Chapter 9 : Oil Above Water
by Princess Pitbull.com
Entries 40
Page 1 of 2
Untitled
Anyone else have to endure a weekly family torture session?? I mean weekly family dinner?? This weekly family fuckday is going to have to be discontinued. So far the highlights of this weekend’s...
Galileo’s Head Was On The Block...
“Are you still losing weight?” She asked me. I let the question hang in air knowing that there would be no right answer. The way I look has long been my family’s favourite ammunition against me. ...
Kiss The Demons Out Of My Mind...
The void is unrelenting. Obviously. It produces this dull, lingering ache that loiters in the middle me yet there’s nothing I can do or take to stop it. I’m caught in this ridiculous crossroads ...
Dropping Like The Grains In A Hourglass...
They say that Self-Awareness is a good thing, that to be self-aware is a positive attribute. I’m not so sure. What if you’re a person like me and your self-awareness feeds directly in to your men...
With The Lights Out It’s Less Dangerous
People tell me they worry about me. They worry because I won’t open up, they worry because I’m so dark minded, they worry because I seem so lost inside. The past has taught me many lessons; the m...
Hello there; The Angel from My Nightmare
I’ve lived my life trying not to be a product of my environment. I don’t want to be a product of my environment but my environment doesn’t want to infiltrated by me either. I’ve spent my whole li...
Did A Thing...
In my journalling lifetime OD went down and came back, and PB threatened to go down, sooooo I bought a domain to run on so that I’ll never lose this. You can find it here.... http://princesspitb...
My Shadow Is The Only One Who Walks Beside Me...
I’m not okay right now. Life is essentially a rope swing that I’ve thrown on and I’m clinging on for dear life because if I let go then I will fall and drown in the abyss below. The darkness tha...
I’m Ripping Into the Swan
So some of you have probably read long enough that you remember Alice. The girl from before I met Him. Well she got back in contact. Turns out she’s heartbroken and fucking her pain away having s...
Binge. Starve. Binge. Binge. Starve. Repeat ad nauseaum. I binged at the weekend. Not as much as before. I couldn’t purge, circumstances wouldn’t allow it. There’s more than one way to skin a bi...
When You Wake Me, Call Me Darling...
So… I nearly fell in to Mundy’s bed last night. I caught myself just in time. What is fucking wrong with me? I like that we’re friends but it’s ridiculous. She’s in love with me. She told Esme, w...
A Sullen Riot Penetrating Through Her Mind...
I wanted 4-5kg off this week. 3.5kg came off. Gutted. Absolutely fucking gutted. I missed the spot I wanted by 1.5lbs. All for the sake of 5000 calories that I couldn’t cut away. I lost 7.5...
Take These Broken Wings And Learn To Fly...
So… Year 1/5 is done and dusted, it’s not exactly been academically challenging, but it has been challenging in other ways. Let me start with my classmates. I can tolerate 5/20. They have been t...
Waste Away With Me...
Ana and Mia continue to rise…I’m not complaining, they’re making me feel strong in some twisted sense. I know it’s not healthy, but nor is the extra weight that I’m carrying, so why not let the...
Today is a dark day. Internally there’s a small war breaking out. The three Queens have risen. The EDs are running pretty freely, and it’s everything I have not to sit and slice in to my thigh b...
This is the story of a girl....
[who cried a river and drowned the whole world…] TRIGGER WARNING : This entry is full of graphic descriptions regarding Self Harm and Eating Disorders…but it has a happy-ish ending. This is a t...
Closer To The Prize At The End Of The Rope...
So, things got worse. Darker. I went to a really bad place in my head and in the end I was terrified of what I might do. Talking therapy was simply too triggering but the Hypnotherapy is working...
The Subsequent Fall Was Inevitable...
Does every good day have to be followed by an absolute shiter? Today was Talking Therapy day. I already had my back up, especially seeing as I never got to go home at the weekend there because o...
Show The World You’ve Got That Fire...
Today has been a good day. Well mostly. It’s been the little things. Chilli Sweeties, Hot Lemon Tea, oh and getting to smash a sociological/health promotion assessment. I fucking love Tuesday cl...
She Stands Apart From The Crowd...
So… I finally got an appointment for the rape counselling place. It was today. You know your life’s been a complete mindfuck when the counsellor is trying to remain impartial but even her jaw dro...
Now The Clock Is Running...
So I finally got an appointment for the rape counselling. Tomorrow. 12pm. It’s your bog standard talking therapy. NLP is proving fairly effective, which has been a pleasant surprise but Dr S feel...
You Gotta Talk To Joey...
So… It was Therapy Day again today. We’re both sick as fuck, so a little less Clinical Hypnosis and a more or less complete focus on NLP techniques. Was I skeptical? Yups! Will they work? More th...
I Can’t.
My heart hurts. Really fucking hurts. I was working late in the college because sometimes life gets in the way of essay writing opportunities and my phones starts buzzing away. DADDY. It was the...
The Call Isn’t Out There, It’s Inside Me...
We all have labels, whether we like it or not. Some of my labels I begrudge having as they dilute and steal from my identity, others I quite like because they add to, compliment and highlight my...
Dear Kit,
It’s been a week. 7 whole days since you last slid relief across your thigh and watched your pain bleed in to the water. The urges have been there, but you’re finding ways to cope with them, to ...