Entries 311

Page 12 of 13

I've attempted to write a couple of times but the truth is I can't bring myself to write when I'm upset and turning this place into a gossip column. That's not the reason I write, but at the same...

---

So I went and saw Lady Gaga on Monday evening. I never really have considered myself a huge fan of hers, I mean, I've always enjoyed her music, but her image and appearances always detested me a ...

---

Well, my sex drought is over. But it was not the kind of situation I would've preferred. It was, once again, with a straight guy. Who is 19. And Latino. So I guess not much progress has been mad...

---

Crying in the pouring rain is an excellent way to camouflage that you care Your sadness is swallowed by the tearful rage of Mother Nature And just as the Mother cries out to conceal our true feel...

---

On Monday night, descriptive lesbians got me extremely drunk. Tuesday I had the worst hangover all day and it was just awful. But that evening I decided to go out with Dave and he brought along a...

---

So, my computer died this morning. I apologize if the formatting of this entry is a little off or if there are tons of spelling errors because I am writing this using the voice technology on my c...

---

So I just wrote an entry about how I don't want to have sex, and even though I didn't have sex, I did meet someone with whom I wanted to have sex. It was surprising and it was a little amusing be...

---

I'm not used to doing nothing. It feels stupid to have the job that I have. I think I finally get it. People would always tell me about how they need to have the right job... a career, if you wil...

---

I spent a lot of time writing that last entry (The Greatest Adventure in Things That I'm Grateful For), one of the longest amount of times I've spent writing any of my entries. I spent nearly six...

---

Yesterday I got a text inviting me to go once again the monthly queer performance art party. There were two opposing sides of this decision with some minor pulls in either direction. I'll start w...

---

School finally limped to an end on Friday. I say limped because the end of school marched as inexorably slow as a George Romero zombie. It seemed never-ending. My finals started three-and-a-half ...

---

I went and saw X-Men yesterday. I decided to walk to the theater. I walked eight miles round trip. I don't know why I did it. I'm just extremely inactive at the moment and I decided to switch tha...

---

I was reading an entry by Contra Night Stalker about the conflict he has in his relationship and my initial reaction was to say that I don't know about those types of conflict because I haven't h...

---

I found this Tumblr page of a photographer in Canada who takes photos and interviews queer Muslims. As they discussed their faith, I realized that I don't really talk about mine anymore. I know ...

---

In order to really make sense of this, we have to travel back a few months to when I was in the deepest pit of my depression. I had left Richard and his boyfriend behind in Los Angeles go to a se...

---

When I was in high school, I happened to see The Talented Mr. Ripley. It would be an understatement to say that that movie really fucked me up. I knew that I was going to write about it because ...

---

I don't really believe in ceremonies. I feel like they are this giant placebo. Graduation. I never went to my high school graduation. I was supposed to be giving a speech, I told my school that ...

---

I should really get to bed. It's only 10:30 but that's extremely late for me. For whatever reason, I got sucked into a spiral of 90s country music and got started on my homework a bit late. I'm ...

---

The time has come for me to start trying to figure out what I'm going to do when I finish school in March. Ideally, I would like to go back to France, but I'm not sure that that's very practical ...

---

Now to write something a bit more straightforward. Where did I leave off? Well, I realized about a week ago that my behavior over the last several months exhibits signs of depression. Now, it ...

---

My hair is long. It has passed my shoulders. I’ve never felt like a man. I know that I am one simply because that’s how I’ve always identified myself, but I don’t do manly things. It has always m...

---

I had a complete mental breakdown a few weeks ago that sent me spiraling out into realms that I'd previously left unvisited. I felt so rejected by JD, and I didn't realize that I have severe aban...

---

So I had to create a short film for one of my classes and it was quite depressing because nobody believed in my vision. I ended up getting it done and I'm quite proud of the way it turned out, bu...

---

I just lost two of my best friends. Well, "lost" isn't the right word. I have chosen to sever all contact over something seemingly trivial, but to me it is a representation of some deeply held b...

---

It was purely by chance that the end of Open Diary coincided with me getting back in touch with a writer whom I began following a few years ago. Aside from just the entries he wrote, we began e-m...

---