Entries 376
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What I've realized
I spent some time with Victoria today. Actually, I spent about 9 1/2 hours with Victoria today. Nothing sexy. Just hanging out. Which isn’t bad at all… it just provides me with an opportunity...
Rougher Than Expected
I woke up today and thought to myself… fuck today. I have nothing on my schedule at work. NOTHING. So the only reason to go into the office is so that I can answer unscreened phone calls from ...
So. Huh. Yeah. Yeaaaaah.
Last night, I got home and changed into an outfit to take Nala for a walk. But then Victoria came over and Nala was a LOT more into seeing her than trying to whine for a walk! lol. Then Victor...
A Day Like Any Other Plus Huge Meme Dump
Of complaints and praises, I have both in great supply Of nerves and hopes I will not attempt to lie But days of void and emptiness Are not the days that I expect will impress As an apt prelude t...
Spew, title chosen almost randomly
So… today was scheduled to be a busy day and then… things shifted in court. Oddly. But with the anticipation of lots of court? I kind of assaulted Facebook, lol POST ONE No idea what it means ...
Last One for the Night, I promise
So… today was busy hectic stressful at work. I was planning to go home, walk the dog, eat food, do laundry, read a book, and go to bed. But when I got home? I saw that Nancy had visited the hou...
Spontaneity
So if there’s one thing that Victoria absolutely brings to my life… it is spontaneity. Right now, my schedule for the week looks pretty “copy/paste”. Go home pick up dog poop walk the dog play w...
Breathing
My day today was scheduled to be a truly nothing day. I was going to do some dishes, walk the dog, write some erotica, just… putz around. But it was a damned HOT day and Victoria texted to see ...
Confusion in a Good Way
So, as previously stated (if not here than other wheres) Victoria fairly well put a definition to our relationship. “You are a good friend that I want to help. And a friend I’m interested to hav...
Allowing It
Tonight, I decided to take the therapist’s advice and just accept the grieving emotions, let them pass through me, and embrace what thoughts were attached as opposed to trying to analyze each emo...
Well... things happen
So yesterday after I spoke with the Divorce Attorney, I was feeling… odd. It is a situation where if Nancy wanted to she could fuck the whole thing, we’d start from scratch, and have to re-do an...
Busy Week!
If you had asked me on Sunday if this was going to be a busy week, I would have likely (in a rather Eeyore voice) said, “Probably not.” Well, I would have been wrong! Monday: Trip to Ames, saw fa...
Survey and More
This issue always bothers the living shit out of me. I am a BIG proponent of mental health. We need a lot more services, a lot more funding, and a much better system to help out people who need...
Wednesdays are Pointless
Truly, the most pointless day on my calendar is Wednesdays. Now, that’s an arrogant as balls thing to say because if Courts were running effectively? Wednesdays would be a damned God-send. You...
Humor
So whenever something significant happens followed by something strange, as a lizard-brained human, I tend to jump to connections despite that obviously not being necessarily true. If you receiv...
OOf, but a good Oof
Yesterday went off script pretty quickly but in a good way… ultimately. When I got home, my original intention was to just grab Nala and go. But I got some disturbing mail. A notice for Propert...
Ups, Downs, Delays
I had intended to wake up early, eat a breakfast, grab a shower, head into the office.... but with last night’s emotional insomnia, I “slept” a bit until 3:45… let the dog out… got back to bed ar...
Practicing Self-Grace
Today/tonight I feel down. And it is entirely due to the divorce. And typically, I would be upset at myself about that. Because the depression related to the divorce is (very honestly) A LOT L...
Just Words
I will admit that I am kind if in a depressed place right now. Just everything building on itself. Like… politically? I have progressive friends who keep saying, “fuck voting this year! Biden ...
Emotional Spew
So, I get that what I am saying is Emotional Chris and not Intellectual Chris. I get that Intellectual Chris likely finds this whole thing quite beneath us. But Emotional Chris has to speak jus...
Dreams and More
My dream last night returned to the narrative structure. Difficult to say about perspective. Some was third person “watching a movie” some was first person “fps” style. Ultimately, though, thi...
Doubtful
It is doubtful that I would get more Tinder/OKC attention with this on my profile… buuuuuuut it certainly wouldn’t hurt my current run of zero success. lol
Last Night to Today
Oh, today has already been exhausting. Bugger. So last night, I took the dog for a walk and… she… was different. She’s never viciously snarled at another dog ever. But there was a dog in the p...
That's so 2020
Yeah. It uh… it certainly is one crazy ass fucking year. The “2020” meme with Ant Man can now add “Inland Hurricane tears from Nebraska through Iowa to Chicago and St. Louis.” Yeesh!! I mean, ...
Update
Hurricane in Iowa Power out throughout the state Internet down even if city has power Will update more later Will fond out if Work had power and/or internet
Book Description
I was 20 when I first started taking pills that let me see the world with a little less pain. A few months after that, I met a woman that I thought was beautiful and interesting. When I was 26, I proposed. We married when I was 27 and moved to Omaha. That is where our marriage ABSOLUTELY fell apart. That was 2011. For the last many years; I had been trying to salvage the marriage. At the end of 2019, I told my wife that we needed to separate. This year we file, she moves out, and I try to figure out how to get my shit sorted.
