Entries 116

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I think, he wants us to have sex when we meet up. And idk…I don’t want to, I hide my desired under lots of shame and disgust and hurt and hatred. Over my time gone i tried to…you know but that di...

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I’m okay

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I write a blog now for the online community/support group I run. It’s very cutesy and speaks really well to the person I am deep inside. If anyone knows any cute gifs that relate to comfort and m...

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So my ex returned, after their ex cheated on them. They where heartbroken, turning my best friend for a relationship which enraged me. They confessed to my best friend, J after apologizing to me ...

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So much has happened in the past week, no two weeks. One of those things is my ex who broke up with me right before I became active on here, came back right after being broken up with/being rejec...

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I’m back and I feel kinda okay. I almost had a good entry and update but then I had to go and make myself upset, get self conscious, cry, get my friends worried about me and run off to hide in my...

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I feel kinda stupid. I got mad at him and basically told him to piss off. But who was I kidding myself, to think id be the first choice for a guy like him. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, I wante...

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So another one of my online friends likes me. But he has a girlfriend. I was like “what??” The whole time, as he confessed to me before but I was like “I’m sorry we just met” (we had just met lik...

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My mom yelled at me a few minutes ago. Said she was sick of me going to bed all early and laying around all day and complaining. I don’t mean to. I’m just really tired. But she’s right, I started...

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I’m hiding in the bathroom to write this and cry a bit. I feel like grabbing a cheese grater or something to get my skin off. I’m so gross, nobody can see me without probably thinking how I’m so ...

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I’m not even good at this journal thing. It’s kinda funny in a sad way. Since I use different sites some entries are misplaced or missing. That’s because I’m ashamed of lots… it’s better to throw...

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I made them feel dirty…I’m a stupid pig

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Another day, another day. It was mostly a blur so not to much about there. I have begun to feel kinda lonely but that’s our natural these days. I’m almost done my fic for the writing exchange, w...

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I’m sorry I can’t respond to comments at the moment I’m so tired. I’ve caused some damage to one of my nostrils, I scratched the inside of up pretty bad. I think some of the skin is gone but hope...

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I feel like I don’t belong here, in this place. In this world. Like something is misshapen and out of place, it just feels wrong to be here.

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I’m sorry you feel like I treated you like shit, that was never my intention. I’m so sorry for what happened and the way I reacted. I should’ve spoken up when I was uncomfortable and not played a...

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Sorry. Another depressing entry. Thanks for all the nice comments they brighten my day. 💖 I’m crying at the moment and cuddling with one of my plushies. I might as well explain why im crying. I w...

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I’m buried under blankets currently so writing will be hard, bleh. I’m sleepy but I’m trying to eat 3 meals today so no sleep. Tomorrow I’ll start planning a weight loss schedule while counting t...

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I keep forgetting to mention, I run a online support group. It’s stressful but i feel at home there, well kinda. Last night i felt like i hated. I was told by a member i was using my anger on the...

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Idk..just i guess im not enough for anyone.

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R is a funny story, I’ve gotten attached at a record speed of a WEEK. I loose track of time so i thought it had been longer but nope a week. I have no idea if R considers me a girlfriend or not, ...

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He contacted on a alt account as i blocked his main one. This is what we talked about.... E:i just wanted to ask why you blocked me on my other account H: I feel So dirty it hurts E: but why did ...

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Basically, remember i said Esty is nineteen? Keep it in mind. Shit went bad. Bad. I’m going to put what Esty and I said below. I already had a panic attack over it. I took a hot ass shower due t...

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It hurts

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Talked about my self esteem issues today. Besides that I talked to the guy again, let’s call him by a name lol. So I was talking to esty about last night which was cool. He asked me some things a...

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