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I just needed to vent for a bit. I randomly started crying and I don’t know why. I just feel sad, beat down, destroyed. I’ll probably do a long update soon with a summary of the past month and a ...

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So, over the past months I would get private comments criticizing my actions. This would bother me a lot, but I tried to bury it down deep and try to push it aside. These things hurt, they hurt r...

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I dont want to write anymore publicly, everyone probably thinks I’m dirty. I don’t like sex I never have. But everyone probably thinks reading this I’m some whore, so does Kelly probably. I don...

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Is that what it looks like? I never thought that…everyone must find me so disgusting....

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My chest hurts really bad. I don’t want to have sex with Kelly. Or anyone. But then they’ll be upset, I’ve been crying nonstop and my chest hurts so much. I don’t want to lose it, the last pure p...

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Day and night ut hurts. I am hurting and everyone ignores me, even Kelly. I feel worthlsss. I wish....idk…I’m just full of rage, sadness and rage. It hurts to breathe I’m so upset

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They are my friends and I love them very much. Bunny is my bff, she’s smart and cute and I love to imagine myself holding her close. Boolie is very nice too! He’s in college and treats me well an...

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I thought kelly message today…

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I feel bad I said something mean to Kelly, I just wanted to sound romantic and maybe idk attention. But they where scared and I felt bad…i feel bad…i started to cry a little bit a go but i covere...

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I have my bunny, miles with me. I feel tired…I wanted to talk to Kelly today but it’s okay, I’m not scared. I feel tired, mom’s making me sleep in her room as there’s possibly mold in mine and we...

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You think about it and it works out better than planned. When I give people the journal I hope , I think they will get it and it never happens. Sometimes I dont think they even read it or care ab...

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That high is down and I feel miserable again.

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I sent John the journals, these journals. I’ve wanted to for so long and I’ve been so angry at EVERYONE I can’t take it anymore. I sent him Journal 19, it’s honestly the worse. And this journal ...

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Mom noticed the scars, I felt ugly. I…I don’t like my privates. It’s weird to describe but I just don’t like them. They are so…them. and I feel uncomfortable when yeah nvm.

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I just feel depressed honestly About calin. About john. About ali. About July 16th 2019. Senior yeqr. Evrrythibg. I’m so str3ss3d

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I talked to Lynxee today and I felt horrible with how I sounded. He said he would make more time for me but he shouldn’t and I feel awful. Really awful. He’s my friend and I depend on him too muc...

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Lonely day of not feeling to well. Work work work. Did my first ever collab video and I am sooo happy with the results of it.

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I’m upset. ANS was a kpop girl group that I love, I wasn’t in love with them or obsessed, I don’t even know all the members names. But they where talented and had some bangers and deserves better...

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Another day of being ignored by friends. I don’t know why I even try, seriously I cause myself more harm then good. I just gotta continue with me i guess. I could honestly manifest more friends,...

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Now their even sadder and it’s all my fault. I shouldnt have even said anything. I feel bad. And I feel the overwhelming feelings starting where it’s hard to talk and I just want to hide. I’m a b...

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I cant sleep. I’m to wound up about my weight. I’m stressed about it. And I feel bad because my partner felt bad. But I feel ugly now and insecure. I talked to Jason and he was trying to cheer ...

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They are at a sleepover. At first I felt a bit lonely but then I realized the entire time they probably missed me and I felt better.

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My friend talked to me about it. I don’t think a therapist would understand. I’m dirty. Inside and out. It’s like poison and it’s like fat. It’s like a phantom limb were you’re constantly fearful...

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I think I’m finally hitting that weird point that I saw a lot of people hit. It was like people suddenly became really unstable and cold and mean. I keep finding myself thinking…why do I care abo...

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I’m chubby apparently I failed I wasnt.chubby when I was dieting I’m chubby now It’s just a nice way to say fat, obese I felt like vomiting after learning I’m chubby and.im.so angry at myself. ...

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