Brave face in A new era

I am emotionally drained. Work has been relentless and exhausting. Just one sad case after another, breaking my heart, when it's already breaking over George.

He was so hopeful when I went to see him earlier this week, he mentioned radiotherapy to me, and used the word 'cure'. I know that lung cancer with liver metastases is not curable, but didn't say that to him, obviously. He messaged me on Thursday to tell me he'd seen the oncologist and they've told him his cancer is terminal but haven't given him a time frame yet.

I haven't really had time to process it to be honest, I've worked every day this week, and it's been so busy I've been meeting myself coming backwards. I got George's message when I was out with John and his family celebrating his mum's birthday, and have worked ever since.

I'm not known for my reticence but i find I just can't talk about it. I can't put into words just how sad I am. George and I have an undefined friendship, with him being so much older than me it's almost grandparent like, yet we're not related. We're friends, old work colleagues, and i don't know, as I said in my last entry, he's always been a bit of a personal cheerleader. He's always wanted me to be happy and successful and is happy for me when good things happen in my life like family should be.

It's difficult, trying to wrap my head around the fact that before the year's out, George is likely to no longer be with us. No more messages, no more sitting in the garage with a cuppa, putting the world to rights while George is meant to be working! It's actually just incomprehensible at this point.

Xx