Entries 310

Page 5 of 13

Can you whistle? Just put your lips together and blow. But not really. Scariest thrill ride you’ve been on? My trip to New York in 2006 comes to mind. Where is your favorite place on earth? Jac...

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So after writing that last entry, Richard and I finally hung out for my birthday where I took him to the bi-monthly orgy that happens and watched him get fucked by nearly every person I’ve had se...

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I won’t say I’m surprised because I’m not, at least, not when I look back and take a look at everything that has led to this point. Richard moving back to Sacramento wasn’t the great healing I t...

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I knew the minute I said the word “fag” to him, I had opened some kind of floodgate. Furthermore, as I listened to him spin this yarn, telling me how everyone is constantly telling him what a fag...

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I’ve written so many entries that I ended up deleting. I was getting very tired of the tone of my entries, everything negative and dwelling on how hurt I am. That perspective hasn’t changed too m...

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After I wrote the last entry, I actually looked back at my past entries and was not all that surprised to discover that I had written almost an identical entry last year. I wrote this long entry ...

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I know it’s been an incredibly long time, and I don’t even know if anyone still looks for my entires anymore because of how infrequent they’ve become. I just got back from a long-deserved vacatio...

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I know, it has been a long time. One of the longest breaks I’ve ever taken. To be quite honest, the only reason I’m writing right now is because I was watching Call Me By Your Name and started ge...

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I was halfway through a REALLY boring entry and I just decided, fuck that, I’ll do a survey. Get to know me. A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? “These creepy old men keep hover...

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Last weekend, my step-father cornered me and I got stuck in this incredibly long speech. Essentially, he called me a 40-year-old single loser. First of all, I was livid. I’m finally getting on tr...

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I’m sitting in one of five Starbucks I passed in my terminal alone in the Seattle-Tacoma airport. I’m heading back to Sacramento after having a week here to clear my head and figure things out. M...

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Last night was such a disaster, I’m so angry and so done with so many things. Honestly, it was so bad that had it been a year ago, I would have killed myself. There would have been no attempt, I ...

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The air quality in my nook of California has been so bad that I haven’t actually left my house in three days. I’m okay with that, I caught up on some reading and enjoyed the solitude. Not having ...

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I remember writing the last entry thinking that I had so much to write about, but really, none of it matters. And that’s the problem. I miss when I felt like my life mattered. I wish everything d...

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I should know better than to name my trips something as singular as “One Man Show” because in essence, that’s what it became. A series of misfires in which I found myself at the mercy of my own p...

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So I am writing this on my phone, which I hate doing but I’ve just decided all of this in the last 24 hours, so I’m writing now. I have much more to write about, but I haven’t had the time. My j...

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A - Age: 34 (but only for a few more weeks) B- Biggest Fear: I just went over this in the last entry.... being abandoned. C- Current Time: 15h55 on a Monday. D- Drink you last had: Earl Grey with...

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Yesterday an incident happened which caused a sharp crack in my somewhat fragile mental health recovery. I mean, I didn’t sleep all night because I was crying in terror, afraid to fall asleep. It...

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So I decided to go to my family’s church yesterday. I wanted to see if this was the source of the political hatred that has suddenly washed over my family. Let me tell you, I haven’t been to chur...

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So there have been two other wrenches thrown into my plan to head back to LA in the timely manner in which I had first charted out. The first of which is my former employer, whom I shall be seein...

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Chuckie is continuing to slide into territories I find truly frightening. Are there Mexican Neo-Nazis? The other day he was wearing a red shirt emblazoned with that famous photo of Ché Guevara wi...

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I knew that making an announcement about my intentions to leave LA was a very bad idea because my mother has done absolutely everything in her power to wind down the clock. Now, I’m not really bl...

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Last week was such a crazy, whirlwind of a week that I don’t even want to talk about it. It was filled with a lot of interesting things, and I spent nearly four days straight with Richard. It was...

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I came home from work the other night and my parking spot as well as all the guest parking spots were taken up by my little brother’s friends. Honestly, I didn’t even get mad. In the past, every ...

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Richard has been making frequent trips to visit now that he’s out of school and only has to work weekends at the bar in San Francisco. This means that he’s not just seeing me, he’s also seeing hi...

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