Entries 382
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I love my brain
It’s a little funny that I recently have this appreciation, because for all my life I hated it. I should say, my parents and the authorities in my life hated it. They hated me. But, as an interna...
The storm
That just blew through was magical. I sort of used to wonder if the ecstasy of a good storm was all in my head. No one else seems to be very excited about them. I sense the storms coming and I lo...
Health
Mental health, Religious people are mentally healthier than non-religious. After reading Deuteronomy again recently, I can’t help but think on the bit about how the why God wants his followers to...
I'm getting old
And I think it has just begun to sink in. I have 2 kids and want more, but I’m seeing gray hair. My energy isn’t what it once was. I see lines on my face. My knees sometimes are so painful that I...
Settled
I recently picked up my journal from 2019, when I first began intense therapy in earnest. Having not been in therapy now for quite awhile, and having not felt any “need” for it possibly a few mon...
Real Estate
rental is soon to be a thing. We’re gearing up to move out of dodge and rent out our current home. It’s been 2 years, and honestly just a little bit bummed that my gardens and orchard are just ge...
I have written before about
My hatred for government before. But recently I have come to a deeper, far more holistic understanding of it’s evil. I’m it even sure that I want to write about it. It’s crimes are so gruesome, s...
Growth
It’s been while since I wrote publicly a reflection of my life. Having children makes us adults. I don’t care about anything a non parent has to say- about almost anything with the exception of ...
I Would Have Been a TERRIBLE
mother in my 20’s. I didn’t want kids. I hated them. I was terrified of accidental pregnancy. I had nightmares about it. I wasn’t engaged in behavior that would result in accidental pregnancy, it...
Feeling Self Conscious
I can’t remember the last time I felt it this strongly. I finally met an older woman yesterday after months of email and then mail correspondence. I had hoped to find a friend, homeschool co-op ...
The Rainbow
Was a reminder of God’s covenant with man. After God destroyed all humanity except for those who kept the law. It’s now paraded ironically with pride for what God labeled an abomination. And it’s...
The Uncomfortable,
no-good, hated, derided, and name-called truth about parenting; your kids’ actions are your fault. Yes, parents, your child’s actions, decisions, behaviors, choices, are all your fault. I’m open...
New Bed Canopy
Lexi does not like it when I type on the computer :’) hence no entries Wanted to jot down my experience of the first night sleeping under the EMF blocking bed canopy. A few reasons we made that e...
Fun
Made this with my son yesterday And we’re telling “The Little Red Hen” rn (we focus on putting on lots of color and just vague shapes for our pictures)
I Should Write a Book
My parents always said I should. Ironically, that book will be largely a condemnation of their evil. Larger picture perspective is also deeply ironic. I was encouraged in my writing by my fathe...
Thoughts
As a science-minded person, I am cautious of bias. Specifically my own bias. I experience bias on a personal level. As in, if I haven’t actively tried to disprove a concept that is primarily or s...
Aw, SH*T
Banks collapsed. USDC unpegged. BTC pumped. In other news, the electricity is slowly making it’s way through the house. Currently half the kitchen has new 3-wire proper grounded conduit wiring....
Adult Children of
Emotionally Immature Parents needs a re-read. I have drafted a few letters to FIL only to discard them all. None of them were good. Either I went on too long explaining my stuff while pointing ...
Our house
Is so jank. It’s humorous in a way, if it were not for some real health hazards. We had one problem (of many) wherein our electrical was grounded to the plumbing. This causes a myriad of issues,...
I would recommend
Every mother to do some kind of pelvic floor physical therapy or exercise. Honestly it should be standard of care. The nameless nagging “stuff” that bothered me is gone. Even my knees feel better...
Thoughts
The violence of today is a pernicious shadow of the past. PT therapist (T) told me about her family a bit. Her husband taking her kids out to see his sister and mom. And T didn’t mind not going b...
I was There
Lately at PT therapist has talked about her kids. I’m surprised at the number of regrets that pour out of her. Seemingly without notice, without awareness, and with a sort of air of “it’s like th...
When is it Appropriate
To consider ear piercing for your daughter? The question is intriguing to me because the fact of body autonomy and informed consent is forefront in my mind. And when does a child have the degree ...
It's always something
I’m feeling kind of annoyed. It is so difficult to find people/institutions/individuals genuinely interested in the well being of others. I’m annoyed because, after feeling tired, low energy, h...
Church!?
Scream the atheists and Christians alike, when they discover I’m an atheist going to service. It’s not that weird, though. I mean, it’s unusual. But, logical. I needed to take seriously the warni...
Book Description
Thoughts, and Whatever else.