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I’m back
I may not be for long. I let shit get out of hand. To the point that I don’t have my car anymore. Ugh…
Exactly a year
A year from when I first saw his texts to her. The day I got evidence of it all…
Second thoughts
Here it goes again. Maybe it was really that your guilt made you lie that you want me because you don’t and have been getting pleasure from someone else…
I’m not vulnerable
Anymore… Those many times you rejected me. Especially when you’d be going on a flight to your lovely place, or a night I didn’t stay over, you’d go get high and satisfy your dirty desires with so...
Please
Give me a good job again. I won’t let anyone take that away from me again. I just want to go back to being happy with myself and taking care of myself again. Today marks the first day I ruined th...
Things you can’t avoid
It’s so aggravating that he’s such a yes-man. He only does that with me. Eventually it got to a point that he acts it up every time I’m not looking or listening. I know he still talks about her,...
Why not sooner?
Why weren’t you this way before all the damage? I’ve pushed myself away and I’m sick of it because it confuses me. I actually wish you go back to doing me like you use to.
I can feel it
I’m getting closer after each arguement. Okay, I’ll get to it. This is what happened tonight. I take a shower to wash my hair and ferl clean and change into comfortable clothes. He opens the bath...
Drowning someone out
Today I’ve had few self awareness moments. I noticed that most of the time you spoke, your words went in one of my ears, right out of the other. Didn’t give a shit how obvious it was for you to s...
It never changes
I don’t even want you anymore. I just decided to be in a decide mood tonight. I’m only sitting here testing myself perhaps, but more of the fact that I’m still trying to figure things out… Maybe ...
Body language
I wonder what jobs there are that focuses on human body language and has decent long-term pay. I’m awesome at body language. Perhaps though I should have just majored in Psychology.
Sadness
I try to reach out so many times. Too many times. The body language kills me so much. Besides the other wonders and shady shit. I wonder what he even thinks of me. How much am I worth to him or w...
He keeps a screen between us.
I’m okay if he goes out with friends or family or goes out to be deceitful and cheat on me. I don’t care to control him and I feel bad when I stress him the fuck out by trying to discuss my issue...
I hope I fall asleep tonight
Because I’ll be more stressed staying up trying to find out to get nothing, resolve nothing, than if I sleep and not think of you or deal with you for a few hours.
Avoidance
Just because you are always deceitful and lying, doesn’t mean I am. You aren’t upset with ME. You are worried what others think of you if it’s negative. Also, you’re frustrated because your mind ...
The cords may be cut
Things are too wrong, fake, and forced. I have to pull myself away again. This time leave…
It’s happening again
I don’t know wtf he’s doing. He contradicted himself earlier. He isn’t concerned of me anymore. I don’t know wgat triggered it. Well. I’m wondering if somethibg I did or said triggered him. Eithe...
I must still feel it
I still feel hurt. Betrayal. I don’t get taken seriously. I get taken for granted… I don’t know what to do with myself actually.
Whats it called?
I’m a tually one of those people who had it all together for themself.... Then ruined themselves for “love”. SMH
He’s too polite
Or too much of a punk bitch. I know I dont really turn him on. When I vent about my insecurities, NOW, he pretend that he’s attracted to me abd satisfied. I know that he’ll still go for someone ...
Note to self
The things that you suspect may bother you. That’s because he isn’t being fair, honest, faithful. He knows you know. He continues to negatively mess with your mind.
I just want answers to my questions
Just as you expect an honest answer from me.
It'll never end
Unless I decide it’s finally the day I leave and never return. Now, of course we are looking/smelling through vape liquids of his sister’s that she got from him and his ex…
I did it...
I don’t think I mentioned it previously but he got me a ring finally. Nothing special… it was just another impulsive, not so meaningful purchase he made. I remember early in our relationship (so...
Movie Monday
Oops, didn’t think to have movie time later and I could have gone with him… I guess that’s a good sign that I didn’t even think that until he mentioned it.... I just needed to get out and not be...
Book Description
My thoughts while I’m high and when I come down.
