Entries 432
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Yet Another Weird Dream.
So, I’m in my living room. I noticed a guy outside outfitted in modern U.S. military fatigue. Kind of crouched, skulking past my window. I’d say… between 43 and 57 years of age. Determined e...
How to get Pulled Over.
I have two anecdotes for you. It’s storytime. Picture it. Jersey. Approaching evening. An ‘88 Dodge Caravan. Black Cherry. She stops at a red light going downhill. She makes a sharp right...
Greg's Farm Fresh Vaginas™ To Go Organic. (Repost)
The following is a work of fiction I wrote many years ago. It contains many usages of the word “Vagina”. I am aware this might be shocking information, but almost half the population of humans ...
Sleep Tracking 3-6-21
Time in bed, sans urination station: 9:20 pm - 9:15 am. I recall being awake at 6am. It felt too early to get up. I simply clutched my Reddy Bear, and relaxed. Three blankets strewn across me...
Sleep Tracking 3-5-21
5:15 am - 8:15 am. Whoopsie. I recall unplugging the headphones and letting Tina’s speakers do the talking. Do love me some Pandora. I maintain that “How are you?” is an existential question. B...
Sleep Tracking 3-4-21 & Darmok
Time in bed: 5:25 am - 10:30 am. You can math it. Yeah, I had an odd night. Everything yesterday started nice. Even put on clothes before pajamas when I woke up. Motivate? I wanted to put t...
Yet Another Star Trek Primer.
Curious about my massive nerd-on for Star Trek, but don’t know where to start? Timmy is here to help! With ten series, thirteen movies, and two new series on the way, it can seem as overwhelmin...
Sleep Tracking 3-3-21, Duolingo, CAH, L4D, etc.
Time in bed: 11:25 pm to 8 am. Time asleep: ~ 7 hours. Had a mere .5 mg of melatonin. Nothing else. Seven hours is good. Just the normal rousing in the middle of the night. Just taking a li...
A Critical Analysis of Orange Babyhand's Gold Statue.
I’m trying my best to avoid discussing stale cheeto, in the hopes he will fade from the collective discussion. Alas. This is too hilarious to pass up. (In case this image doesn’t load in the f...
Sleep Tracking 3-2-21 & Culinary Pornography.
Time in bed: 10:20 pm to 7:20 am. Amount of sleep: ~ 8 hours. It’s about goddamned time. 1 mg melatonin and two benadryl. The 2mg gummies didn’t seem to be doing the trick, so I went with my...
Sleep Tracking 3-1-21 & Chekhov's Gun.
Time in bed: 12:10 am - 7:10 am. Time asleep, after 2 am. Amount of sleep: ~3 hours total. Took 2mg melatonin, 1 zzzquil, 1 benadryl, and 1 nyquil. And I STILL wasn’t drowsy at all. Maybe wh...
Sleep Tracking 2-28-21
Time in bed: 11:30 pm to 8:30 am. Time asleep: 3-4 hours. Last time I observed before my first unconsciousness was 3 am. Well, at least that is earlier. Laying in bed gets boring after enou...
Sleep Tracking 2-27-21
Was latently sobbing until around 5 pm yesterday. I think that was when it softly subsided. Barely ate. No appetite. I believe around 400 calories. Went to bed at 11:30 pm. Got up at 7:45 am...
Rejection.
This whole concept of cutting off contact with “toxic” people is a load of steaming cow dung. I’m tired of seeing these posts on facebook. Toxic is an overused word. In high school, I had a guy ...
How Do You Wipe?
Less an inquiry of specifics, more HOW IS IT POSSIBLE. Now, this may be shocking information. Girls poop. They defecate. They take massive shits. There are toots and pauses between each evacu...
South of Heaven.
First song Pandora plays is Slayer. Mofoing SLAYER. Slayer isn’t easy to get into. (Seriously. I get it. Metallica is easier to get into.) But once you get into Slayer, they will scream on ...
The TimmySandwiches.
Picture it. Jersey. Mid-naughts. Someone’s apartment. A dozen or so Jerseyians. Or is it Jerseyites. (Whatever.) Cuddle Party. For the uninitiated, Cuddle Party is a safe space to practice ...
This is a Taco.
Well, it is. Happy Taco to you.
JETPACK!
It’s something Alice does sometimes. I’ll be walking around my flat, she’ll jump on my back, wrap her arms and legs around me, and exclaim JETPACK! Like a spontaneous piggyback ride. Sometimes ...
The Gold Cartridge.
I should also have a gold copy of the original LoZ, however this is about Ocarina of Time. Picture it, Jersey, autumn, 1998. Toys’R’Us. What. So it’s not Sophia. All the Golden Girls deserve...
Kashmir.
Who doesn’t have an interior monologue? Are there truly people who aren’t constantly thinking? HOW DO YOU FUNCTION. Well, it’s not constant-constant for me. I’m capable of zoning out and focusi...
The White Rose.
V left it in my car with a note. And I didn’t understand the symbolism of white. I thought it meant she was attracted to me. And she was. It’s somewhere between romantic attraction and physica...
Self-Diagnosis.
Generally not recommended to google-doctor, but we all do it now and then. I have about three terms that.... “help” describe me. Schizoaffective Disorder, Manic Depression, and Anxiety. Yes, y...
Lack of Control.
More personal observations. If I pace/meditate on this further, I’m sure I could think of other examples. The easiest ones to elaborate on are food, and masturbation. (This is why there an oxfo...
Feeling Worthless. (Video.)
Thank you to anyone who keeps me in their heart and thoughts.
Book Description
Public entries which I hope are on par with Classic Timmy™.
