Entries 432
Page 17 of 18
Yay money.
With the advent of modern technology, doing your own taxes is pretty easy. I'm getting back everything that was withheld. For whatever reason, I actually owe a couple dollars in state taxes. I...
On Communication.
I really think "wavelength" is the most appropriate word to describe meshing correctly with another person's communication style. It's clear to me now that Candi and I just were on two different...
Kobayashi Maru.
Attitude is a funny thing. If you tell someone, "You need to think positive!" the vast majority of people are going to reply, "You need to go fuck yourself!" It's difficult to tell people that ...
Progress.
I failed my midterm, for sure. Who fails a take-home midterm? I don't know, man, I've been wanting to get to the library, it just turns into this THING in my head where I'm not sure if I'm goin...
Simple things that make me feel better.
Doing sets of pull-ups and push-ups in the morning. Downing massive quantities of water at every opportunity. Peeing. Showering in the morning, or after workies. Eating breakfast. Brushing my tee...
Happy Wanking.
As a complete aside, it just occurred to me that my sex drive is returning. Not like some overbearing thing, but I've masturbated three nights straight for the first time in YEARS. Mind you, th...
Metal.
I'm never hungry in the morning. I mean, if I have workies, I'll ingest something. But I can easily go until mid to late afternoon before I actually feel hungry. Hrm. Thought I had somethin...
This isn't me.
I had a spare thought the other day which has been ringing in my head (in a good way). I was musing about how I don't want medication because I'm afraid it'll make me "not me". And then I thoug...
No direction.
I actually was quite content last week. I had four days off in a row and managed to stay dry ten days straight. I felt like I actually had energy for once. Got to the gym four days, and was ot...
About time.
Mark your calendars, I'm in a fantastic mood. Day nine dry, and I'm four for four at the gym this week. Am I over the hump? God damn, I better be, I've suffered enough. Even in the darkness, ...
Your Mom's Vagina.
The fog is clearing. THE FOG IS CLEARING. I'm still a sardonic asshole, but my ability to smile is returning, so I kind of sound like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY-oili63QQ What is...
Empty Dreams.
You're supposed to spend your twenties figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. How to present yourself accurately and how to make yourself happy. Almost 6 months into my 30's, a...
Try and relax.
Don't know whether it's the weather or the depression or inconsistent sleep or the drinking but I've been so tired and demotivated all year. Yet when I think back to the years before I met Candi...
Sadz.
I just kind of woke up sad today. I got 8 hours of sleep last night, but when my alarm went off, ugh, I just wasn't in the mood. Though, part of why I made sure to go to bed early is because I ...
Subjective Reality.
On the one hand, I still believe, to some degree, that we choose our reality. That we choose the perspective for which we see the world. We can choose to focus on different facets, whether they...
Yay, snow!
I must be one of the few people left who actually enjoys snow. Just about every last person I run into is straight-up bitching left and right about it. I get it, but my perspective is entirely ...
No Pride.
I wonder if it's because of my desire to be "that person" for people. Or maybe feeling like I'm such an undesirable person to begin with that if I have any flaws, any mistakes, anything someone ...
Momentum.
I was talking to Erik recently about my depression. He said one thing he used to do was remind himself in the morning that not being happy does not mean being depressed. For now, the wave of da...
Identity.
If I have any sense of identity, it's one of an outcast, one rejected, one alone. Not normal, not understood. I have always felt this way. Always. And that is why I yearn for brief moments of gen...
The Final Countdown.
Somehow seems more real than a simple screenshot. 4594 entries. 43561 notes. Gone. All gone. Perhaps there is no solid ground to fall back on, only things that stay with us for a time, only...
Snow Day.
I love cuddling. All those years I spent feeling like something was missing in my life, maybe, just maybe, I needed cuddles. Ha ha, good thing I wasn't into vodka then, even if I used to keep v...
My Internet Best Friend.
I find it fascinating what a small community this is. Despite the fact that there are still plenty of people I don't know, and I would assume don't know me either, there's still this common heri...
Okay.
Speaking of vodka, I made it a week without drinking for the first time in.. well, frankly, I can't remember. Two things have made the difference. One, marking on my calendar when I'm drinking...
Farewell, Bang Bang Bruce.
It's like learning a dying family member is about to pass away, and trying only to remember the good times. I actually tried to write this on OD, but predictably, the site timed out. So, much l...
Keep running.
Hung out with Caty tonight. I wasn't even nervous, it was more morbid curiosity how hanging out with her would go. I met her through Elissa, which means, if these hang-outs continue, I will hav...
Book Description
Public entries which I hope are on par with Classic Timmy™.
