Entries 37

Page 2 of 2

So apparently I wake at 3am these days, that’s just super. Sitting in the doorway, backlit by they honeyed glow of the living-room lights, staring blank into a sky of such pure black it meets th...

---

Spoon up the pieces again and swallow them, crunch shards of shattered self between my teeth, breakfast cereal; it’s ok. Iron my uniform, put on my name badge, turn up to work on time, don’t fal...

---

Hello again, rock bottom. I know you, we’ve met many times. I know every fold of your black velvet and every sharp serration of your steely grip. I know every word of the lullabies you whisper, ...

---

Fucking pick up the pieces of yourself, moron, and stuff them all back inside where they belong. Swallow them like broken glass and smile while you’re doing it, I’m fucking sick of your whining. ...

---

Friday night, drunk and messy, smudged around the edges by vodka, Jaeger, amaretto, who knows what else, I can’t remember. Sweaty makeup, glassy eyes, hair unruly curls from too much energetic da...

---

So full of holes, so empty, Just destroy me, let me break So tired of seeking peace and of being more than I can take So tired of being shattered and so tired of my mistakes The air too thick an...

---

Your fake, plastic girls with their wide plastic hips, their cosmetically-inflated chests and their sugar-pink candy lips. All their orange rubber curves spilling out of tiny thongs, pseudo-whore...

---

The walls are always too close at the moment, so close they’re crushing my ribs and I can’t breathe. I’ve always thought I was here on a short-term visa, on borrowed time; I was born flawed, born...

---

There’s a hole in me somewhere, a bath with the plug left out, always empty, always drained. An emptiness inside me that means I am always just one push from caving in on myself like a dead tree ...

---

Last night I dreamed of falling, just falling. I’m wasted, a mess, I’m shaking; I’m alone, again, as always. Black mascara tears down my face, my vision vodka-blurred soft-focus in the early-nigh...

---

Because when you are so ugly inside that you cannot stand the pain of introspection, like staring into the sun until your retinas burn, that monstrosity should be mirrored on the surface. It shou...

---

Six months before, we had no idea. No idea that cancer was already growing in your brain, stealing you. In Wetherspoons with my boyfriend, getting happily half-drunk on rose wine at midday, midwe...

---