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Page 7 of 59

I wanted to hit up the gym this evening but it is going to be too busy. It was unmanageable yesterday. It was overrun with teens and tweens. This is why I prefer to go in the morning. I ended up ...

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I’m trying to tune into myself but I can’t connect, for better or for worse. It’s like I’m tongue-tied. Thought-tied? Emotion-tied? I’m not numbed out, I’m not sure what this is. Could it be that...

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The saga continued with my supervisor. At our morning meeting, she brought up some of the metrics, and long story short, I told her that I see a pattern that looks like theft. Point blank, she to...

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I feel like my therapist is going to ask me how I’m feeling on a scale of 1-10 when I see him on Friday. I hate that question. Kmood = [A][D] / [Fnet] The mood constant equals the...

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I had an appointment with my ND (Naturopathic Doctor) today. Things seem to be going in the right direction. We discussed my anxiety and depression at length this time around. My anxiety was sky-...

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I should be doing a few practice questions right now, in my chem class, but the material is lost on me. The unit is on Acids and Bases. It’s my own fault that I am lost. We have a test on the uni...

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Know your story. That is one of the big lessons I learned early in my self-improvement journey. I have never really done that and I’m not about to start now. At least, not go deep. Currently, my...

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I cannonballed into my therapy session yesterday. I didn’t waste any time booking an appointment after my consultation. The session was intense. I didn’t expect it to be and we haven’t even gone ...

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My consultation with the Cognitive Behavioural Therapist went well. He wants to blend it with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This one is about changing our relationships with our though...

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I had a moment today where I was second-guessing if I need support from a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. That was short-lived. The consultation is tomorrow morning over the phone. I hope it is ...

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I definitely feel like I am seventeen again. At this moment. I have to go face the music and go to class. It feels like the first day of school which is what every day felt like back when my soci...

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All my scars are open. All of my suppressed trauma bubbled up to the surface last weekend. As we know. It’s not like things can be normal. At least, I can’t just be normal. My version of normal. ...

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I’m hungover today. The guilt will hit me later. I feel like I cheated myself but I shan’t punish myself for a good time. I wasn’t going to drink but I felt peer pressure. All of my friends, who ...

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Be careful what you wish for. I said that I didn’t want to care anymore. Now I can’t care if I tried. This too shall pass. Who I am is collapsing in on itself, for better or for worse. I always ...

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I am not in control today. I don’t even care. I soaked in the tub when I got home. Did a detox bath. I lay naked in bed after. On a towel for a half hour because I continue to sweat, which is th...

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Social media has spawned a community of neurodivergents. I’ve mentioned it before and I find them very menacing. It’s another way people are getting their narcissist supply. Narcissism is not sep...

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Yesterday, I surrendered to the part of my psyche that makes me act compulsively. I did not want to exert any of my mental energy. Call it a day off. It’s not a heinous pattern of behaviors, mind...

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My previous entry gave me a catharsis I didn’t know I needed. The week that followed was like walking on air. I was not weighed down. That couldn’t possibly last, of course. My weekend was not a...

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After my previous entry, I started to feel very bummed out. Almost depressed. I didn’t know why until yesterday when I was supposed to go to class. I feel like I heard it out loud from Marcello t...

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The pain isn’t happening when you are drunk, high, hooking up, having that affair, eating junk food, binge-watching Netflix, making that purchase, etc. We just forget that the pain is happening. ...

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Nostalgia is a time when you knew your place. My memory can take me right into a moment. It won’t just be pictures. I will remember the smells, the tastes, the sounds, and even my emotions. I wil...

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I let myself cry today. Nothing special happened. I got emotional watching something and I surrendered myself to it. I was hoping for catharsis. Instead, all of my scars opened. What’s the opport...

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We’ve all hit our winter breaking point in my city. We hit it a long time ago. We are in the homestretch and spring cannot come fast enough. I’m tired of the freezing cold. We had a flurry last n...

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I’m not a racist, fascist, misogynistic bigot… unless a) I’m driving. b) I contact customer support. c) I’m trolling. I’m not a good person, I’m not a bad person. I’m a whole person. However, I...

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In case we don’t understand where I’m coming from. I used to be the person the world wanted me to be. The person I thought they wanted, I should say. Being gay is who you are. A therapist once sa...

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