Entries 376
Page 11 of 16
An Emotional Response
I’m… not doing that great today. Or yesterday. So, I’m not doing that great these last few days. Aside from yesterday being a Juvenile Court day (so filled with kids who are abusing physically...
Body Dysmorphia And Other Things
I’ve been working on something in my head recently. I don’t want to follow the path of everyone else and keep talking about the Virus and the Virus’ effect on things. Largely because (in my sta...
You Have GOT To Be Kidding
I should be upstairs cleaning my kitchen. It is a mess. Three parts cooking a helluva lot more and Two parts working a lot more equals giant kitchen mess. But… I’m ever so slightly enraged. F...
Days Gone
It is acceptable to mourn what is lost; even if what is lost is in pursuit of something greater, better, or smarter. If someone had to cancel a trip they were looking forward to and instead stay...
A Continuing Silence
I honestly have nothing new to write really. More “the world is crazy and I’m enraged” I suppose. Despite 1,000 new confirmed COVID cases over the weekend? Despite over 300 new confirmed COVID c...
News
Again… OTHER THAN adamantly encouraging people to STAY HOME if possible (and telling those Conspiracy Theorists to SHUT YOUR FUCKING GOB)… I am not one to demand/mandate that a State should or sh...
Yell At Me
Obviously, this is nothing new. But still part of where I am. I’m not suicidal, I’m not sad, I’m not even really depressed per se. I’m fatigued. I’m existentially fatigued. I’m of a mood whe...
Least Favorite
So far my least favorite thing about working from home and everything going on is the emotional labor. You see, at the end of the day my job is about fixing what other people or circumstances ha...
Grump
I think it is funny how people read my entries and think they know me. You read the words I share. And while I hold those words dear, sacred even, because they are my attempt to process and ven...
BAD DOG
At approximately 3:30 a.m. I woke up gasping for air. Got super scared that I got the COVID. Nope. Nala friggin shredded my CPAP power chord!! Then… ran to her dog bed! That’s the first time I...
Surveys and Thoughts Part 2
The following was written on Friday, April 17, 2020 between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m. I have to admit, every morning I wake up with a CPAP on my face. Helping me breathe. And I sit ...
Surveys and Thoughts Part 1
First, I’d just like to say that I am reading my favorites and friends on Prosebox but find that I am not noting almost at all. Not for a lack of care, not for a lack of interest, but simply… a ...
The Night Thoughts
Do you know what is keeping me up tonight? Social things. Social has gone online. Martha facetimed me, my parents call me, I play a FnD game online, but the majority of social is via things like...
Silver Lining or Just a Note
I will say this… prior to the onset of COVID19 protections, I was thinking that going into the office was stupid. There was no point to it, it was lame, I didn’t want to do it. I could just wor...
Political
What follows are not my words; but after another rousing day of “Joe Biden is a rapist, white racist and voting for Liberal Trump is bullshit. I don’t care if Sanders supports him!!” I felt… this...
Briefly
Iowa is still seeing an increasing number of C19 cases. New cases admitted to the hospital every day. In her daily briefing, the Governor said that we don’t expect to see the peak of this until...
JUDGE ME HARSHLY
Perhaps this entry will be among those that readers would say should never have been shared. I accept that. But my heart, my mind, my soul desires to share what is locked within. So do judge m...
Folks Return to Dumb
It is Friday, April 10th. Our Governor, who still has not issued a Shelter In Place Decree, is holding fast that the State will be open and free of restrictions on April 30th. Obviously, as I w...
The Days March On
I hope everyone is faring okay. I know many of us are not; but hopefully there are pockets of comfort, of happiness, of support. Last night via Laptop, I communicated with a friend in the Bronx...
A Brief Update
Hello, all. A brief update. Though I’ll admit my brain ain’t all exactly there right now. (1) I… like many studies show throughout the United States… am sleeping like shit. HOWEVER what the st...
Just a Status Update
Blah. Just how I’m feeling right now. Well, that and… (1) I want to take a nap. I’m feeling… just over all kind of crummy. So I want to take a nap. But I can’t because one of the rookie atto...
Truth Bum
I’ll admit… I’m starting to get punchy. Not so much just from the “stay at home” stuff, actually. If it was “stay home” and that was it… I’d be okay, honestly. But the “stay home” while “conti...
Friday, April 3, 2020
One thing that hits me about living through unprecedented, meaning almost assuredly historic times in a digital age is… I’m worried the archaeologists were right. Back when I was in college and ...
Thursday the Second
Had to go into the office today. The good news is that I am the only one in the building so less risk. It is interesting, though. I hadn’t been to the County Seat for a while. The town where ...
Puppy
Nala started this week with a limp and that limp seems to be getting worse but only towards the end of the day. Otherwise, she seems typically capable of her daily life. But for her deep lack o...
Book Description
I was 20 when I first started taking pills that let me see the world with a little less pain. A few months after that, I met a woman that I thought was beautiful and interesting. When I was 26, I proposed. We married when I was 27 and moved to Omaha. That is where our marriage ABSOLUTELY fell apart. That was 2011. For the last many years; I had been trying to salvage the marriage. At the end of 2019, I told my wife that we needed to separate. This year we file, she moves out, and I try to figure out how to get my shit sorted.
