Entries 1,582
Page 11 of 64
Thirst
I’m craving juice, lemonade or basically anything with a tart fruit flavor. I drank the last of the pineapple lemonade yesterday. Mmm, pineapple. Speaking of I polished off the fresh pineapple ...
Chili Butt Blast
I’m typing this up from the toilet. 💩 The chili was great but thirty minutes later my stomach started hurting. So here I am… I’m blaming last night’s pizza. 🤷♂️ Some from the last entry asked w...
I'm Fucked Up
Might as well party before I go into inpatient and see my demons full force. Sober
Worm Eats The Rabbit Hole
On my way to pick up mom I looked up Stiff Little Fingers. Bought their first album ten years ago. Played it through. Now I’m in a 2010 kick where I started downloading full discographies. Sun...
Come Scratch My Back!
I’ve got one spot I can’t reach. Another night of a good deep sleep, I could get used to this. It’s a nice, cool 67 outside. FINALLY! Honestly, I want to sleep a little longer. I’m nice and war...
Dolph Ludgren Has A Masters Degree
Google it Brian May (guitarist of Queen) has a PhD and has worked with NASA and has published papers. Dexter Holland of The Offspring has a PhD Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson, Master’s in Elec...
11:11 PM
How the fuck am I still not sleepy?!?!? Over 36 hours now. I need a smoke. Had fajitas tonight, twas good. One Trazodone down, let’s get it started.
Lie Still, Little Bottle
I had the assessment and I’ll be in inpatient within the week. Spoke with the court liaison after and they’ll clear things with the judge and get me a new court date. Is it odd that I’m excited...
2:00 AM
Passed the 24 hour mark around 10 PM. Wide awake… I’m under my blanket but too hot, feel slightly moiste. Very tempted to make myself a some highly caffeinated cup(s) of coffee and just stay up....
Capitalism And Bug Bites
Mom is old school. She’ll send checks in the mail or go to a location to pay a bill. Two months ago apparently T-Mobile put into effect a $5 service charge if you go to the store to pay. That’...
1:16 AM
No one commented on my last entry. 😭 No worries, just one of my wild ideas Had a double whammy today. Piss test at group then piss test at the courthouse. I failed them. THC for group and THC...
Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment!
The Ramones are stuck in my head. It’s 4:16 AM and I’ve given up on trying to sleep. I crawled into an Arthur C. Clarke short story collection and came across a compelling tale titled Who’s Th...
Food Stuffs
I’ve been in a poor mental health funk this past week. Last night was really bad. I am the king of self sabotage. Anyways, mom is feeling bad for me and said we’ll go out to eat tonight. My ch...
Rest
I’ve slept the day away. Woke up with a tension headache and a throat so sore I can feel it in my right ear when I swallow. Yeah, I’m not doing shit today. Heh. Ooo, I do have ice cream. I ...
They're Coming To take Me Away Ho Ho He He Ha Ha
To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men In their clean white coats And they’re coming to take me away HA HA The counselor informed me ...
They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha
Oct. 4th I meet with the head counselor to get a referral for River Valley. That’s the free inpatient I’d like to go to. Not sure how long it will take but if I have to go then I have to go. ...
That Was A Bust
So I drove mom and aunt to the reunion. We were there maybe thirty minutes. My aunt didn’t want to go but Mom was insistent. She said she only knew two people there. While she did her thing I ...
You've Done So Much For Me And I Love You
But I don’t like you anymore… Got some…info today and I’ve been in my head since. I reached out to a girl who graduated from group if she’s ever been in an inpatient. She told me her bf is in t...
Confused Court For Church
Today was graduation day for a lot of folks out of mental health court. All the counselors were lined up, the judge stood behind a podium and handed out certificates. I wish I was joking. Befo...
Drunk Robots And Abscess Tooth
Pretty sure it’s abscess. Only problem is the area that hurts is a bridge so it’s three teeth…in front. I don’t want to get it all pulled and look like poor white trash but I have no insurance....
Hip To Be ⬛
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m the kind of guy who always crosses his legs when he sits. All day I’ve been wanting to cross my right leg over and each time I try pain shoots through the hip where...
Body Buzzed
Went and got my second injection before group today. I swear I get a body high off of it for like an hour. Only me and one other person so they combined two groups today. We were on the other ...
12:26 AM
This is getting old. Been up since 6. Group, ran errands, cooked. Wide. Freakin’. Awake. At least it’s cold in here, FINALLY. 🥶 Feels amazing. If I’m up in another hour I think that left o...
Today Was Nice
Peacock messaged last night asking if I was free for lunch. I replied that I was and a when and where. I’m not going to lie, this morning she said meet at the new Publix on the opposite side of...
Right Side Of The Face
While enjoying my Cajun turkey sandwich for lunch I bit down funny and now my upper teeth hurt. The pain is shooting into the nasal cavities on the right side of my face. Any of my long time re...
Book Description
I came on my own volition.
I am the man that got away.
Work -
Tonight I clocked in at 4:30 PM and it was suddenly Wednesday when I worked 6:45 AM to 6 PM with only an hour lunch break and on my feet the rest. I was trying to relieve Logan in the back who was frying chicken both for our loose case and boxed hot case so he could go to lunch. Instead I got mixed with a redneck who wanted a Philly steak and cheese. I made his sandwich to order only to be confronted with the elderly gentleman behind him. He, to this shit. o, wanted a Philly. I was annoyed. Angry. Granted chicken side cooking sucks At least you’re away from the customers. I can, “pretend”, like I’m cooking chicken in the back but dick around for ten minutes, which actually rarely happens. You learn to smile and accept this shit. Made him his sandwich, didn’t stop to ask the next customer if he needed help. Instead, went straight to the back and told Logan to take his lunch, I was taking over, box up what just came up out the fryer and we’re good.
It was just one of those days. People wonder why I get stoned before work.
I.
Am.
Robot.
Tell.
Me.
What.
Is.
Next.
I’m versatile.
Put me in any situation and I come victorious.
Even on the bad days.
So when I go the hardcore bitch mode of my assistant manager on Wednesday after my eleventh hour there. I got irate.
I know she does a job for two.
Her boss/my boss sucks ass.
But fuck....I’m part time.
If you want to bitch and yell about the shit that the full timers didn’t do…bitch to them.
DON’T MAKE ME DO THEIR FUCKING SHIT THE LAST HOUR I’M THERE!
I’ve been working for this slave camp for three and a half years.
I lost my insurance last year due to me being stupid and the store manager catching on. Which is actually a big blessing. I haven’t missed a day in a year.
But I’ve been there for every shift.
Sleep, no sleep?
Fuck it.
Show up for work.
The computer takes over on schedule and now I don’t qualify for our good insurance.
I have to take the government stuff?
OK.
I’m a democrat.
Lifelong.
BUT FUCK YOU OBAMA!
Don’t tell me what to do.
I’ll go another year without health insurance.
I want my good Blue Cross Blue Shield Back.
Make my job give me the hours back for insurance.
People close to me say I need to see a therapist.
After A.A. and an almost check in at rehab.
Maybe I do need anti-depressants.
This is a rant with no one I know reading this.
Its liberating.
I welcome ProseBox into my life.
