Entries 376
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Last of the Year
So, it is a obvious statement that 2020 did NOT go as planned!!! ROFL. This time last year? I was already reaching out to friends to plan trips. There was going to be The Final Canada Trip to...
Pills
Shit. I didn’t take my pill yesterday. It isn’t like a massive negative issue if I skip a day but considering the lack of D Vitamins, the way life in general has been going and everything else? ...
Bizarre
It is bizarre that this would be a thing for me, but since tightening security (needed) on my PB space… I don’t show up on the Front Page anymore. It’s ridiculous that such a small thing would b...
PURGE
This is the results of a needed purge. Chuckers was arguing with Essen today and referenced “Chris passing out on the floor of his room!” The possible ways he could have gained knowledge about ...
Miserable Start
Grumble, though I’d like to not. I had a social engagement every night of the weekend. Which is massively impressive and makes me SUPER happy(!!!) But add that to the single digit temperatures ...
Should I go Friends Only?
Should I go Friends Only on here? Not because I’ve received any added abuse or anything; simply because Essen’s husband is making his move. Something to consider. Oh, and as you read what follo...
Baka
Grump. But I shouldn’t be. lol So, last night Victoria came over to help me set up my bigger Christmas Tree in the basement for her COVID safe birthday party/holiday party. Instead of any hanky ...
Bah- Wednesday
So.... I stayed home from work yesterday because I wasn’t feeling well. And Remus was getting a COVID test so I felt that was best. Remus’ test was negative and the kids have been sharing a hea...
Therapy Words and Other
Apparently, I can hold on to my confidence for approximately 4 days. After an excellent shot of confidence and feeling loved, I was doing very well until Sunday. Then, with no warning or reason...
I Get The Compliment
Today, I was playing with the kids. I was doing a great job of it. Victoria said the only thing missing was a kid of my own. I know she meant that (and stated) that I would make a great dad. I...
Good for Good Reasons
Before I go into the more recent, I want to make sure I explain something from a few nights ago. You see, when I say that Nala loves when Victoria and Essen’s kids come over… and loves those kid...
Bah
I got maybe 67 minutes of sleep last night. Drove to Des Moines and back for new glasses. Was still in the office by 10. Working on the dumbass list of Magistrate Bullshit tomorrow. After work, l...
That Tears It
Call me judgmental but… I sent this to my therapist: Condensing: I need and want to treat Therapy like a Battle Strategy because I like knowing I’m making progress. And this year “progress” in an...
Unsettling
Today I woke up feeling only two things. Anger and Emotionally Cold. That’s… not a great way to wake up. I’m wondering if it is because this is “back to work after a Holiday”… the whole concept...
I just received the greatest compliment of my life
I just received the greatest compliment of my life Essen said that I remind her of Samwise Gamgee. “You’re loyal, pure, steadfast, and determined through adversity. And you’ll come home to your...
Uniquely Positioned
There are three things that I see from my tower that I feel I am in a unique position to see (1) Man’s absolute inhumanity and cruelty never ceases to surprise or dismay me. The brutality, the h...
Additional Therapy
So, my Therapist’s response to THIS was “So sad you are struggling, Chris” So… I pretty much explain the last 36 years of my existence, repeatedly tying it back to the concept of “Less Than” that...
Seeing it again
For some reason, I am seeing a lot of Facebook posts today about “Women, don’t let your man treat you bad.” Or “Why ain’t there men with emotional intelligence?” Or “How hard is it for a man to k...
Writing Here for Therapy
I’m writing my Therapy Assignment here so that it doesn’t get deleted by a Refresh on the Therapy page. The assignment was to dig through your past and present to determine why there is such a c...
Bah
Oof. Super slept in. Have house cleaning to do. The hyper-Trump “COVID is a hoax” former High School friend in Texas? Live tweeted her travel this week. Apparently she and her husband went to t...
Proper Perspectives
(1) I didn’t want to simply launch directly into a complaint of anything so I wanted to state at the beginning that I had a lovely night last night. I don’t know what the specifics were necessar...
Unfortunate
I really don’t feel good today. It’s all having to do with sinuses, post nasal drip, and my stomach. Not to mention there is a Boil Order in my city. You see, afraid that November wouldn’t hav...
Le Sigh
I am not okay. I don’t like it and I don’t know what to do about it. But I am not okay.
Therapy
It’s fun to confuse my therapist. She was shocked by how confident and certain I sounded when I said, “I know I’m a catch. I know I’m capable. With motivation, point me at a task, I will accom...
Silly, I guess
So I came into the office today. The only reason I did so was because I anticipate a defendant coming in to sign papers “at some point.” Otherwise, I’d be home. Because today is all about “Pla...
Book Description
I was 20 when I first started taking pills that let me see the world with a little less pain. A few months after that, I met a woman that I thought was beautiful and interesting. When I was 26, I proposed. We married when I was 27 and moved to Omaha. That is where our marriage ABSOLUTELY fell apart. That was 2011. For the last many years; I had been trying to salvage the marriage. At the end of 2019, I told my wife that we needed to separate. This year we file, she moves out, and I try to figure out how to get my shit sorted.
