Public

Journal 2020

by HoniBunnyCakey

Entries 129

Page 1 of 6

December 29, 2020

Crush

I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...


December 28, 2020

Hurt

He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...


December 28, 2020

Yesterday.

Tiring


December 27, 2020

Today.

I woke from crying in my sleep from nightmares and now I just feel exhausted but to scared to sleep. Yesterday was hell.


December 26, 2020

Christmas together...

I guess I wanted to talk to him…its stupid


December 25, 2020

Holidays

I honestly dont like or care for them anymore. I feel defeated and empty.


December 23, 2020

anniversary

I wrote him a letter as gift. It was stupid gift and he has better things to do then read a stupid letter. With tons of more pretty girls to look at…I saw another today and just curled up in bed ...


December 22, 2020

ANNIVERSARY

blows confetti blower today’s the day today’s the day. It’s our one month anniversary ^*^ I have to start on his gift I’m so excited and happy and ahhhhhh.


December 21, 2020

Update

The anticipation of a message is killing me. It’s almost time for our anniversary, one month. I reread our messages over and over analyzing everything I could. I hope he messages today, I won’t ...


December 21, 2020

Hearrt

I woke up today, like yesterday feeling sick and exhausted. But happy at first because maybe he messaged me! But he didn’t…I can wait though. My face was hurting because I smiling so hard at the ...


December 21, 2020

The night before

I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with. But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to...


December 20, 2020

Thoughts

Applied to Penn State today, it feels like a dream I cried during my personal statement…anyway so happy I have been offered a merit scholarship by my first at hood college ^^ Also it’s almost tim...


December 20, 2020

Update

So much happened this week ;-; I argued with so many random people.


December 17, 2020

Gifts

Is it weird to try and write poetry for xmas gifts? Idk…I want to write him love poems, ballads???? But I can’t sing…


December 15, 2020

Sad

I feel exhausted and sad. I just want to be happy again with everyone and have a good life. But it’s always my fault…I just…want to end it.


December 12, 2020

Day

I woke up dizzy today, nauseated. If I went to the hospital would anybody visit me? I don’t know. I have issues with my paycheck so we have to get it checked out today when I go to work. I just w...


December 11, 2020

Update

I wish he would just answer my messages. I feel bad. I felt scared yesterday and now I feel sick.


December 11, 2020

Update

I mean he’s so cute…idk I feel like I’m to ugly for him ;-;


December 03, 2020

Update

Their fine but I just feel done.


December 02, 2020

Update

I had someone say today they thought that I hated them and that they had tried to kill themselves, it felt hinted like it was my fault. I couldn’t…I just cried Ben crying but I couldn’t even spea...


November 05, 2020

Sadness

I was on reddit and I saw a post about a article. A woman was angry about Christmas gifts she had gotten. She suffered from depression and ranted about everything she had gotten and how it had hu...


November 05, 2020

I hate everyone.

Title


October 31, 2020

I disappear

I’m really tired while I right this on halloween night. It’s been boring and anxiety ridden but who cares. I just want to sleep peacefully without worry.


October 27, 2020

Hatred

I have to keep hating them. I’ll never forgive them no matter how sorry they feel. I keep feeling like saying stop and forgiving them but I’m wrong. I just can’t. I hate them. I hate them so much...


October 27, 2020

Hide

I just want to go away. I closed my eyes and drifted away. I felt my chest tighten and everything. I want to go away. I want to go away. I need to. I run away mentally and I just want to go.


Book Description

My diary from 2020 to 2021