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You need to own your story so that you can change it. What is your story? I’m just having a scheduled existential crisis. I wish I had a shaman to interpret the will of creator. I am asking fo...

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Good luck with your bread. Said Andy while he was eating the toppings off his pizza. Avoiding the crust because he’s on a keto diet. Look at us! I said. Two grown ass men afraid of toast!. Bev...

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I got my sister to look for an apartment or house to rent. She loves doing that. I am tired of living with this 40-year-old teenager. She can suffer from her dumb cow’s disease on her own. I ha...

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Yesterday had all of the ingredients for a good day cake. It fell flat. It was bitter. I woke up way too early for my own good because I was too excited about finally being able to go to the g...

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How do three men in their thirties not have $800 between them? I read in a meme. This was a cannon event. This was several years ago but I couldn’t take the shame so it inspired me to start acti...

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After I wrote my last entry, I went to town around the apartment. That battle on that battlefield that I described got very intense again. I think I need to write every single day or else my min...

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I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t go window shopping today. So, while I was window shopping today I managed to spook myself. I was annoyed by how powerless I was to my impulse to leave a...

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I’m trying to get my spending under control. My window shopping is still out of control but I’m not making superfluous purchases. I’m at least good at convincing myself that what I want is a mus...

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I forget that my roommate has a Virgo moon. She would be matching my clean and organized energy if it wasn’t for her dumb cow’s disease. She is a Taurus. A lazy Taurus. I think she has an Aries ...

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Today was a success. I’m a little choked up about it because it was absolutely wonderful. We had a feasting ceremony with our participants. All but one made it. They brought their families. We h...

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The plan was to go all out at the gym this morning but I have a bit of a sinus cold. My body needs rest. I’m not coughing or sneezing. It’s just like someone left the faucet running. I’m a freak...

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Our communications director came to my office to praise me for the photos I took of our group program last weekend. He was very excited. They are the best shots he’s been sent. He can use them f...

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On the first Thursday of every month, my organization has a piping ceremony. Andy took me to that first thing this morning. It was beautiful. This is what I wanted when I first applied. I wanted...

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They’re just thoughts. I started to remind myself. I see you. I know what you are and you can’t hurt me anymore. This put my Life Dysmorphia into remission. It created a healthier relationship w...

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Not me trying to induce depression. It’s been over two months without any mood disorder episodes. It was very concerning for me on my ride to the gym this morning. Is this normal? This was n...

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Diego practices our culture, I asked him yesterday if he ever participated in a Sundance Ceremony. He has been participating every year for the last five years. This is part of his recovery jour...

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Am I self-validating my experience? Riddle me that. My therapist wants me to explore that question whenever I am feeling some type of way. Is what I am experiencing representative of reality? I...

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At the end of my therapy session, my therapist realized that we barely even had a session. It was more like two friends catching up and shooting the shit. We should just be friends and talk off ...

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I’m at a point… but I don’t know the point. Being numbed out came with my mood disorders, which are still awol. Instead of suppressing my emotions, I make space for them. They have mass, I know...

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All I need is a little crisis to get motivated, apparently. To avoid feeling anything, I worked on my list of things that I avoid. My grandmother is in the hospital again. She is getting surgery...

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I’m stewing on my eBook. I’m not avoiding it. I don’t want this to be another thing that I start and never finish. In a captured essence, we have lightworkers but I want to make room for shadow ...

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I’m not comfortable at my new job just yet. Yes, it is a new workplace but also a new workforce. I am giving myself a lot of grace while I adjust. I don’t adapt to change well. Externally, I do....

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And now, a song from the heart: My roommate is a big fat cow. The biggest cow in the whole wide world. She’s a lazy cow, a crazy cow, she is such a stupid cow. My roommate is a cow she is such a...

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My weekend is pretty booked up. Ange is picking me up in a few hours and we are hitting up all of the thrift stores as we can. We are also going to the big farmers market. I was able to tell tha...

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I met with my first youth yesterday. Andy had Diego and I join in on his one-on-one. We ordered a pizza, made medicine bags, watched a short movie, and then played Fortnite for most of the after...

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