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Hello

by J.E.

Entries 1,582

Page 12 of 64

Slept on and off throughout the night. I’m showered, shaved, about to take my meds and get some food in me. Today I’m going to take things a bit more seriously instead of floundering in the dee...


My mind is a mess… Mk I feel a bit better. Peeled myself off the couch, showered and got a meal in me. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed today. Haven’t gotten much sleep. Now that I’m clea...


September 15, 2023

Leftovers For Lunch

Since Mom has been feeling a lot better she’s been active in chores around the house and cooking. Last night she made some killer fried chicken thighs with corn and cabbage. Today I’m having le...


September 14, 2023

Dear Sweet Relief Of AC!

Elder bro brought his AC unit. Just turned it on a few minutes ago and it already feels a bit cooler in here. Got the exhaust pipe going out the garage side door. Put some boxes and tacked up...


Was just texting with a friend. I’m craving a big glass of iced pink lemonade. From time to time I get on these kicks where I crave something fruit flavored to drink, be it juice or lemonade or...


September 13, 2023

Bat To The Head

I’ve had a headache all day. There is a knot in the back of my head like I hit it on something. Temples feel squeezed with pressure. Ice pack here I come.


September 13, 2023

Sick Stomach

Mom and I went to Longhorn for lunch because we didn’t want to hear the house up anymore than we have to. The French onion soup is sitting on my stomach like a swampy mess. Never again! After ...


September 12, 2023

Be Serious

I day drank yesterday and spent the rest of the evening sleeping. It’s 3:44 AM and I feel like absolute shit. My chest feels like there is a weight on it, blood pressure is definitely up and I’...


September 10, 2023

Limp Legged

Conked my shin on the left leg last night. Got a nice goose egg that’s humming with pain now. Owie… I had a really wild dream. D&D game, fighting monsters with friends I haven’t seen in ye...


September 09, 2023

Crippity Crap

Gotta go to my brother’s tonight for a birthday get together. He’ll be 50 on the 14th. I honestly don’t want to go. I really don’t feel like seeing my cunty cousin (huge bitch) and they’ll be ...


September 09, 2023

Small Town LOL!!!

Dude… you’re using a hip hop drum machine. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!. Now…the truth… Honestly.


September 08, 2023

Mouth Was On Fire

4:30 AM. Gotta take mom to work in an hour. I ate the last two pieces of chicken from Popeyes while dipping it in Dreamland BBQ sauce. The heat in the sauce has a kick like a mule. After I ate...


September 08, 2023

It's Always Sunny In Philly

Munching on a Philly from Publix. Good dinner. So it did rain last night and got a bit cooler. I actually slept in my bed instead of the couch. Much cooler back there. It’s going to be super...


September 07, 2023

10:25 PM

And it’s fucking 80 degrees in the house. Luckily a cold front is moving in the week. Sweet relief.


September 06, 2023

Almost 4 AM

And it’s still uncomfortably warm in the house. I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight because of it. Only reason I slept any the last few days is because I got blackout drunk. I didn’t drink ...


September 06, 2023

Nommy Num Nums

Grilled burgers last night and boy o boy were they juicy! Tonight I grilled a rack of ribs. I’m nice and stuffed I missed group today, even emailed the counselor about relapsing. Glad I misse...


September 04, 2023

FU AC

I feel like absolute shit. My throat is on fire, my body aches and pretty sure I have a fever. My AC really needs to start working again. Too bad it’s a holiday… And sleep, I’d kill for an unin...


September 04, 2023

Blues Brothers And Cocaine

Did you know they actually budgeted money for cocaine when filming The Blues Brothers? AC is on the fritz again… It’s friggin’ 80 F inside the house. 🔥 Popeye’s chicken for dinner tonight. Tryi...


September 01, 2023

Nap Sleep

Drove mom to get the tag for the new car. Stopped for some quick take out at China Taste. She wanted to take a quick nap after we ate and I said I’d wake her in two hours. Weeell…I fell asleep...


August 31, 2023

Triggered

Went to Guadalajara last night for dinner. Table across from us was pounding down a pitcher of beer and a fish bowl margarita. À Yup, triggered me. Yup, got alcohol. Yup, relapsed BUT!!! The s V...


August 30, 2023

It Means OK To Beerfest

Your cousin, from BAWS-TEN! I dunno what’s going on but I ache. Especially my friggin’ hip. It’s 4 AM and I’m still wide awake. I’m gonna email the counselor and take today off to rest up. My...


August 30, 2023

Chicky Bird Soup Stew

Mom made chicken stew tonight. It’s been a while since we’ve had it and I practically inhaled two bowls. We went out and about today after my group to get over cabin fever. Only issue is after...


August 29, 2023

I Want A Brownie

Called the color code hotline and I had to pee today. Get to the courthouse after group to find out they canceled all tests for the day. Wonderful waste of gas, thank you! I haven’t done shit...


The Simpsons, “Scuse Me While ai Miss The Sky,” on in the background. Boy did I sleep in today! Got up at 11 and ate breakfast. Dozed back off somewhere around noon and woke up after 3:30. Didn...


August 27, 2023

Crab Chowdah!

No, no recipe. Just Iron Chef America on in the background. My right thigh muscle feels super tight. No clue what happened. Hard to move around. (Hour later, it just dawned on me that I had t...


Book Description

I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.

Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.

It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.

I.
Am.
Robot.

Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.

I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.

So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.

I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.

But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.

People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.

This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.

I welcome ProseBox into my life.