Entries 454
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All is Well
Things have been alright as of late. I am happy for the first time in forever. Not just happy though... almost satisfied. It's like everything I have worked at for the last 6 years has came tr...
He Breaks His Silence
My heart and soul was completely shattered. He wants to take my baby girl to live with him for the next school year. Of course I said, "no." But... He's basically telling me I am punishing hi...
I Don't Wanna Go
The longer I stay here in my home town of, O, the happier I get. I just love being close to my family. I just love letting Lily play outside and I feel safe that a drive by shooting won't occur...
Weekend at C's
Spent the weekend at C's house. Remember when I said I wouldn't be staying over here anymore? All it took was one invitation and I was here. Pathetic, on my part... I know. He took Lily and m...
Goodbye Open Diary
It's hard to believe that after 15 years they are shutting the site down. I will miss that site. I love the way it was set up. It was so user friendly. However, I am optimistic for Prosebox...
Me First
I've said this before, but this time it's different. At least I really hope so. C has a new girlfriend. I know he doesn't say he and she are together but I found out that him, her and my daugh...
It's Time
Actually, it's way past time... No more waiting. No more bending over backwards doing things for people that hurt me. No more sacrificing my happiness for anyone. I have one life. I am final...
Sigh
I'm in Love with C. Even though, He'll probably never love me. Even though, It's painful for me to do so. I just may wait for him until I die. Which is an incredibly stupid thing for me to do...
Vividly Emotional Dream
I had a powerful and emotional dream two nights ago. As I struggled to sleep that night I went from tears to numbness back to tears. I finally fell into a restless sleep and began to dream... ...
There's Always Hope
Well, I think he gets it now. Not completely, but at least he knows. It's still not very likely, but it's not a "no," right? He told me today that I am a good mother. That makes me feel good....
I Have One Shot
So I took it. I asked him directly for another child. I need this. I need it more than anyone knows. He keeps asking things from me, so I decided it was time to ask him for something. High...
A Quick Talk With C
Well, C and I finally talked a little about C's son. I totally chickened out about talking about C and my past, but I did talk about his son and my thoughts of moving to Kzoo. I told him my con...
My Snowy Story and My New Year's Resolution
So much to be thankful for and it's not even Thanksgiving. I left my job at the hospital at 11:30pm after it had been snowing for about a day and a half. The shoveling and plowing was now bei...
This Year's To Do List
There are a few things I am going to do in the year 2014. They aren't really resolutions, they are things I will do. Rather than things I will try to do. Firstly, I will start running again. ...
2013: A Year in Review
What an amazing year I have had! January: Started one of the most amazing years of my life! February: Lily was invited to be a flower girl in my cousin's wedding. I started a diet in which I st...
Christmas 2013
Christmas was very nice this year. All of the gifts I received were well thought out and useful. My 5 year old daughter told me she didn't want any gifts this year. She was serious about it....
Pushing On 11-27-2013
Pushing On Wednesday, November 27, 2013 Totally had a meltdown today. Yeah. I was that girl today. God, I just love it when I can't keep myself under control. But, I guess sometimes you ...
Updates on C and Me 11-22-2013
Updates on C and Me Friday, November 22, 2013 I am still trying to accept the fact that C will never be in love with me. However, each day it gets easier. And to be honest, he makes it...
Slow Down and See the Big Picture 11-16-2013
Slow Down and See The Big Picture Saturday, November 16, 2013 The last few years have been an absolute blur. I started school, went through school, and finished it. I was a great adventu...
Things 11-09-2013
Things Saturday, November 09, 2013 Things between C and I are helpless. I had a dream about him last night. In the dream he cared about me and at one point held me. When I woke up, I woke...
First Visit Since Split 10-28-2013
First Visit Since Split Monday, October 28, 2013 C came over today so he could pick Lily up from school. They hung out and played for awhile. As long as she loves him, that's all that ...
Standing My Ground, I am Worth It 10-28-2013
Standing My Ground, I Am Worth It Monday, October 28, 2013 He finally sent a text today. It said that he just wanted to say hi and that he misses us. We miss him too... but that doesn't ...
He's Gone 10-27-2013
He's Gone Sunday, October 27, 2013 He picked to leave me. Not that we were ever together. But, he chose to go away. And that's okay. It was his choice. But, damn, couldn't he at least...
Oh So Incredibly Alone 10-25-2013
Oh So Incredibly Alone Friday, October 25, 2013 It will get easier. I just don't know when. Only time. My heart keeps saying, "come back come back come back." My head keeps saying, "Go. ...
Oh Canada 10-25-2013
Oh Canada Friday, October 25, 2013 I thought I was doing better today, and perhaps I was. Now I just have a sinking feeling in my heart. Half of my problem is that I haven't slept. The ...
Book Description
Past public entries from 2002 coming from opendiary.com
