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Christmas Week
I’m cooking a turkey today, so I can serve it with roast beef on Christmas. The house smells great. Our eldest son’s girl doesn’t eat beef. She also can’t have any meat with skin, fat, or bone on...
Dinner With the Godfather
I had dinner on Saturday night with the Godfather. No, really. He’s my little old Italian godfather. Uncle Robert and Aunt Pat. We eat early. 5 PM. He’ll be waiting. When I walk in, he rises and ...
A Vote, a Decision, and an Opinion
The Vote: The Bradenton Beach vote for mayor was a real nail biter. The race between Shearon, who was mayor until he was ousted last year, and Clarke, who was put in his place until this election...
Happy Birthday to Me
Hmmm…well, this is a very different birthday for me. My husband is working on the other coast, one son is in the air, flying home after an AWESOME trip to Norway, and eldest and his girl (who are...
Good-bye, Beloved Son...
…You are sorely missed. Isaiah 49:15-16: “Can a mother forget her child, be without compassion for the son of her womb? Even if she should forget, I will not forget you. See, your name is writt...
There Were Aggravations...
…those don’t stop for something as insignificant as death. Nick’s financial troubles were catching up to him and he was about a month away from finalizing bankruptcy. When bill collectors find th...
In The Quiet Morning...
…there was much despair. Do you remember that Joan Baez song? The funeral was over, everyone had gone home. And then my husband and youngest son left town for a job in North Florida for the week...
The Funeral...
…and the aftermath. Emily, our foster daughter, spoke of our unconditional love for Nick, who was always misbehaving, and for her. Pastor delivered a short message on Habakkuk, then we blasted th...
We Were Living Every Parent's Nightmare...
…and couldn’t wake up. We had to identify Nick’s body, and his girlfriend) and our eldest son came, too. I blessed his body and touched his face. The grief was overwhelming, but I focused on deta...
Belonging to a Club...
…I never wanted to join. When you lose a child, a part of your body has died. For women, it is that simple. There are times when my heart aches for him. “Tears, idle tears, I know now what they m...
Learn to Focus on What is Important...
…and learn to let go of the rest. That advice is for me, but you’re welcome to it, too, if it suits you. Nick was out of jail for good. His progress was bumpy but he was trying. He swore he was o...
When You Fight For Your Kid...
…you don’t give up. Ever. Drug addiction is not pretty, but the drug addict is still worthy of love. During Nick’s last incarceration, we went to Massachusetts for a weeklong vacation. It was a g...
Sometimes the Biggest Hearts...
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Book Description
The loss of a child, no matter what age, is devastating. It seems an insult to nature’s natural laws. This is my story of losing my son, Nicholas, at age 30 and the insights gained from the experience. It is written mostly for me, to try to make sense and put order to the chaos death leaves in its wake, but also written for others, that they might find healing in some of my perspectives. Grab a box of tissue. You’ll need it.
