Magma
by JB
Entries 102
Page 4 of 5
Regret
Everyday I wake up I come face to face with the end results of my errors. I hurt my wife, my kids and friends. My friend whom I involved myself with albeit from long distance and for almost 20 ...
Tendrils.
Reaching, digging in to pull myself up only to look skyward and find myself drawing deeper into this hole. Keep getting bound by thoughts I try to avoid. My group meetings teach me it's a though...
Rain
It is Monday morning and I'm sitting alone in my office, Florence & the Machine massaging my ears with "Blinding". I have some work to accomplish and some straightening up to do before my ne...
Last night my wife confronted me about one of my followers on Pinterest. It is Her. She and I had been carrying on an affair for a long time long distance. My contact with her which was at one ti...
Struggling.
I am more tired than anything. Work lately has consumed my thoughts more because I have alot of pressure and no one else to take any of the work load. I hate it. We are looking for an assistant f...
sigh
Somedays I just feel so tired, struggling here in the office, working alone. My father offers to get me an assistant p.m. to deal with the work load and yet even this is too late. I hate this.
smoke signals
Sometimes I see things, symbols, gestures, quotes and I think its you. It gives me hope. Hope that you don't hate me.
submission
Behind the doors of places we shouldn't have shared are memories I can't help but replay. You bent in your own submission to me, eyes wide with hope and promise that I'd find that magnificent tr...
lest we forget
For one moment Your voice as it haunts my hallways Ghost whisper strong and steady Washing up memories we've tried to bury But no matter how deep I dig it won't ever deep enough And these hound...
In the starting blocks
So my saturday morning begins with rain, hopefully this dissipates soon so my son's birthday party can happen outside. Granted there'll be indoor activities no one wants to stay inside the entire...
sigh
Sitting here at work earky is the only reprieve I have from my busy day. Today is going to be a tough one. Things on my mind; my marriage mostly. Joey turns 5 tomorrow, he is getting so big. ...
quiet sunday evening
Kids are asleep. The sheer volume of activity the pair of them experienced today in our continuing effort to clear/tidy up the rear buffer zone of our property left them exhausted. They wouldn't ...
Quickly...
It is hard to believe that despite the wind's wailings that tomorrow will mark a 5 day stretch of warm (55+ degree) weather. I am even happier it starts on Friday and stretches through my weekend...
family day
Nina took off today, spent the entire day together with the kids. I hit the gym eatly before any of them awoke. Ella's voice greeted me when I returned home sweaty and tired from bicep curls and...
Unbound
There comes a time when you must unbind things from you. Things which should be free and let to live. Sometimes when these things are done it is you who is truly free. But you've got to recognize...
Sometimes
There are times even with everything happening around me at their pleasant pace that I find myself sitting here truly lonely. Perhaps it is something I just need to get over, or "man up" as they ...
Snow
Last night there were forecasts of snow, 6-8". In the haze of the blowout that the Seahawks dealt to the Broncos I almost forgot to prepare for this. Luckily there was enough wood on the deck to ...
From the ashes.
Another small but important hurdle passed today. A trip to the hospital for outpatient surgery, my mother drove me as big would be under sedation and made for a return drive inadvisable. But it i...
Somedays
Some days it is easier than others. Today is one of those days, just trying to stay focused is a bitch. Much of me wants to escape/black out from my responsibility but I know I just can't. Need ...
11 days away
Birthday is coming, lucky 37 is on it's way. Hoping for a better year, steps being taken, need to build momentum.
Good things
my std results came back, all negative for everything. my stomach virus/flu is over as of yesterday, no friend sitting at Christmas dinner without appetite when my mom's best plates are spread a...
12.21.13
A month away from my birthday as of today. Went to the lab and got my blood work done, for my own peace of mind and that of my wife's to rule out any STD's, despite being careful the entire time...
Birthdays
This is going to be the first time in a long time I won't be able to say happy birthday to her. Regardless of my wrongs we were friends before anything else. It pains me I can't even say happy bi...
Before dawn
Sitting at work now a half hour. It is 6:15am. I am here because I have no choice in getting things done, it is unfair one person must make these efforts alone to catch up and get work done. But ...
Wreckage
It has been 24 hours since she stumbled upon my reality, my secrets. My return home yesterday evening was steeped in pain, crying and the slow sinking feeling of what I have really done. I can'...
Book Description
Raw thought, emotion, nonsense, truth, lies, subterfuge.