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There were a lot of age jokes in the movie I watched last night. It triggered an existential crisis. My age sunk in. I’m 39 and I have nothing to show for it. I look back and it’s just so much...

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I am feeling less raw and sensitive today. We accrue one paid day off a month that we can bank. These are what wellness days are for, you dummy. Is all I kept thinking about at the office yest...

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Here is a random ChatGPT convo I had the other day: I put on an episode of Ancient Aliens, I used to love that show. Across history and culture, we were clearly connected by something. The star...

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I’m not emotionally intelligent. Ignoring how I feel is the smart thing to do. That is the belief I had for most of my life. Emotions have mass. They take up space and metastasize when you don’t...

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When it came to that community walk, I made it to the shelter. I made it into the shelter. We were minutes away from heading out when I handed them my vest and told them that I had to go. Jonah ...

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Twelve hours of sleep was not on my bingo card. I had a very intense dream about work. When I say intense, it was just very vivid. Jackie, who filled in as the Program Director is now the acti...

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Building willpower was the wrong approach. I need to reduce the cravings and the impulses. A little suffering is good for the soul. I need to build resilience. I feel my compulsive nature trying...

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I woke up thinking about my kids at work. Yesterday, I finally got a hold of the foster care worker who has two of our participants. He has had them for months. Once I explained that we could pi...

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The plot at work only thickened a little bit. They rekeyed our building. They came and cleared out one of the offices and there was a job posting for the secretary position. In case we don’t kno...

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Fuck me? Fuck you! Was the vibe about life on Saturday. After I called in, it felt like I had dropped all the cares in the world. I hadn’t felt so alive and unburdened in years. I tossed caution...

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I feel like I just had the best sleep of my life. Just under 12 hours. However, I am developing a bit of a cough. My chest has been burning for weeks, and now it’s just itchy. This cough feels s...

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Well, at least I can say that the plot hasn’t thickened at work over the last couple of days. I had a first aid course yesterday so I wasn’t at the office. I hate icebreakers. I had to tell ev...

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My doctor went over my bloodwork. I don’t have any of the deficiencies that I thought I would have. Especially since I have been vegan for nine years. I don’t have DHT. My testosterone is higher...

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It is really challenging but I don’t want to catastrophize about the events happening at work. Last month, our person at the top went on leave. Her second-in-command quit. I walked into work t...

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I caved on Saturday and went to the office. I missed my kids too much. I can’t be still. I am robbing myself of the present. I get a deep sinking feeling whenever I try. I have to be internall...

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I am not a machine. Everyone got to see that I am human yesterday. I am cooked. Medium rare. I am taking today off unless I decide at the last second to go in. I miss our kids so much it hurts...

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I hit my breaking point with my content addiction. The worst of my content addiction is pornography. I was frustrated with my therapist in my last session when I told him that I wanted to tack...

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Virginia brought up Jonah yesterday. She took the long way but asked me if I had a crush on him. I confirmed it. When she introduced us in December, she said she felt the energy between us. She ...

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I talked it out with my coordinator about him shrinking the program. If he wanted, he could be an authoritative, totalitarian, dictator. Nobody would stop him. Instead, he creates space for me. ...

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I don’t want to learn the culture of my people. I want to learn God through the culture of my people. I Spy With My Little Eye: Uncivil Rights I felt like I was in the twilight zone at the Harm...

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On Saturday, I wanted to do everything but forced myself to do nothing. Today, I want to do nothing but have to force myself to do everything. I hit a breaking point with my diet yesterday. Dis...

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You will never win the war. You can only win the battle day by day. I understand myself better knowing that ADHD was my problem this whole time. My brain is manipulative. I am conditioning myse...

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I was so proud of my boys. It didn’t look like it was going to happen but we came through at the last second and showcased our song at the Round Dance. It was an amazing turnout. This was our ...

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I had a dream that my elder had a dream that I did Sundance. This is a nightmare. If any of the elders in my life have a dream that I did our most sacred ceremony, then it is non-negotiable. I h...

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A little suffering is good for the soul. It builds resilience. This is the thought I have before I push myself out of my comfort zone. At the Harm Reduction conference yesterday, I grabbed the m...

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