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Hello

by J.E.

Entries 1,567

Page 7 of 63

Very tired. Slept a few hours this afternoon but then I was pestered by mom to do I’ve her to the store. Seriously, what was the point of her eye surgeries? I got to craving hardcore. Tried ta...


January 11, 2024

Paper Towns

I just finished the John Green novel Paper Towns. For a book aimed at teenagers it was really deep. Bittersweet ending. Definitely one that’s going to have me in my head, thinking the rest of t...


January 11, 2024

Frigidly Cold

It’s only 33 F out but it’s the kinda cold that’ll blister your face. Go figure my hip has been hurting because of which. Mom isn’t feeling so well either. I take a butter knife and an old sh...


January 10, 2024

I Don't Feel So Good

No, I didn’t drink last night. Yet my stomach still feels uneasy. I hate dealing with nausea. Maybe I really shouldn’t be watching Andrew Zimmern eating frogs… 🤢🤮


January 09, 2024

White Knuckle Ride

I want booze tonight. Badly. Fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis


January 09, 2024

RIP

Butters the Bean is a YouTube channel that follows the daily exploits of a orange and white tabby cat from Pennsylvania. I’ve been subscribed for years. Poor Butters passed away today. Truly a s...


So… Tired… My sleep schedule has been absolute shite lately. I slept in till AFTER 7 PM last night. Even went to bed early(ish) for me. I stayed up all night to try and correct it so here I am...


January 06, 2024

Good Eatin'

Ritz crackers, cayenne hot sauce and sardines. I’ve been in a mood today. Er… that’s not right. My mind is in another place and I can’t figure out where that is. I’m kinda wanting to get outsi...


January 05, 2024

Another Sobriety Post

70 days sober or 30 away from 100 days. It really doesn’t feel like it. Where’d the time go? Hours later… My mouth is on 🔥! Ate a sandwich of buffalo chicken and garlic bologna with Zapp’s Hott...


69 days sober!


69 days sober!


January 03, 2024

Old Pussy

My cat’s Rosie and Lily are getting old. Rosie has a noticeable limp in her front right leg that I’m sure is arthritis. She’s twelve. Lily just wants to sleep in my lap now every chance she gets...


January 03, 2024

Old Pussy

My cat’s Rosie and Lily are getting old. Rosie has a noticeable limp in her front right leg that I’m sure is arthritis. She’s twelve. Lily just wants to sleep in my lap now every chance she gets...


January 01, 2024

January 1st, 2024

Slept in today till one. Felt awesome. I did some chores today and have read a lot. Book three in the Esther Diamond series Unsympathetic Magic. Deals with struggling actress Esther and her mi...


I read a lot. Drank a lot. Had no sex a lot. Pissed off a judge a lot. I dunno, guess I’m thankful to be here on NYE sober. Yeah, that’s about it. I finished Three Days Missing half an hour ago...


December 30, 2023

Mucho Sleepy For This Dookie

Managed to crash for a few hours when we got home. I feel so much better, except now my throat is sore and sinuses hurt. Temp dropped and we’re expecting rain. 😑 Okay, let’s see…she had an X-r...


December 30, 2023

Too Tired For This Shit

Currently sitting at the E.R. with mom. Apparently she fell when she got to work and busted her knee and hit her head. She called me to pick her up and take her here. On the ride over I presse...


December 30, 2023

4:11 AM

Watching King of the Hill. Bill’s House On this episode Bill takes in a few alcoholics from a halfway house. I don’t like the way it’s poking fun at recovery and the clients. Not cool… Anyways,...


December 29, 2023

Well, I WAS Sleeping

I need to get mom some night vision goggles or some shit. She’s been told not to drive at dark and I’m starting to think she abuses this. You see, if it’s dark I have to chauffeur her around. ...


Can I finally fucking rest already??? I went and got my monthly shot. Ran into the RN from rehab and gave her a hi and a hug. Came home for a quick lunch of leftovers then ma and I were off. Oi...


Another long morning/afternoon of errands. When I finally got home I kicked off my shoes for my house shoes again and stripped from a T-shirt to a tank top. Kept that injured foot elevated the r...


December 26, 2023

Beat Like A Dead Horse

Two milestones today. 60 days sober. Last day of outpatient. 🥳 🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳 Been on the go most of the day. Outpatient this morning then driving mom to her coworker’s (late) Christmas soiree this afte...


December 25, 2023

Ode-Ness

Dream of your embrace Taste you upon my lips Warm my soul Fire up my belly Want you Need you Can’t have you Your comfort in the night You bring the hood And you bring the bad Joyous eyes Hideous ...


December 25, 2023

Merry X-Mas!

Yeah yeah, Christmas, woo! Finally mustered up the courage and gave the female clerk my number. Married with three kids…never wears a wedding band. Bah! Anyways, y’all gather ‘round loved ones,...


December 24, 2023

X-Mas Eve

I just finished The Book Thief. Bittersweet ending. I did enjoy it but it’s so sad in some parts. It’s Christmas Eve and ma and I have done nothing but sit around. Me with my book, her with Hall...


Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.

I.
Am.
Robot.

Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.

I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.