Entries 35
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Drunk...
I am a wee bit drunk and hiccupy. I am stupidly head over heels in love with M. He has a useless gf. He hasn’t left her and who know if he will. And even if he does, he’s not going to be interes...
I'm feeling...
I’m really not sure… Like I’m wasting time… Like I’m never going to find anyone I actually see a future with… Like hopeless and miserable and just worthless… I took today off because I needed a 4...
Green Eyed Monster...
I’m just jealous. M and I have been off for a while. He hasn’t been complaining about his gf and he’s been more social with F at work than me. So I kinda feel the need to not socialize with F an...
Realizing...
I think I’m finally beginning to realize that M was just this pipe dream that was never going to happen. For a long time after I kicked out my ex bf I was constantly asking myself why I wasn’t e...
Exclusion...
This may sound stupid. But I can’t help how I feel. My profession is mainly male dominated. The only other woman at my plant is an administrative assistant chick. There aren’t very many women in ...
Fantasy Life...
My daydreams have gotten a little out of control… It’s late. You text me. Almost illegibly. Drowning your feelings in fireball. Wanting to talk to someone. But not a guy because then you couldn’t...
Gah...
Ok… so I’m so just done and bored with C. When I describe the sex as boring and mediocre at best… and oh so vanilla. Not that I’m a total freak in bed, but just gah… I’ve been super busy at work...
Long Week...
It’s just been very long so far. Been busy at work catching up on a bunch of evaluations and stuff. No M to make the day go by faster. Haven’t heard from him at all actually. H texted me the othe...
Motivation...
I have none… I pretty much accomplished nothing at home today. I did get a spreadsheet thing at work finished at least. I almost feel like I need to get up and clean but sleep. It’s going to be ...
Just Argh...
Ok seriously… what is wrong with guys??? V came over last night. We pretty much did nothing. Like we messed around and he got his twice but me not so much. I went around and fed all my animals an...
Weekend Plans...
So far my only plans are V coming over tomorrow night. It’s been a little while since I’ve had anyone stay the night and he’s said he’s staying. I need to do things around the house. I need to s...
Also...
V asked me if I’ve ever been to a swingers club and said I might like it. I’m not sure how to take this, but I’ve never even gone to a club/bar and picked a guy up or gone home with a guy, so fuc...
I'm not sure...
Of anything really… I’ve been in a super funk recently. Last week I fostered a dog. I took him to the adoption event on Saturday and a nice couple took him home for a foster to adopt trial week. ...
Still Catching Up...
I have no idea where to begin. Hmmmm… ● I got a new tattoo on the 16th. It’s mostly healed up now but still occasionally itchy. It’s on my right side. Hurt like a motherfucker. It’s a deathly hal...
Where to start...
Been a little bit since I wrote. Have a lot to catch up on. I’ll start with the fun stuff. Not this past Friday, but the Friday before, V came over. I was still cleaning when he got here. He came...
Productive...
My weekend was fairly productive. On Friday I got to leave work early because of the snow. I stopped for beer and chocolate covered pretzels and spent most of the evening knitting and watching mo...
Birthday...
Tomorrow is M’s birthday. Today I made him a birthday lunch. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans. He doesn’t even like meatloaf, but he loves my meatloaf. Followed by a reese cup...
Blah...
So it’s a new year… I don’t really do the resolution thing, but I have decided that I absolutely have to be more diligent in doing my PT exercises. I need to do them a minimum of 3x a week. So fa...
Got to go...
Ok for starters, JM has got to go. I’m waiting until after the holidays, but he’s just way obsessed with me and we aren’t sexually compatible and it just sucks. Like he’s a really nice guy, but p...
WTF?
I’m not sure… the other night I made plans to go to this Science of Beer thing as part of a 21st birthday party. I thought oh I’ll have one drink at home before I go and loosen up and have a grea...
More Needs...
To continue… On Tuesday I stayed late at work. M was here after 2pm and B was covering a shift so he was here all day. That afternoon B wanted me to give him a massage which is nothing new. I rub...
Over...
I think this book is over. The last few weeks have been tense and very back and forth. We talk, I flirt, he either ignores it or recently just texted back “stop.” I find it really difficult to s...
Crying While Driving...
I’ve done too much of this lately. It’s like I feel the need to get the tears out before I get home, not that there’s anyone there to see me. I just don’t even know how to explain it or if I eve...
Figured It Out...
I think I figured it out. Why I like M so much. I think it’s because he’s a rare combination. He’s rugged and handsome and a manly man type, yet he has similar interests that don’t quite fit the...
Friend Zone...
Lots to cover… I’ve still been hanging out with M a fair bit at work. We still flirt with one another. But there have been a few strained moments. On Wednesday I had a Dr appointment. Yearly obg...
