Entries 129

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I think I need to sleep more, my hallucinations are coming back in the tenfold. I just had one about my keyboard on my phone and I restarted it in a panic. I’m paraniod about my bf, I’m scared he...

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I’m writing this because I feel like it’s time. This diary I want my daughter to read when I’m old enough to have one and maybe she’ll understand why her mother is understandable. I had a thirty ...

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I don’t know if I trust my mom anymore or if I ever did. Sure, I get along with her but I don’t really trust her now. She acts as if I’m always mad or this bad, rude person. I’m not. This is why ...

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Since they diary I’ve made many friends. And I’ve lost many of them. I started to wonder if I’m the problem and reason why but I can’t find anyway to prove that. If so it must be my personality, ...

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I’m so angry I don’t know know why I’m just so so angry. I’m crying I’m so angry. I want to just scribble on paper until I can’t stop. I feel my insides boiling and I just want to kick and scream...

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Emi left. And I tried to DM him today only to remember her left. John doesn’t want to do anything anymore and since that’s the only way we talked we’re never talking anymore I guess. Lili’s alter...

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I was never meant to be a good person. I was never meant to be happy. I get that now. I’m tired of trying and then all my work is thrown in my face. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I feel more ...

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There’s bad people in the world and today kinda proved to me how bad you try, you will be seen as a bad person. It will make you rot and went to tear yourself apart from the inside, you’ll want t...

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Wolfie was nice today, he sent me some nice messages. I regret my crush I had on him so much, I only told him to help not make our friendship uncomfortable. He’s twenty three and I’d never date a...

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So. Yeah life’s been sicky. I’ve been trying to talk to John, Lili or Kayden about stuff. But I pretty much gave up. I just. Gave up for a good reason, just trust me on this. Something happened y...

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Guess who has the flu! Anyway, today I ate lots of food. Because I’m excited because I learned my weight at the doctor’s Thursday. They where checking my measurements and turns out I’m actually ...

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A friend deleted a comment i made in public on their account, saying I’d cause them trouble at school… This is why I prefer stuffed animals. They’re never ashamed of you. Or yell at you. Or get d...

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Today… I’ve wondered if writing journals is really worth it in the end. I’ve been doing this for nearly a year now and it’s sad to see how much has gone wrong. However, many things have gone righ...

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I tried everything guys. I didn’t do anything to drive him away. I tried so bad. And he…he…lied. I saw in a server with my own eyes last week he talked about how he wasn’t over his ex, how the en...

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I don’t know if I want to write the mess that happened mid afternoon. I’ll write it tommorow or later tonight. Quite a mess indeed. Anyway, my boyfriend has been such a cutie recently. A adorable...

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So far my day has been good, besides a horrific nightmare/sleep paralysis experience this morning. It shook me to the core as I couldn’t move stalk for a few minutes, I barely slept for like two...

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So Emi and I made up. He seems healthier, he got himself a partner seventeen days ago(?) and he just seems more happy! I’m really happy for him. <3 Anyway, life’s been hectic I’m unsure. If I ...

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I know you can see this. And I don’t regret saying i wished i never met you. Because I don’t, you treated me… like…like I was your property.

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Last night my friend did want to fuck me. But it was a girl this time. Anyway, I found myself not being scared by what she was texting because a) she was a girl b) she isn’t like that despite fac...

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I’m well aware of the fact i give to many chsnces. I know. I try to be very open and kind. But it does backfire. And it does open yourself to uncomfortable situations…

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For nearly a month it’s worsened and worsened. I feel empty, I’m trying my best

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I’ve been trying so hard. And I keep trying to. But it never is enough. It never is.

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I didn’t think Will, would do that. I honestly hope I’m wrong. But if I’m not…I can’t believe it. Did he think I’d leave Isaac for him? Hell no. In my anger at thinking Isaac cheated I said I’d ...

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I’m tired. Today was a exhausting day, I ate cheeseballs and pizza and potato wedges and drank orange juice and water. Good. I feel sick and hurt but it’s okay. Just gotta keep working on these r...

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I don’t want him to die. He had begun starving himself in my absent. I hate myself, for thinking breaking off our friendship would serve him well. Life was better for him even though he was dying...

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