Entries 376
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Typical
So… this is me having an emotional reaction before confirmation. A fairly typical response from me but also one of the reasons I can do my job (whether attorney or actor). Feel the emotions pri...
Emotional Scream: Twitter Sized
There is a County Government Leader in my office right now. This is one of the guys that directs our county. Has a position of power. Has influence. I WANT TO SCREAM AT HIM SO BADLY RIGHT NOW....
Add a score and more and more
I am now more convinced than ever that my nightmares may be me traversing the multiverse to see how other Christophers have fared. Is this the darkest timeline or are there worse timelines? I’l...
Statement
There have often been long periods of time where my notes on other people’s Prosebox die off; or my reading of other peoples’ material takes a hiatus. And everyone is always good about saying, “...
Dreams and Disasters
So… I don’t know what happened. On Sunday night, I went to bed around 10 or 11. I was cognizant enough to know exactly where I put everything (glasses, clothes, etc.) AND YET...... At some poin...
Much To Say
What I intend to write here may be one of the potentially most offensive things I’ve written this year. Then again, it may not. Just know that I go into writing this with that intent. Obviousl...
Last Night's Nightmares
Not as bad, per se. Mostly conversations I wish I could have. Me: so, what do I need to do to be worthy of sex? Nancy: I don’t get it. You mean, with me? Me: no. I don’t think we’ll ever hav...
Mourning Glory
Written on my phone: Today was weird and unexpected. For reasons beyond my understanding, today has actually been a day of personal mourning. I don’t get it. I have absolutely come to terms wi...
Suck
I haven’t had an alcoholic beverage in a week. Yet when I woke up… body pain and a massive headache that hasn’t left me all day. I’m working from home due to the pain. I’m sure my office think...
Title Chosen Randomly
Oooooooooootay. So last night. I got home around 5:00 and greeted an ecstatic puppy. She’s… not happy that I’m back at the office full time and coming home to her is again like coming home afte...
Running
Some more commentary edition: 10:45 Victoria just said she’d likely come over tonight. This is good. But as I have not showered, am worried about walking the dog, and don’t have anything cooked...
40
So… the conversation with Nancy: Some of it was expected, some of it wasn’t. Oddly, the parts that weren’t expected were parts that could have had a larger impact on me but for my emotional step...
Running Commentary
I’m going to do today as a bit of running commentary as I used to do things. Why? Because I felt like it. Got up this morning and… grump. Not grump about the day or anything but just… sleep. ...
Work Bits and Coming To Terms
June 15th, 2020. That is the day I will mark on the calendar for when our entire community decided that willpower mattered more than health sciences. First: I was running a little behind today...
Rhetorical and Romantic
Victoria got a hold of me yesterday. We were talking and she was encouraging me to be more open about “going forward.” COVID restrictions being a bitch; but not letting those prevent me from go...
Stages
A little story: I used to be a very angry person. Very angry. I would spend most of my energy on being angry. This was unhealthy, unpleasant, and undesirable. So I spent a great deal of time ...
On Nightmares
So, I’ve been having intense and worsening nightmares this entire month. So far 11 nights of nightmares. Really intense, mostly violent and humiliating and disturbing. None of which I wanted t...
Sign Up
I signed up for Better Help again. I’m… sick of the recurring nightmares that only seem to be getting worse. I’m sick of the lack of sleep. The loneliness. The trying to figure out why, appar...
On My Phone
I am writing this on my phone and I hate doing that but… damn, do I need to write. I mean… I honestly know what all of you are going to say. Honestly. While I would love notes… I’m pretty sure...
An Interesting Change
So… things are still going on? Like… stuff and junk. I was feeling bad that I expect myself to be back at the office and haven’t been doing that. I mean… the rest of the office is doing so. Of...
The New Year Remade
So… it took longer than expected but… notes responded to (mostly) and new year item to be written. At the beginning of this year, all I KNEW was going to happen was the finalization of my marital...
Are you f kidding me?!
I have not written about the current Race Issues here and I likely won’t. Back in my conservative days, this website and honest civil discourse helped me understand a lot of things that I simply...
PuPPY! (No pics, sorry)
Shout out to my dog who gets annoyed if we’re in the basement together and we aren’t running or playing. I’m staying up late to get some extra work done and while she desperately wants me to go ...
June 1, 20666
I want to start by thanking everyone for the notes on my last entry. I do intend to respond to each and every one of them within the next 48 hours. I also intend to follow through with my New Y...
Processesing
So… I HATE that I have to say this before I write… but… I’m processing some painful shit that has deeply impacted me to my core. If this entry inspires you to jump to your critical, “god you suc...
Book Description
I was 20 when I first started taking pills that let me see the world with a little less pain. A few months after that, I met a woman that I thought was beautiful and interesting. When I was 26, I proposed. We married when I was 27 and moved to Omaha. That is where our marriage ABSOLUTELY fell apart. That was 2011. For the last many years; I had been trying to salvage the marriage. At the end of 2019, I told my wife that we needed to separate. This year we file, she moves out, and I try to figure out how to get my shit sorted.
