Entries 367
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Familiar Anxiety
The feeling I am experiencing? Is familiar as hell. It is the same feeling I had when trying to break up with Abusive Ex. It is the same feeling I had when leaving Steve’s Shoes for the last t...
A Normal Entry
So… last night and today… Last night before I left work, Wife asked me to pick up some Vice Grips as the Washing Machine Repair man came back (3rd time) and “fixed” the machine… it did not fix th...
An Embarrassing Admission
I may have written a lot lately but that’s how I process. I write, then I get input. Not because I want to air my dirty laundry but because I am an attorney very much in the style of Harvey Two...
Minds and Hearts
So… some people have been reading the words of these pages since I first started in 2013. You’ve stayed to read things from “Am I ever going to have sex with my Wife again?” to “I’m so upset tha...
Endings
Play is over. I am feeling physically sore and very tired. But that isn’t the only aftermath left, of course. Honestly, I’m not even sure if “Emily” will follow up with me about anything. She ...
Wrap Up
Show happened. Roughest one yet; but people still loved it. The actress playing my sister was a little over the top today; so I pulled mine back as a compensation. Still hit the real tears, thou...
The Day
So, my parents are here. I gave the parents a tour of the house, we played with the dog, and Dad is watching football. My mom, who everyone always calls a saint, is sitting with my wife. As my...
Highlights from Last Night
I sent my therapist an e-mail explaining things. In our session, I had discussed the problems with wife and I had discussed quite literally the “scenarios” I posted here as to how I would feel i...
A Question of Àm
This entry is a direct follow up, exploration, and analysis relating to THIS entry. I really must be demanding and insist that if you wish to note this entry, you MUST read the previous one. I’...
Achrannach
So I suppose it wouldn’t really be my life if there wasn’t something complicated, unexpected, or difficult thrown in at just the right moment to make me feel a need to write about it. Therein li...
Pete Dumbowski
Today is the first show of my play. It isn’t the public showing; it is the Charity Showing. Public shows start tomorrow. I have mentioned repeatedly that my character is… well… basically me. ...
Yeah, it's a third
So… my ADULT Entry today, I don’t consider a real entry. I started it in October, collected all of the data in October, ran most of the numbers in October, and just posted it today because I fig...
Today
I am feeling… emotionally hollowed out about now. Play Practice last night went poorly. That is actually GOOD. Week of the show, you want a few rehearsals to feel rocky because if you peak ear...
As I Sit
As I sit and count the minutes down that will signal the end of this work day, I am somewhat absorbed by a notion. Call it vanity. Call it hubris. Call it fear. I get an image in my head of m...
Just... need to say
So… yesterday, I drank and played video games and fell further into the sucking abyss that is my situation. Wife went to the laundromat and had dinner ready for me when I returned from play ...
Nightmares and Insights
Today is Veteran’s Day. Which means it was an optional work day for me. Which is to say… it is supposed to be a day where I am not supposed to go to work; but my boss scheduled something for to...
In Review
May discuss some stuff that was previously Friends Only, so be aware. So yesterday… I got into the car to grab some snacks for the party. Second weekend, second party. And on the radio? A stor...
In The Court of Appeals
Always nice when an Iowa Court Case gets national attention. Benjamin Schreiber is a convicted murderer who was sentenced to serve a life-sentence in the Iowa Department of Corrections. He is ...
Public, but iffy
I’m making this entry public. I probably shouldn’t. This is one of those things where keeping it public invites criticism and a whole world of mean, nasty, or judgmental comments. And I apprec...
Blurb or Blerb?
Which spelling do you prefer? I’ve seen it both ways and I would personally make the argument that the factual, actual correct spelling is “blurb” but at the same time I do see the value in “ble...
Scream Shout
Well, in a new record we got Wife to “shouting at the absolute top of her lungs in rage” within 38 minutes of MBFITWW arriving. Yesterday, she did not want to help me cook and said, “Let’s save t...
Just a burst
Forgive me if the language I use in this entry offends, it is not intended to. However, I find that occasionally, I feel a need to be blunt. Dropping the pretenses of diplomacy or well-mannered...
Dreams
I had a multi-stage narrative dream last night and if I don’t write it down… I’m likely to kick myself. BEGIN It was morning of a court hearing day, but the courthouse was a unique blend of IF an...
Momentary Feeling
I find myself.... restless. Which I find combines with my curiosity in unfortunate ways. Because, you see, they are competing impulses for me at this moment. I want to sit, and read, and learn ...
Just bitching
Here is some more bitching from me on a tired and shitty topic. You know how I have a full time job? And how, even in slow days, I am at work AT MINIMUM from 7:30 to 5:00? You know how Wife tak...
Book Description
This will now be my sixth year writing in Prosebox. I started as a Law Student considering Divorce… and now I’m a Government Attorney who owns a house going to marriage counseling. After 6 consecutive years of “Looking for something new or better” this year, I’m just trying to hold on to what I’ve got. I like my job. I like my community. I like my house. I’m just trying to hold on to all of it and make sure I keep things going.
