ponder on today’s writing cue, I cannot help contemplating yet again. It is multi-faceted, yes, but that makes it even the more complicated. So to answer the questi...


March 13, 2023

Greatest fear

I am afraid that I will be forgotten. Time does not spare anyone, after all; in due course, everything that once was will merely fade and just be a distant memory, if lucky. If I was not fearful,...


March 09, 2023

Gut Feel

Intuition is an irony. It is spontaneous and has very little logic, yet we let it take part in our decision making. As I reflect on today’s writing cue, I do not have the faintest of idea when an...


March 08, 2023

Peaks and Valleys

I was browsing Reddit yesterday when I came across the post “What screams that someone peaked in High School?”. I’m not sure if grateful is the correct word to use, given that I did not fall unde...


Book Description

A collection of my thoughts, however random they might be.