Entries 89
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Reservations.
I was going to call this entry āFearsā but that didnāt seem quite right. I donāt believe that itās fear that Iām feeling, exactly. I think Iām just having reservations. Uncertainties. Yes, uncert...
Letting Go.
Been working really hard lately to purge a lot of noise from my life. People that arenāt good for me, my own rotten thoughts, clothes I donāt wear, and as much of #2ās shit as possible. Iāve nev...
Chains
An entire life lived in chains and youāre breaking them all.
like the sun
your mind is a library of knowledge your body, a garden of wonder your heart is a vault of magic your soul, a sea of wisdom nothing i do not love about you not even Chicago because you are it and...
Puzzle
Weāve both said, āYouāre my missing piece.ā You arenāt my missing piece. We are made up of all the most beautiful parts of ourselves, intertwined and intermingled. All of our pieces come togethe...
Emotional Maturity
I aināt got none. Iām pretty sure Iām likeā¦ emotionally stunted. Or emotionally immature. In a weird way, I guess, considering how self-aware I am. My recent heightened level of self-awareness ha...
Boundaries!
I am doing so good! I went out tonight (Sunday) to one of the local watering holes, got white girl wasted, had a complete blast hanging out with a new friend I donāt see nearly enough and a frien...
Cognitive Dissonance.
āCognitive Dissonance, the mental conflict that occurs when beliefs or assumptions are contradicted by new information. The unease or tension that the conflict arouses in people is relieved by on...
Old Habits.
I knew it couldnāt hold, my good mood, the elation I was feeling at how well my life is going. All the too-good-to-be-true-ness is holding, at least. There is so much in my life, so many good thi...
Without Shame.
I know Iāve written about shame before, but itās a really prominent thought in my mind right now. I donāt know how to love without shame. I think. I mean, I donāt know how not to doubt myself, t...
Unsaid.
There are so many things I want to say but I donāt say them because Iāve been trained to believe that it should be embarrassing to be so expressive. Itās melodramatic. Cheesy. Annoying. I know ...
Unchained.
I have lived my entire life in mental and emotional chains. Some self-imposed and others not so much. As a child, I began to believe some pretty negative things about myself. Iāve spent my entire...
Too Good.
If life has taught me anything, itās that if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Okay, it always is. But shouldnāt there come a time in a personās life where maybe they find something ...
Toddler.
Iām afraid of behaving like an annoying child, tugging a sleeve or a pant leg and chanting, āMommy. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy? Mommmmmmy!ā Is it because I was treated like an annoying child for years...
Careful.
I am feeling the first tingles of fear. Iām not even sure what Iām afraid of, but the tingle is most certainly present. Or maybe Iām just having a hint of anxiety because I fucked up my med refi...
Writing.
Writing is so good for me, so healthy, a much-needed release. I say things here that I donāt generally talk about in every day life, reveal so much more about myself than most people will ever kn...
Opposites Attract.
You know, they do, actually. And thatās the problem for me, every damn time. Iāve always picked guys who are the opposite of me. Thatās why they all wanted to change me. They were attracted to th...
You.
There are so many things about you, so many little things, that you are likely completely unaware of. Things you say and do that move me in ways, and for reasons, that you have no knowledge of. A...
Journey, Part 2
āNo one knows my journey. No one single person has the whole picture. No one but me. Many, many people have little pieces, some more than others. But none of them have the whole. So none of them,...
Floodgates.
This is breathtaking and hearth-wrenching and devastating and reformative. This is everything. No one has ever loved me like you do. I love the way you love me. Itās breathtaking. No one has ev...
Love and IHOP.
I think I know what being in love feels like now. True, honest, pure love. Part of me wants to own you, I wonāt deny it. Part of me wants you right now, right here, for always, every minute, for...
Unquantifiable.
There is no measurement for this, no frame of reference, no context. Itās all just inconceivable, unimaginable. I literally feel like Iāve stepped into an alternate reality, a different, much bet...
Insecurities.
Yeah, I have them, even still. Donāt worry, I wasnāt fooled by my recent good spirits. I knew the things were still there in my mind, the rotten things, in a dark, shadowy little corner. Itās har...
Unicorn.
Love is a funny, fickle thing. Of course Iāve been in love before. I mean, right? Of course I was in love with the 2 men I had children withā¦ wasnāt I? Of course I was in love with the man from a...
Adulting.
I bought a car today! I went to my bank and I got a loan and I bought a new (new to me and newer than anything Iāve owned in years and years) car! I haggled and got what I wanted for a damn good,...
Book Description
Rising from the ashes.
