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Hello

by J.E.

Entries 1,603

Page 18 of 65

June 15, 2023

Colt 45

45 days sober I woke up feeling good but as the day has progressed my stomach is giving me stunning displays of rectal pyrotechnics out the butt. I don’t feel good.


But I said sure, okay! Today was day two of outpatient. The counselor is very nice and the two other gals in treatment are a trip. There is a topic of the day which becomes a group discussion (...


June 12, 2023

So Tired...

Up all night, go figure. The first rehab appointment wasn’t bad at all. Small group, our therapist is cool and it basically becomes a group discussion over the topic of the day. Today’s was dea...


June 12, 2023

D'oh Dash

Went down the rabbit hole on Reddit reading about bad Door Dash experiences. I’m of the mind that if I have a vehicle to drive, I’m going to get my food. Hell, I don’t even rely on pizza delive...


And boy are my arms tired. Actually I knew there was no way I was going to get Smokey in the cat taxi. Mom called in to work to help me today. Had to wrap him in a towel and bear hug him the wh...


June 09, 2023

He Wants A Shoehorn

The kind with teeth… Called the Widdle Hotline at 6 AM and had to go for a screening. Had been up all night cause hey, who needs sleep, amirite? Eventually passed out sometime this afternoon an...


Still in that mid, left of spine section as well as lower back and my hip. Did a few loads of laundry, pre dinner dishes, after dinner dishes, fed all the cats, took the trash out and assisted w...


June 06, 2023

Literary Quote

Life can be confusing. Good God, and how. Sometimes it seems like the older I get, the more confused I become. That seems ass-backwards. I thought I was supposed to be getting wiser. Instead...


June 06, 2023

Poor Smoke Smoke

Smokey got onto my lap and began meowing angrily and growling. I noticed he has a limp on his back leg. He went to hide under my bed and (hopefully) fell asleep. I did bring in his can bed and...


Oi! Just got in a little while ago from outpatient assessment. Answering yes to just about every question really makes me want to rethink my life


June 04, 2023

Not Good

Parmesan flavored goldfish crackers suck! I just took two Tylenol. Since stopping weed and booze I get headaches more frequently. Can’t explain it but I hate hate HATE having a headache. Feels...


June 04, 2023

🔥🔥🔥

Trying to sleep when dinner comes back to haunt me. My throat is on fire, my tummy feels queasy and I’m out of antacids. Fuuuuuuuck!!! How did I do this almost every day with a hangover? I thi...


June 03, 2023

That Was Funny!!!

Yeah, I did no lawn work today. Got up at 5:30 to take mom to work. Fell back asleep around 8 something and got up at 1. By then it was already 90 F (32 C) outside. My happy ass was staying i...


I’m a man of wealth and taste… Ate good at dinner but the tomato sauce has come back to haunt me. Breathing fire… I’m very tired but can’t sleep. My heel is throbbing. Yesterday I was walking ...


June 02, 2023

Kittens!!!

Outdoor mama cat (Pistachio) finally got her two babies to come to the back porch. There was some left over wet food from where I fed her earlier and the kittens stepped up and finished it. So ...


Tilapia is good. So are hush puppies. That was dinner. I’m feeling a lot better than I did yesterday. Report to the judge at 10 AM tomorrow for a progress report on how I’m doing. Should be int...


May 31, 2023

30 Days Sober

I’m…in a funk or whatever today.


May 30, 2023

Sleepy Boi

I’m so tired right now. Like my eyes burn and when I blink I can feel tears running out of them. Unfortunately mom had mandatory OT tonight and gets off in one more hour. Guess who has been in...


May 30, 2023

Stupid People

I got a feeling I’m going to have to call animal control on the new neighbors two houses down. They have two pitbull puppies they let wander around the neighborhood with no leash, collar or tag...


May 29, 2023

28 Days/4 Weeks

Suck it addictions! I’m sober. The last two nights I’ve crashed around seven and have slept straight till six AM. The way my body ached I needed it! No dinner, just rest. I feel good this mor...


Got bored with lazing about, spent an hour chainsawing another bush down and taking the branches to the curb. Slowly but surely I’m reclaiming my back yard. Even if my back is killing me now. ...


May 26, 2023

5:33 AM

Mowed the lawn yesterday. Good lord it took a lot out of me for some reason. I actually had to sit down for a breather after I finished the back and a third of the front. It looks better now. ...


May 25, 2023

3:05 AM

Ma and I did some errands today. Actually got her up and out the door by 10:30 this morning. Go me! Paid car insurance, put cash in the bank, got her ‘scripts filled ( and some Doan’s for my b...


May 24, 2023

Penis

Been sleeping on and off all day. Passed out around 11 PM and just woke up, fully awake. Back is feeling better but I slept on my left side so now the shoulder hurts. Great Still in a meh moo...


May 22, 2023

Stick Removed From Ass

I’m feeling better than I did earlier today. Tried to read some and ended up passing out for a few hours. I needed it. For dinner I ordered a pizza cause I’m lazy. A few months ago I went to t...


Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.

I.
Am.
Robot.

Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.

I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.