Entries 40

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I feel that I’m a different person every week now. Of course, my mental illness has gotten worse. My current diagnosis makes that obvious. But I mean, it’s worse from my teenage mental progressio...

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I feel like shit right now. I wish I knew when/if something is a good idea or not. I wish there was a specific purpose I have in life and I wish I could know what it is. I’m not asking for these...

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It’s been a month and 2 days since I left… Again… Finally. It’s final. So much more fucked up shit. He was getting high with his dad… There’s so much that came with that.... I’m away from him in ...

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I’ll leave… I don’t want to be here so there is no point in even staying if I don’t want to be with him… I know he still withhold things that is said or done against me. There is more going on a...

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That’s all they are. Can’t wait to get back on my feet again and get away from them all. That’s all I’ concerned about right now. Screw you, fake fiancee.

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He acts like one. Filthy attitude, filthy language, and always crying to his mommy when he’s in trouble. Can’t even take an Uber to get to work but he would spend the rest of his money on drugs ...

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Being around people for too long is too much for my mind. I can’t stand it!

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I want to run away again, all by myself this time. I just wish I knew of a fairly healthy way to do it and no be stranded.

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Well, I’m gonna go see him today. I know this won’t help me at all. I’m so impatient and just waiting for him to be realeased. Then when we can speak in private I’ll say what needs to be said. Ma...

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So I’m walking… 🙄 I see the same mechanic, that looked at my car a week ago, on the other side of town. Embarrassing…

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Maybe even you too. At least at the moment. I let you put me in this situation. I hate it! I miss you.

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Maybe even you too. At least at the moment. I let you put me in this situation. I hate it! I never felt so much like a fucking outcast and recluse to damn much.

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Since my feelings are genuine, I miss him a little at the moment.

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Is all I want I guess, or need… to not be so hard on myself. I know I’m not “tripping” or exaggerating most of the time. So it’s nice hearing someone else say the same things I’ve said to him and...

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It sucks wondering if I’m ashamed of myself Or Finding it unbelievable and surreal that I’m involved with someone you’d shake your head at and ridicule on Intervention. The shit that just happen...

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I just wish I could have a better attitude and more positive emotions. He’s so excited just like he would be when flying here from work… I like to think he’s why I feel this way… If I wasn’t too ...

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All of this time I finally see him take them with his phone to go pee for 10 minutes. Smh. Now I cant sleep…

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I don’t know what it is right now… An anger from no where. I cant get if out.. I dont feel like expressing I dont know what to feel or think Or say. Or do

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I just find it odd how hyper-like he seemed this week. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t been doing anything but he still has been, he’s been doing more, or he is like thag when he isn’t on ...

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A memory I’d like to takeover. Me, him… Not her in his head to make him smile. Instead, my warmth, touch, smell, care, love.

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We’re moving closer to his biches and buddies… Not only will I be annoyed by more people but shits just about to go to fucking hell now… I thought he’d never be home he has his truck back, but to...

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Whatever pleasure people get for holding their peace, keeping secrets, simply lying and hiding shit that would seriously hurt someones feelings, are fucking lucky to have such a quality.

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Well he also must notice how much I have my eyes on him… It’s funny how he’s really just sitting here goong through his socks and shit as if henreally wants to organize them. He’s suppose to be t...

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I knew it. He thinks of her every time… Then actually made a fucking comment about her… Then cut the song short, glanced at me and asked if I’m okay. As if he purposely played it abd said it to s...

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He finally checked me out. Of course because we have matching t-shirts to wear as we go out today. Proud of him.

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