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My mind dissociates from my body causing a functional freeze. This is when I will rot in my bed for most of the day. Every small task feels too overwhelming. I have not experienced this in almost...

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V is for vagina in this part of the entry. A customer at work was hiding nothing with her blue tights. They were shorts? She was spilling out of them. Long black hair with extensions, botched bot...

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I broke the ice with my roommate. I haven’t said a word to her in almost two weeks. My work bought me an individual vegan pizza, which I brought home for her as I don’t eat hybridized wheat. It f...

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I am frustrated with the dealership I purchased my car from. I made a $500 deposit to secure the vehicle. It is supposed to be deposited back but no action has been taken yet. I did reach out to ...

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Today was long and full of terrors. My night was as well. I dreamt about Gods and monsters. Candace Owens was there too. I don’t know what the dream was about but I kept waking up terrified. This...

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My therapist paralleled my previous entry. We discussed a lot of what I mentioned without me having to bring it up. I wanted to talk about my anger issues. My anxiety and depression have been abs...

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I went 38 years without knowing that I had ADHD. I’m very high-functioning. I never gave it any thought until I experienced the ADHD paralysis this year. It brought me back to how I was in high s...

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My reality check bounced. I say that in jest. I am tuning back into my fragile little world though. I’m feeling stressed about that job interview I had yesterday. It’s out of my hands now. I have...

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I was thrown off by my first interview question. First of all, what are your pronouns? I am not that confident about my interview today. I’ll have to wait up to two weeks to hear back from them....

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I feel like I have so much to say but I can’t get anything out. The getaway was nice but it is time to return to my so-called life. Lenstar’s neighbor was my math teacher at the Adult Education ...

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It was a rough start to my trip on Friday. While I was loading my car, I managed to lock myself out of the building for 40 minutes. I dropped my keys at some point. I was rage-packing and got clu...

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They are just thoughts. I have been telling myself. That is my current mantra. The missing piece that my therapist gave me. Today, my thoughts were racing so hard that it felt like a hole was bur...

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I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause. Though my mood...

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It’s been almost a week and I can’t get my stomach to act right. It’s like every bite I swallow feels like a sucker punch. After I quit smoking, I couldn’t handle smoke of any kind. After I quit ...

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I just caught myself in avoidance mode. I feel like I have to rush to do all the little things so that I can tackle my crisis list after that. I’m going to stop dead in my tracks and just enjoy m...

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I still have butterflies for no reason. Well, I suppose there is a reason. I must be beside myself about my new car. While I was napping, I noticed that my stomach was throbbing, internally. I u...

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I’m not sure what I was expecting with this car purchase. I felt let down for no reason last night. Just a scosh and for no reason. Somewhere in my psyche, I must have given it the script that it...

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I brought my 2021 Charger home today. I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s just a lot to take in. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited about it! I didn’t get a chance to play with it because I had ...

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The week was long and full of terrors. I’m so glad that it is over. My mother sent me a text this morning. She is trying to burst my bubble. She is raining on my parade. She is… being my mother....

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I just made a $500 deposit to secure the 2021 Dodge Charger. I go in on Saturday to finalize everything. I am pretty excited about it. The search is over. I remembered that I had a status card s...

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Right after I wrote my entry yesterday I took a dip in the pool to cool off. My anger issues have been under control since I started going to bed at 8 PM. Though, it hasn’t been perfect. While I ...

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The shock bled the red from my face. My roommate let her hair down the other day. She stepped in front of me and it was all I could see. Her alopecia has gotten worse. Who cares?! It didn’t do a...

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Besides the car hunt, how is life? My mother asked me. My life is on hold until further notice. This has been so exhausting. I am spooked by my upcoming shifts. It is a few weeks away but they d...

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If my heart could beat it would break my chest. Sure, I have big brain energy but I forget that my heart is even bigger. My relationship with my mother is very precious to me. Her news makes my h...

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My mother was diagnosed with COPD. She told me this morning. I haven’t had time to process it but I am feeling devastated. It’s pretty heavy on my heart. I keep getting flashbacks of my childhood...

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