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naked.
no not the actual thing. ‘ya know that feeling when? you forgot your keys/phone/wallet/w/e that kindof ‘naked’ feeling? yeah that’s how i am. i miss his presence. and it’s starting to drive me cr...
park. bench. distanc. us.
so um. in my park we have this certain bech we’d sit on. and lately well the past 2 times really i’ve been sitting on a different bench in order to.distance myself from him.
mrs. santa claus.
‘so there’s this quote. from the movie ‘mrs. santa claus’ [which last time i checked i really liked. been awhile since i’ve seen it though so]. w/ angela landsbury [she was in ‘murder she wrote’ ...
things i'll miss.
so i still haven’t heard from evan. not that it’s been all that long as it hasn’t. um wow things i’ll miss: .........his physicality. the way he can make me laugh like really laugh like.......the...
Lee. cutting. purpose. evan.
‘so this guy Lee. who i know from HS. [btw i’m ok talking about this otherwise i wouldn’t’ve brought it up]. well one day we were talking about my cutting. and he said something like ‘well what i...
don't cry for me argentina
‘it won’t be easy you’ll think it strange when i try to explain how i feel that i still need your love after all that i’ve done. you won’t believe me all you will see is a girl dressed....... i h...
think it's time/not a big crier
and about alcohol. and music. ‘but. i think it’s time. i really......do.’ er as in. [since apparently i’m vague a lot. um anyway before i go off]. i think it’s time.to let evan go it has been for...
well.....
‘well..........it’s his loss as they say. yes which is what this whole thing is about. it’s as much his as it is mine. i have a part in this too i’m......a part of this too. ‘
the only thing different the only thing new.........
‘ya know.....i was thinking about it. [as if you couldn’t tell from my recent updates]. and i was thinking about what’s changed since a little over 3 yrs. ago. he & i were talking about it re...
i don't wanna break your heart give your heart a break
‘i don’t like being the one responsible for breaking his heart. but maybe it won’t i don’t know. but ya know that’s reality. as much as we care about someone we have to break things in order to m...
the future.
‘sure we all say we know what the future holds but we don’t really. oh sure we all get up at a certain time or go places at a certain time or do things at a certain time or.w/e. but, ya know. bey...
homeward bound i wish i was.......
‘ya know. he was my home. i felt safe w/ him. [which, is ironic]. and, that doesn’t happen to me a lot so, it meant something and it still does.actually it meant quite a bit. but. just like the i...
once again. from my fb: ‘he once told me ‘no. i’m gonna love you so i don’t [have] to lose you’. well and at the time.........yeah. but guess what. he’s already lost me. i’ma still be here for ot...
um so on sun. i did my laundry. as usual. on mon. valerie came. we went to chipotle the one by southlands. on tues. i..........i think i went to the store yes that’s right. on wed. i don’t think ...
compassion wonderment. and here we are.
and again. from my fb: ‘people might be wondering what happened to my compassion. [or maybe they’re not i don’t know]. well that’s the thing. i’ve had it for him. i’ve been nice.........i’ve been...
reviews. no not actual ones.
and again. from my fb: ‘reviews. [no not actual ones]. ok there are all these reasons to be er w/ him. like a movie has all these good reviews. and then 1 bad one. [not that i pay attention to re...
well........
again. from my fb: ‘and so now we wait. well i do. untill fall which is when i’ll talk to him about this. it’s um it’s been an experience. it’s been interesting. ‘
brothers.
no i don’t have any. from my fb: ‘he’s like a brother to me. he’s the closest person I have to a brother since Pat........well. goes without saying. but if we come back in however long and he’s s...
ya know. i almost kindof hate to say it but i’m actually somewhat relieved. that this is happening. it’s been a long time coming. like in a way oh thank god. oh thank god i won’t ‘have’ to deal w...
well. in the words of ‘friends’. yeah pretty much. from my fb: ‘yes exactly. or w/ his phone.......or his email. or w/e. i’m not in a relationship w/ someone who has one w/ me. i’m in one w/ som...
say something i'm giving up on you.
[again]. evan has. till fall to prove himself to me. and if he doesn’t by then............then. that’s it. for 3 months. which means. he has to come every time i’m at my mom’s. at the park. see m...
one of those women who........
from my fb: ‘i’m one of those women stupid enough to think she can change a man. or that anyone can change him really. ‘ yeah. i’m like oh so since he won’t listen to me maybe he’ll listen tosome...
yeah um...............that’s the thing. is evan’s put me through hell as it were. w/ the waiting and the tears and the back and forth. so yeah.
yeah ppretty much. or things will be changing come fall.
that was from my fb. ya know. in like.........fukin dec. after 3 months of not talking to him yeah sure we’ll talk again. after 3 months of being like ok well we’re not getting together. and once...
Book Description
things that happened in 2015
