Entries 129

Page 4 of 6

Sometimes I just sit and cry.

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Hey. Abandonment life. Kayden abandoned me. Ben…yeah. Single life to. I’ll explain in a later entry the breakup but today we have to focus on my health. I ate a lot.todsy. couldn’t finish dinner....

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I feel really really bad :( Everyday, I feel weaker now. My chest hurts really bad, my legs ache to the point they feel useless and I can barely stay awake. I’m trying to eat more than snacking ...

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I just ate a bowl of half cooked, pre cooked chicken nuggets. I am supposed to be watching a movie with Calin and others but it wouldnt load for me. I dont wanna ruin the movie so I’m being quiet...

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So, my YouTube channel is getting a lot buzz. I’m honestly shocked that people wre noticing it and I’m feeling self conscious. I wonder if I take a break but then requests are coming in soooo fas...

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I washed and combed my hair today. My mom said I did good. Today was good, still had its ups and downs. I dont want to talk about the downs.

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Sorry for not writing more I just have t had the time. Same old heartbreak from friends and relationships happening. I’ve been fighting a mean cold to. I just dont want to lose Calin. We’re on a ...

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I feel dead inside. Just have to keep the smile up.

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I wrote this to Kayden about Lili, I still dont think I’ll ever get my pain across until I break free from it all. Okay I’m tired of feeling bad so imma say this: was me banning lili petty? Maybe...

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Written April fifth 2019 I feel like I’m burdening so many people. Yesterday, my friend Dray finally messaged me. I was really happy as we have none each other for a while, for 5 years almost. I...

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Its my bday and itz gone well…just I fobt know.... I feel like I’m a burden idk why Everyone’s so and want to care for me…I feel like dirt…going to my happy place more I cant wait to just be gon...

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So my school closed for a few weeks a week ago and some change due to the virus. I’ve been home, lounging around leaving to only go to the store and such. I’ve been bored as heck honestly. Watch...

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Calin is such strange boy. A strange boy, I have. I cant help but wonder what had happened if instead of the others, i found Calin instead. What would have happened if i had been asked out by him...

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I feel hurt. I love kayden but I’m a burden to him. My mind is making it clear. I’ve had nightmares regarding our friendship and how much I’ve tainted it. I need to be a good person and leave him...

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Can’t think of any title. SATs tommorow. Nervous as always. Menstrual cycle started. Didn’t puke this time. Just had to pee. I’m in bed, thinking of Linka. He’s an amazing boyfriend. Amazing per...

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What’s been happening 1) another creep using me and attempting to manipulate me in a weak state. 2) incoming SATs this wendsday. 3) set up my senior classes, taking four classes and only three ma...

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Adding on to the previous entry, I think Kayden’s annoyed with me. So is Wolfie. And Fairy. Everyone is annoyed with me…even Linka :(

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I think I’m pushing Kayden away

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Crying

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Fairyfriend is so perfect, Linky must have told her so much about his life. Lily is perfect to, Kayden tell me all the time. Joy’s just as perfect as the both of them… I feel so jealous....why ca...

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I feel sicker than when I had the flu… probably from crying so much… God…I just want to lay down and hife

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Another bad day and it’s barely even started…barely slept…spent a lot of the time coughing or crying my eyes out.....

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boyfriend doesn’t get it about my mom I won’t mention it anymore

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I feel like I’m all alone in the cold

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I need to write, I feel like I might pass out. I’m very tired mentally and physically, I feel emotionally drained. I just want to do my boyfriend right....but I’m not and I feel like I’m losing h...

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