Journal 2020
by HoniBunnyCakey
Entries 129
Page 1 of 6
Crush
I want him to notice me I’ve been busy but today it came back. The feelings, they hurt me. I wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. I wish we could have normal conversations. He didn’t e...
Hurt
He didnt want the gift. It was a horrible gift anyway who wants a letter for a gift. I cut myself off from any other mental health server owner, after what the few did I dont trust any of the oth...
Yesterday.
Tiring
Today.
I woke from crying in my sleep from nightmares and now I just feel exhausted but to scared to sleep. Yesterday was hell.
Christmas together...
I guess I wanted to talk to him…its stupid
Holidays
I honestly dont like or care for them anymore. I feel defeated and empty.
anniversary
I wrote him a letter as gift. It was stupid gift and he has better things to do then read a stupid letter. With tons of more pretty girls to look at…I saw another today and just curled up in bed ...
ANNIVERSARY
blows confetti blower today’s the day today’s the day. It’s our one month anniversary ^*^ I have to start on his gift I’m so excited and happy and ahhhhhh.
Update
The anticipation of a message is killing me. It’s almost time for our anniversary, one month. I reread our messages over and over analyzing everything I could. I hope he messages today, I won’t ...
Hearrt
I woke up today, like yesterday feeling sick and exhausted. But happy at first because maybe he messaged me! But he didn’t…I can wait though. My face was hurting because I smiling so hard at the ...
The night before
I woke up today feeling dead. It’s like your entire body and mind hurts, it was really hard to deal with. But god fucking damnit I felt so happy! Everything had worked out and I’m never going to...
Thoughts
Applied to Penn State today, it feels like a dream I cried during my personal statement…anyway so happy I have been offered a merit scholarship by my first at hood college ^^ Also it’s almost tim...
Update
So much happened this week ;-; I argued with so many random people.
Gifts
Is it weird to try and write poetry for xmas gifts? Idk…I want to write him love poems, ballads???? But I can’t sing…
Sad
I feel exhausted and sad. I just want to be happy again with everyone and have a good life. But it’s always my fault…I just…want to end it.
Day
I woke up dizzy today, nauseated. If I went to the hospital would anybody visit me? I don’t know. I have issues with my paycheck so we have to get it checked out today when I go to work. I just w...
Update
I wish he would just answer my messages. I feel bad. I felt scared yesterday and now I feel sick.
Update
I mean he’s so cute…idk I feel like I’m to ugly for him ;-;
Update
Their fine but I just feel done.
Update
I had someone say today they thought that I hated them and that they had tried to kill themselves, it felt hinted like it was my fault. I couldn’t…I just cried Ben crying but I couldn’t even spea...
Sadness
I was on reddit and I saw a post about a article. A woman was angry about Christmas gifts she had gotten. She suffered from depression and ranted about everything she had gotten and how it had hu...
I hate everyone.
Title
I disappear
I’m really tired while I right this on halloween night. It’s been boring and anxiety ridden but who cares. I just want to sleep peacefully without worry.
Hatred
I have to keep hating them. I’ll never forgive them no matter how sorry they feel. I keep feeling like saying stop and forgiving them but I’m wrong. I just can’t. I hate them. I hate them so much...
Hide
I just want to go away. I closed my eyes and drifted away. I felt my chest tighten and everything. I want to go away. I want to go away. I need to. I run away mentally and I just want to go.
Book Description
My diary from 2020 to 2021