Public

Journal

by Miss Chiffs Manager

Entries 349

Page 4 of 14

January 25, 2023

It seems like

A lifetime since I last wrote. It’s a whole nother world, on the other side. I feel so much better. I’ve improved my behavior and relationship with my son so much it’s unrecognizable. To anyone i...


HEX jumped a full 70% so I took out my initial principle. I’m really happy I did… Even if it continues up, the peace of mind was worth it, and the rest is profit. I didn’t do that last year, and ...


January 12, 2023

Conversation

With aunt B went pretty well yesterday. I had a few revolutionary ideas to drop on her.. lol. I have the feeling that she will be mind-blown until about 2 hours after she left. People have a way ...


January 10, 2023

Mental Illness

Recently I watched someone describe what acting out borderline personality disorder was like. I call it acting out… Because like most of these psychological disorders, it always seems to never h...


January 09, 2023

Y'all my babies

Are the cutest! They also have big heads. This bean had a 15” head at birth. I still have diastasis recti, which is separation of the abdominal muscles, and (tmi!) trouble holding in elimination...


January 07, 2023

2022

Was the first year that I have made no contact with my parents. I find myself imagining conversations with people who might ask about it. No one ever does. The last request I made to my parents ...


January 06, 2023

My wish is coming

True.... I think. W is a lot better today and so is L. I don’t have any symptoms either except for that random fever a day ago. I really need to get back on the home cooked meals and strict no ea...


January 05, 2023

Annoyed update

This was the third entry I made in the last few days that got deleted right after I hit publish. Anywho. Life goings on. Our kids are currently sick. W has snotty nose and that’s pretty much it, ...


December 29, 2022

Dad,

The guy who never gave a shit. The very last time I saw my dad, it was at my cousin’s wedding when I walked up to say goodbye, and he gave me a disgusted sneer and said nothing. That was 2 years...


December 28, 2022

Posturing

I’ve caught myself doing it twice in the last 2 days! Uhg. I don’t want to characterize it as “cringe”, but it is… At least that’s how I feel, and how I imagine others feel. Both times were spea...


December 27, 2022

Family, dreams

Time with the ex army aunt and her family was actually quite nice. DH echoed my own personal feelings on the way home. He told me how he was pleasantly shocked at uncle E’s (aunts husband) self ...


December 21, 2022

Glowing

Says DH. “What?” I look up from staring dreamily at my baby. “You’re glowing! You look really nice today.” DH repeated. Huh. At first I feel a bit of warmth - like a genuine reaction to a kind...


December 16, 2022

Expectations

I’ve realized that our toddler, W, isn’t like the other kids some time ago. But I hadn’t connectedwhy until maybe this morning. I mean, I know why- peaceful parenting. But more specifically, it’...


December 16, 2022

Who wants this?

Not the first time I’ve contemplated the possibility that my mom wants for me to get away. I almost buy the idea that she is rooting for my freedom. Because of her over the top sympathy, her vic...


December 11, 2022

Friends

My friends are great. Too great.... They brought over meals and gifts for the new baby, and I really want to say ‘thank you’- and now Xmas is right around the corner! I think I will give them Xma...


December 08, 2022

We Went Out

Yesterday for the first time just me and the kids. It went really well. Idk why but I’m continuously shocked at how well mannered and willing to please our son is. The terrible 2s is more like t...


December 05, 2022

Nowhere

Where you goin? Yes we’re going nowhere at all for Christmas! We went nowhere for Thanksgiving either and it was glorious. We had a few friends over, and then DHs grandma and aunt stopped by last...


December 02, 2022

Dissociation

DHs grandma and aunt came over the other day. DH was noticeably dissociated/distracted while they were here. I pointed it out to him, today, and asked if he’d noticed. He said he did. And told me...


December 01, 2022

Happiness again, FIL again

I told DH the other day that I’m so happy that I almost feel guilty about it. We had an interesting discussion about how most people hate and attack happiness. The most obvious and hyperbolic exa...


November 28, 2022

Died Suddenly

Was disturbing. I can’t get the images out of my mind. I’ve seen the pictures before floating around from different articles and they all look pretty similar even from widely disparate places an...


November 24, 2022

Happiness

Apparently stay at home moms and housewives are the happiest people around. I’m really starting to understand why. And I’m beginning to resent the prejudices that my mother, govt schooling, femi...


November 22, 2022

FIL

Yesterday, I found out DH saw and talked to his dad last week at the grocery store. This little bit of innocuous information isn’t particularly important in itself, it’s that I found out not fro...


November 18, 2022

1 week

I’ve been mom to my girlie Lexi Bird for 1 blessed, glorious week! She’s a peach. In and out. Our son was so laid back once we met the initial challenges, and this girlie is so good natured righ...


November 15, 2022

11/11

She’s here, on 11/11/22, which is another cool number! Water broke last night at 10:30, and 5 hours later she was here. It went so fast, yet every moment seemed to take an hour at the time. It w...


November 14, 2022

Help

Getting help has been biggest concern for this newborn stage. I’m selling into the newborn routine quite nicely. I thought I’d be more tired. But really with a few 2-hour solid sleeps in a day, I...


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Thoughts, and Whatever else.